ok, after my little mental drainage the other day, I'm feeling at least a tiny bit better. perhaps it has something to do with the fact that brian and paul have threatened to beat me until either all my depression is swallowed by the intense pain of breathing, or I'm simply overtaken by the euphoric feelings of near-death.

I don't enjoy my job. I perform my job, but I gain absolutely no satisfaction whatsoever from it. Is this the way life is supposed to be? my parents always told me that when I was older I'd be able to find a job that suited my interests, a job that would help me feel fulfilled. have I done something wrong? am I not trying hard enough? can I not spout enough bullshit to weasel my way into a job I'd love to do, but perhaps don't quite have the required level of experience? what is the deal with the only positions that are open are either a) total shit that no one wants or b) nice, but require exhorbitant amounts of hands-on or book knowledge. how do these hiring managers think people get experience for these jobs in the first place? someone, somewhere has to hire someone just a little less than experienced, or am I just missing out on something?

as a side note, and kind of just so I can work in an interesting/funny link I've found, let me just say this.

I like Kegels.

I really like Kegels.

The KegelMaster is possibly the greatest invention of the modern age.