i know, in these current times, that we're supposed to be loving all forms of authority, all the cops and firemen. i know this is our duty, as americans, to respect them and their jobs well done. well…shit…firemen rock. my friend courtney is a fireman. he rules. i've skated with courtney for years. now he's a fireman and an ems responder. that kicks ass. he's married, happy, and has a dog.

but cops…when they get on the highway…they suck. seriously. it's like they're the world's slowest pace car. it drives me nuts. and to tell the truth, maybe it's not exactly the cop's fault. it's just all the idiots who slow down to 45, no matter what lane they're in, just so the cop will pass them and they can pretend to resume normal speeds. the cop i was following this morning was doing a nice respectable 70-75. not too bad. but he and i had to keep dodging jokers that would slow down to under 50 in the fast lane. it's insane. i wish i had a police radio to call mr. policeman up and tell him to pull over those jokers "for being suspicious." now that would rule.

cop: i'm sorry, sir, but i thought it was mighty suspicious that you slowed down from 85mph to right around 40, in the fast lane, just because i rolled up behind you. are you high?
man in car: no sir…i just beat my wife to cover for my own penile inadequacies.
cop: fair enough.

or something like that.

the date last night? glad you asked. it went quite well. third time was apparently the charm. let's just say that i beat the handshake curse.

oh yeah…don't forget about those record reviews at 75 or less. i'm thinking over recent albums that i have purchased that might be worthy of reviewing today…

next year for halloween i am going to be iggy pop. you heard it here first.

hey…new guy at the coffee shop…when i say no whipped cream, guess what that means. yeah…it means no whipped cream, retard. better luck next time.

here's an invaluable resource for anyone who loves rock: the black sabbath lyrics archive. just remember, folks: when ozzy left, they replaced him with dio. black sabbath + dio = bad. as in not good. the companion equation, iommi + dio = weird looking band, does not justify it in the slightest bit. please don't try to use that to support your half-baked theory of "the dio stuff wasn't that bad." face it…the dio stuff sucked.