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Archive for May, 2001


2001.05.31 there is no hurry:

matt is busy moving the rest of his belongings and furniture out of our apartment and into paul's place. i'm slowly starting to realize how empty it will feel around the house. matt will be gone, jess is never home. it'll be like living by myself again. that's fine, i would never complain about it. i'll have lots of space. i'll be able to run around and do whatever. i'll be able to fall asleep to the tv. leave the lights on until i go to bed.

but i also won't have matt to talk to. we both had that annoying habit, at times, to come up with something seemingly brilliant right at the point where we know that we're not going to get enough sleep for work the next day.

i'll miss yelling across the room to matt, saying "turn that fucking thing off" about his alarm clock. of course, i'm half asleep when it happens, so it probably comes out as "mmmmf! fuck!" it's okay, though…the point is made. sometimes i think that i end up doing the job better than the alarm clock.

i guess i barely knew matt when i moved in. we had talked quite a bit, but there's so little you know about a person until you share that kind of space. i think i learned a lot about living with someone. i think i learned a lot about matt and how we are both similar, yet very different. there are fundamental things that matt and i have in common, and we've had long talks about them. he's the quiet one. i'm the loud, obnoxious one. it happens that way.

at first, the idea of bipolar was a novelty. we were two friends that both wanted to do a weblog. i can't remember which one of us came up with the dual weblog idea (probably matt. all the good ideas are his), but we rolled with it. i've learned a lot about (semi)daily writing. i've learned a lot about myself. i've learned a lot about matt. bipolar, now, seems like such a natural thing that i don't know what i'd do without it. i don't think i would even write here without matt on the other side.

probably write that screenplay ginna is hounding me about.

it's raining outside. i'm stuck at work, hoping to squeeze out early so i can help (watch) the guys load up the u-haul and head over to paul's. i'm sure they'll need me sitting on the porch, drinking beer, supervising with the best of 'em.

- 02:17 pm - PL :: 2 Comments
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2001.05.30 i'm consumed by your eyes:

i'm home.

four wonderful days, bookended by a pair of eight hour (almost on the nose) drives.

i went to atlanta, which is in georgia, which is in the region of the united states that we affectionately call "the southeast." i ate at a place called einstein's. i remember hearing something about albert being a vegetarian…that made the lack of meat-free fare on the menu slightly disturbing.

i did not hang out with outkast, the goodie mob, or ludacriss. they were nowhere in sight (except we did see a stretch suv limo). i was assured by megan that ludacriss was hanging out at her apartment, waiting on her to get home. this was when i went out to meet up with her at her place of employment on sunday night. we missed out on pizza, but got to shoot pool in the dive next door. i won both games; one by default, the other by skill. once again, i reign supreme.

it's called luck, ladies and gents…something i seem to have in buckets sometimes…

i had the best reuben of my life at a place called vortex. let it be known that i will eat there again. i would move to atlanta just to have that reuben within reach. it's a miracle to come across a place that can get those all-important ingredients into the perfect ratio.

i had a lot of beer at a place called the earl. it was a nice place. paul would love it. imagine the mag, but bigger…and in a neighborhood like where we actually live. good music. a bar that has high life but no coors light. a place with priorities.

priorities…there's a novel concept. when was the last time we took a long look at our own? realized what's really important?

my weekend was long, but so short it hurts. i had a lot of fun, but there was so much left to do…

there's always next time, right?

- 10:24 am - PL ::
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2001.05.26 you still move me:

as a last day before leaving town, today was rather uneventful. i ended up getting up terribly early today and sitting around the house for a great deal of time. i went out to the record store to pick up the jealous sound ep. while i was there, i ran into a friend of mine, garrett. we caught up, since we hadn't seen each other in a couple of months. garrett let me know he was living right down the block from me. we decided we'd hang out for a while. he came over. i showed him my bitchin' hellboy lunchbox. garrett offered me his electro-harmonix small stone. no catch…just free. that garrett…what a guy.

we hung out for a little while, he headed home, i went out to eat with guy and another friend. it was so fucking uninteresting to anyone that wasn't there that i can't believe that i'm writing about it. worse yet, i can't believe you're still reading about it.

jesus christ…what has this world come to?

the pedal doesn't work. it seems to have a burned resistor. nothing $.25 and a soldering iron can't fix. blah blah blah…it was fucking free.

i'm leaving at 9am tomorrow. i have yet to pack. i have yet to shower. i have yet to do anything closely resembling getting prepared. oh…my life is a sedentary one, it seems…

hope this weekend proves to shake things up a bit. what do you say?

- 02:12 am - PL ::
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2001.05.24 where i used to lay my face:

i'm wearing a shirt and tie at work today. i washed my nice shirt when i was doing laundry the other day, so i thought i'd wear it today. i was going to wear it yesterday, but that whole "sleeping an hour late" thing kinda got my morning off to a frazzled start. so here i am, drinking orange juice, lookin' snazzy for once.

i just finalized plans for leaving town, this weekend. i'm headed down to atlanta with seth on saturday. after friday, i won't be able to post again until tuesday. someone has passed an edict that i will have no computer access for the entire holiday weekend. no . no websites. certainly no bipolar. i hope i live…

i called sarah last night. things are okay. she should be looking forward to her much delayed and misrouted birthday gift to be arriving either today or tomorrow. i hope she likes it.

it's been announced that hey mercedes is playing krazy fest here in louisville, this year. looks like i'll need to take bob and the gang out for some cold ones. the invite was also opened to the bike, as well.

where is my mind? i haven't a clue…

so since i'll be in atl, i guess i should maybe make it a point to harass those tame girls, huh? should be a fun time…

ugh ugh ugh….drawing blanks…maybe more later.

- 09:57 am - PL ::
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2001.05.23 a day late and a dollar short:

holy shit. can it be that i actually missed the bipolar one year anniversary? well…i missed it by a day. not too bad, considering. so if you want to take this day to browse through the archives and see what's been going on over the past year, feel free (not like you couldn't look through the archives any other time). i'm feeling nostalgic, i guess. i was going to link to some specific posts in the past that i think are of merit, but to tell the truth…i think i'd rather just let some of it lie. it's a year of my life. some of it feels like it happened six years ago. some of it seems like it just happened yesterday.

one year ago today, i was working at kinko's. i worked in the computer services department and i hated my job. i don't think i hated what i did as much as where i did it, if that makes sense. i had quite a few cool co-workers, but there were also some shady people. the shady ones are always the people that color your feelings about a workplace, i think. they're the ones that make you unhappy. at least…for me, anyway.

now i work at an isp, troubleshooting network and cable modem problems all day long. i work ten hour days, but i get three off days a week. i make a ton more money, and my chair is more comfortable. i miss laying out things in pagemaker all day, but i like cramming my head with all kinds of new knowledge. i do think i've traded up, though.

one year ago today, i was fairly fresh out of my relationship with jess. we only dated for about six months, all told. it was a good relationship. we had a lot of disagreements. we were too good of friends for us to be together, i think. looking back on it, jess and i had fun. we're still really close friends, and i think that our time together has only made it better.

now i'm fresh out of another relationship. it didn't last near as long, but i think i learned a lot from it. things are really looking up for me, lately, but i don't want to jinx it by saying too much. i'm happy, if that counts for anything.

one year ago today, i was living with my cousin chris and my friend mike. we had a nice apartment. the living situation didn't really work out as expected. chris is still one of my best friends in the world, even if we don't talk as much as we used to. he definitely falls in that category of "people i'd take a bullet for." that's pretty select company, i'd say. once again, it was all a learning experience, if anything.

now i'm living in a big apartment with matt and jess. matt is moving out at the end of this month to go live with paul (only a couple of blocks away). i think we're officially dubbing this "the great roommate swap of 2001" or something. it's kinda funny. jess and i will be the only ones living in our apartment, at the end of this month. at first i thought it would be hard to even talk to her, now i can't wait to have the room to stretch out. matt and i have shared a room for a year. we sacrificed privacy for longer than we thought we would be, but i can honestly say that i haven't felt uncomfortable. i think matt is the only human being that i could share space with, in this capacity, for this length of time.

one year later, my life is totally different, yet strangely…the same.

- 12:35 pm - PL ::
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2001.05.23 i used to be you:

i slept late this morning. i forgot to turn my alarm on when i finally wedged myself beneath the covers last night. i was tired. i had a swarm of good thoughts in my head. the alarm was the furthest from my waking conscious. i cracked my eyes open at about 9:30am and panicked. i had slept over by an hour and a half and was already a half hour late to work, even if i was able to teleport directly there. i went through the morning ritual on hyperspeed, surprisingly i didn't forget anything.

i decided to take a chance and stop off for some coffee on the way in. i think it was much needed, and you always have to answer that call. i lucked out. there is coffee in my coffee. as a matter of fact, there's extra coffee in my coffee. i mentioned not getting a proper mocha last time, so she was like "do you want an extra shot today?" my answer was a resounding "hells yes." now i am awake. bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. okay…maybe not that awake. maybe still a little dim-eyed and tailless.

jesse gave me a card that has reed richards on it, brandishing the ultimate nullifier. this will only mean something to paul and matt.

did i mention that there's actually coffee in my coffee?

it's feeling uncomfortably warm in here, this morning. it feels pretty nice outside today (aside from the spitting rain), but just…strangely warm. that kind of warm that makes you feel sticky and uncomfortable.

this is just kind of sickening. [i would say thanks to molly, but should you really thank someone for showing you something so horrible? how about "link courtesy of molly"?]

i have a vacation day approved for sunday, meaning i have a four day weekend to look forward to. i have some big plans. i hope they pull through.

i don't take your silence as a negative thing. i know you're just listening.

- 11:25 am - PL ::
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2001.05.22 have you thought about your age?

the bank called at 10am this morning to tell me that they had been able to extract my card from the hungry machine. i then proceeded to go right back to sleep.

i woke up at around 12:30 this afternoon. i went about the business of burning some cds and such until i finally headed out with guy to do the afternoon's errands. we stopped at the bank and picked up my card (or should i say cards? for some reason they also had my insurance card! now i wonder how that happened…). we ate at the weed (tumbleweed for you non-louisvillians), stopped by compusa, and then headed off to the post office.

ahhhh…the post office. what a waste of time. they only had two registers open and one of them was being completely tied up by some foreign man getting a passport. he didn't seem to understand that passports were cash only. he then decided to not understand it the 600 other times the lady at the counter told him. and the three or four times after that, even. it wasn't a language barrier thing, might i add. this man spoke fluent english. he just kept trying to get her to put his total onto his debit card. some people, i tell you… there were about a million people in line and the other lady was getting swamped. i really felt bad for her. i got my transactions taken care of with a minimal amount of fuss, and then we were out of there like a bullet.

i stopped off at my house and picked up some laundry and met guy at the laundro-mat. clothes washing hi-jinks ensued. there was a fellow there that seemed like he was claiming every washer, running one guy off with a shout of "i was going to use that one!" ("i claim these washers in the name of spain!") i swear i've seen chimps act more civilized about whacking off than these people were about laundry. it was a shady, shady place, indeed.

clothes clean. time to go about the rest of my day.

- 07:35 pm - PL ::
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2001.05.21 money…it's a gas:

i stopped on the bank on the way to lunch today. i needed to stop by ye olde cashe machine to make it dispense some heard earned money. everyone's done this drill, right? we can do it in our sleep. put card in. put pin number in. plow through options. get money. well…i got as far as step one: put card in.

after popping my card into the slot, the screen didn't do it's usual thing where it asks me for my pin number. as a matter of fact, the screen didn't change at all. it just stared back at me…"please insert card now." i hit the cancel button. nothing. i tried hitting the little buttons by the screen. nothing. i begged it to give me my card back. nothing. the soulless machine has set out to ruin my day. then the screen finally changed…"temporarily out of service." i park my car and walk into the branch to tell them what's wrong. they said they saw me out there looking very confused, so they figured something was up. we went out to the machine and they opened it up, but my card wasn't in the little "bad people's cards" area (where they assumed it would go in a case like this). they looked into the slot in the front and then someone said "it looks like there's two cards in there." i looked in my wallet to notice the conspicuous absence of my medical coverage card. they must have stuck together. the friendly bank people inform me that my cards won't be able to be retrieved until later in the day tomorrow. they have to call in the actual atm people to take the damn thing apart.

all for my card.

cards, i guess.

ho hum. they let me take some cash out inside. i was able to eat lunch. steak escape. gotta love that chicken sandwich.

word around the campfire is that megan is having a super tub re-grouting party. you might want to head over to tame.net to ask her about it.

i get back to work and i get a call from the fbi…when does the weirdness end?

- 03:53 pm - PL ::
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2001.05.21 that didn't take me too long:

piss. moan. "woe is me." piss. more moaning. piss piss.

(i figured you all might be getting a little bored since i've seemed to have gotten over my insane bout of depression. just trying to keep you entertained)

woke up and it was raining outside. i walked round in a daze, matt and i having an exchange about mornings (i still don't really remember what was said. i'm sure he doesn't either). capped off with the semi-regular beastie boys reference: "time to get up and go to work." i never get tired of that one, i tell ya.

i stopped at k's to get some orange juice.

(windshield wipers)

(interstate driving in a daze of daydreaming of being elsewhere)

work.

man this place sucks on a monday morning. no one is awake. the coffee here is the equivalent of drinking toilet water (also known as pepsi). monday, monday. i hate you, hate you.

tomorrow is one of my days off. i'm going to sleep in and then head to the post office and mail sarah back her birthday gift that somehow got returned to me. maybe find a thing or two else to send out. i'll make it a day trip or something. just hang out with the mail people. i'm sure they could use some entertainment.

i'm thinking about taking a trip this weekend. i'm hoping to get my vacation day for sunday approved so that i can have a nice four day weekend. we're off for memorial day, it seems. i'm thinking of renting a car with seth and just driving somewhere. seth and i haven't been on a roadtrip since we went up to chicago for the first hey mercedes show and ruined the old accord (which i'm still somehow driving). it should be a good time, i think.

i had a dream last night that i was driving in a car with a beautiful girl. it was a pleasant drive. i don't know where we were going, maybe charlotte. i just remember her looking at me and saying "i really like you, you know."

i know, i know…now i just have to find you…

- 01:02 pm - PL ::
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2001.05.20 clocks and calendars scream at me:

words to the coffee-making wise: don't switch off in the middle of making my mocha. i had my back turned to the process of the making of my sunday morning treat, reading the paper. i turned around to notice that the girl who was constructing my life-giving beverage was conspicuously absent. another coffeeshop working guy walks up, seeing me look about curiously. he immediately starts pouring the frothed milk into my cup. i was mildly amused at the hand off, but was able to shrug it, grab my coffee and head out the door. i wasn't able to catch a sip of it until i was about 2 blocks away, driving and all. but after the first sip, i was startled to find out that something was terribly, terribly wrong…there was no coffee in my coffee! i like my mocha with quite a bit of chocolate in them, but…this was a mocha with no coffee! just frothed milk (that wasn't very warm!) and enough chocolate to choke a rhinoceros! seeing that i was already on my way in to work, i didn't really have time to go back and have them rectify this situation. rest assured that next time i'm in there, it will be mentioned…

snl was kinda lackluster last night. guy came over and we watched it. walken wasn't really "on," giving rather flat performances ("the continental" was way too long, with only the scenes where walken was making funny faces after being punched any good) throughout the night. the mango sketch was a total bomb, jimmy fallon blew all his skits (as usual), and weezer gave the flattest weezer performance ever, with the version of "island in the sun" with will ferrell playing maracas being the only saving grace. all in all it was a big yawn. so much for the season finale.

sitting at work, suffering from a serious lack of caffeine. this can't be good for me. i hope i don't die.

- 09:52 am - PL ::
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