it was my intention, this morning, to write something witty about coffee and work on a sunday morning. something like i seem to try to write every sunday.

the truth of the matter is, i don't feel very witty at all.

my weekend has been a blur of nothing. i drove my new car quite a bit. got rained on friday. a lot. i met matt for a late lunch and we opted for the exact worst time to do it. right in the middle of a torrential downpour. that's about the only exciting thing about the lunch. matt and i discussed some design ideas for the joycam project (still on the back burner, folks). woo! exciting.

i've spent the majority of the weekend recovering my system from the horrible crash and burn i suffered, the other night. i lost all of that email. that bit of information is still plaguing me. it fucking sucks, i tell you. i've been slowly reinstalling all of my software, as i need it. i bet you're reading this and thinking "what the fuck do i care about your windows install and all your shitty ass programs?"

you're right. what the fuck do you care?

why are you reading this?

hmmm….that's an even better question, i think.

you're probably asking yourself that same question right now:

"why am i reading this shit?"

you'll have to answer that one, not me.

i picked up the dogma special edition dvd. it's a really nice set. i still have yet to dig through the 100 minutes of deleted scenes on that fucker. i did watch it with commentary, though. kevin smith commentaries are the best in the biz. especially when he's joined by mewes, affleck, and the seemingly always quiet jason lee.

i finally launched the redesign of transmission3000 the other day (they're all blurring together, at this point). you should head over there and download a show and make yourselves feel happy. music soothes the savage soul. unless it's metal, in which case it just makes the savage soul's soul more savage. the front page is now blog enabled, so i'll try to update a bit more, over there. my next goal is to finally get that newer june of 44 set posted.

only one of my pedals came in.

and my coffee is fucking cold.

to tell the truth, i wonder how i was able to write so much and say so little…i never seem to be able to touch the things that are really bothering me, anymore.

well…here's what's bothering me (i'm gonna catch so much shit for this, down the road, that it's not even funny):

me: i just don't want this between the two of us.
me: it hurts.
me: it's like a white hot iron in my heart.
her: Let it go and it will stop hurting you.
me: let what go? that i'm apparently handling this badly enough that the one girl i care about doesn't even want to talk to me?
me: and who knows if she ever will?
me: there's my white hot pain.
her: Bye Brian
me: don't go.
[she] signed off at 10:15:37 AM.

ladies and gentleman…you see a true pathetic idiot in action. come one, come all…pay a dime and spit on the moron.

i really need to learn when to quit.