it's late. too late for me to be up writing this post when i have to work tomorrow. i have a lot on my head right now and figure i'll spill it out here.

it seems that i'm in the middle of a rousing game of "a" against "b". it would seem that i'm stuck being "c", not knowing, truthfully, what the fuck is really going on. i'm about to "c" myself out of the whole situation. i know i should have a lot more faith in people, but when shit like this comes tumbling down on my head on a day like i've had…you tend to want to cut your losses, you know? maybe nipping things in the bud is the best thing that can happen for my situation right now. take a step back say "you may very well be right, but i think it needs to be like this for right now." that's understandable, right? i mean…shit…we're only human.

i've had so much shit lifted off of me over the past week. but true to form, i've had a whole new pile of shit dumped back on me. i'm in a position where i want to take control of my own life. tell everyone to fuck off, and get my own shit straight. i have to sort out my own baggage before i can handle someone else's. i don't think that's too much to ask from people. i've spent the better part of the last 10 years watching the world go by. wishing things would go the way i want them to. i think it's time to gain some measure of control, before the whole thing tumbles down the pot.

on a lighter note, we saw snatch last night and antitrust tonight. a two movie weekend is rare for me, but i think with everything that's been going on, i enjoyed the escape for a couple of hours. it was really needed.

snatch was nothing short of brilliant. it was amazingly written, amazingly shot, and funny as all hell. brad pitt turned in a really fucking phenomenal performance. he really stole the show, along with vinnie jones. it's highly recommended, and i'm sure it'll end up close to the top of my year-end list.

and then there's antitrust. i think i'll let matt's words stand: "that movie was a two hour pile of steaming shit." the only reason we decided to see it was that we had a couple of hours to kill and we all couldn't resist the allure of both rachael leigh cook and claire forlani. two great tastes that taste great together. aside from the beautiful ladies, the movie sucked a dog's ass. honestly. it was summed up by one of the climactic lines delivered by a certain mr. phillipe: "in the real world, you're fucked." as in…for paying to see this sack of crap.

and i swear that thing was funded by red hat…

yeah yeah…"in the real world people die…for real."