a round trip of 866 miles. a drive home at 90mph. two wrecks on the way home (none involving me), one involving an overturned ambulance. lunch in nashville with an old friend. two bouts of nearly falling asleep at the wheel. i didn't sleep well the night before.

now i'm sitting at my (new) desk, staring at my cold coffee, writing a rambling post about everything and, at the same time, nothing at all.

i came in to work to start my new schedule, working on the other side of the office, in the previously mentioned new desk. i spent the majority of my first hour getting settled in my new environment. munching on chocolate covered krispy kremes. some things change, some things stay the same.

i'm now in a weird place, getting a handle on changed situations. some situations are much easier to deal with than others. i'm currently fighting one change like a caged animal. it's what i do. i hate to see things i care about slip through my grasp, time and again.

god damn it…i swear this isn't a return to the pissing and moaning of not so long ago. and i won't be posting about this situation anymore. it's out of respect, i think. for the other person. for what happened.

for what will probably never exist again between the two of us.

that, my friends, is a pisser. a real downer. a true frown inducer.

one of these days, things are going to work out the way i want them to. i just really wish that this had been that time. it's hard to meet someone so ideal, and then have everything dissolve due to whatever circumstances transpire. see things evaporate because of things you have no control over.

oh…fuck it. piss, piss, moan, cry.

feel better?