i swear i'm about to fall asleep. today has been one of the more ridiculously boring days here at "work."

and the coffee didn't help one bit, even with that extra shot of espresso. what's up with that?

more importantly…what's up with these bourbon burps? mixed with chocolate and coffee? this is some strange shit, indeed.

so i took a 15 minute break and proceeded to close my eyes and concentrate on resting, but not falling asleep. i don't know if the experiment was really a success or not, but no one complained about any snoring, so i think i'm okay.

i sat in the breakroom earlier, eating lunch and watching tv. they had some kind of truck commercial advertising a winch feature on one of the mammoth, gas devouring, environment destroying megalith machines. i was like "what suburbunite needs a fucking winch on their suv?" and then it hit me: when i used to play with remote control cars and all that hooey, i always wanted the remote control truck with the working winch on the front. i thought it would be the g.i. joe accessory to end them all, really. i mean…snake eyes is stuck in the mud? use the winch! pull his sorry ninja ass out!

the need for a winch on an suv is obviously just an extension of this very same mentality. the well-to-do suburban mall-dweller is probably just biding his time until he's out in the wilds of ohio and his wife gets stuck in that damned quicksand. fuck it all! he's prepared! use the winch to help the wench!

and…yes…that is probably the most retarded thing i have ever written. thank you.

i go to sleep now.