i forgot to mention that while i was sitting on that bench in the garage portion of "the station" that i was seated right next to the previously mentioned crackhead. his cop wasn't really happy with him, so he still had his cuffs on, while i was sitting there, cuffless, making calls on my handy (important calls…like calling the girlfriend to tell her why i wasn't coming over…"honey…i'm in jail."). he made loud protestations about wanting out of his restraints, bitching, moaning, pissin' up a storm.

crackhead: i wasn't smokin' no crack, man. i didn't have no pipe. you put that on me, asshole. i'm writing my congressman!
cop: do you even know who your congressman is?

he was apparently in the midst of a nic fit, as well. too bad for him that i was less than sympathetic.

crackhead (inching closer to me on the bench): hey man…grab that cigarette for me, man. grab it and give it to me.
me: no.
crackhead: come on, man…give it to me.
me: look…your cop and my cop seem to be friends. my cop is being nice to me. if i'm nice to you and i piss your cop off, my cop will probably start being mean to me.
crackhead: fuck you, man! give me that fucking cigarette!
me: get fucked, asswipe. come any closer to me and i'll tell your cop to beat the shit out of you.
(keep in mind these are well smoked butts littered all over the pavement)

then my cop ended up cracking a joke saying "hey, man…i hear you'll get further going straight to the governor. he's really sympathetic to people who are wrongly arrested for smoking crack. oh wait…you probably don't know who the governor is, either. my bad."

who said cops are humorless pricks?