hello, wednesday morning! hello mocha! hello dripping heavily chocolated coffee on my leg right after wishing my mocha a hearty hello! fuck.

just because it amuses me, i've stolen an idea and run with it…

top 3 webloggers most likely to spend time in jail:

1. me (i've been there, so i should obviously be number 1)
2. jon – slatch.com
3. greg – youlookgoodinblack.com

there you have it, folks…the roughnecks of the sissy-writing community. as jon said "we could kick some ass."

note to self: mocha doesn't make a noticeable stain on army green pants. excellent.

i grabbed metal gear solid 2 last night. i couldn't resist. it called my name. i was at a loss of common sense. i was not in control of my checkbook. and damn it…my eyes almost popped out of my head when i saw the opening cinema to that frickin' game. i'm gonna drop some simple instructions for you, now…if you have to, take notes.

:::begin instructions:::

if you own a playstation2, go out and buy metal gear solid 2 now. right now. don't order it online. that means they have to ship it to you, meaning it will take longer for you to get the damn thing. if you're at work, get up, act like a zombie, and head straight for the door. if you don't get it today, it will be gone. sold out. the stuff of urban legends. this game will blow your mind. it may make you weep. please be careful.

:::end instructions:::

it's a little known fact that ben lord's seven questions was shitcanned for not being funny enough. keep in mind that ben is one of my close friends. if it can happen to him, it can happen to you. better luck next time, pal.

i'm thinking of getting a new cellphone this week. maybe tomorrow. i'm tired of this pre-pay shit. they're totally gouging me. it's driving me nuts. absolutely apeshit. i'm spending over $100 a month just to make sure i still have contact with the outside world. keep in mind that jess and i eliminated the home phone once it was decided that she was moving out. when scott moves in, home phone service will be restored. but it'll still be nice to have a handy. roadside emergencies and all that hooey.

it looks like paul has hung it up, folks. he's decided to draw the curtain on the puffin-a-go-go. he cites his boring life and lack of anything interesting to post about. it's unfortunate, really. it was and always will be one of my favorite sites. to tell him to reconsider. maybe he could at least keep it open as a record review site…

ahhh…fuck it. i have nothing interesting to post about…