it looks like scott and i will be seeing lord of the rings tomorrow night. i went up to the theatre to purchase us some of them there ticket things and they were sold out of the late show. since scott works until 10, we opted to just see it tomorrow night. hopefully at least one or two idiots will dress up like hobbits and brandish reynold's wrap swords and say stupid things like "adventure ho!" and "may the….ring…uh…be with you." those people really make my day. kinda like all the retarded little harry potter kids at the theatre on opening night for that.

man. i just called a bunch of kids retarded. pretty harsh. but those books and that movie were so overhyped, it's ridiculous.

i just keep thinking of the fat guy dressed as darth maul at the episode one opening night. we all told him that if he didn't put his lightsaber away, he was gonna walk out of the theatre with it stuffed up his ass. always a good time.

i ate mcdonald's for lunch. halfway through the meal i remembered that i totally fucking hate mcdonald's. i figure walking into one of those hellholes is not unlike sucking the devil's cock. yup. i figure that's a pretty close comparison.

ben will be home tomorrow. this only means even more q'doba will be eaten. he'll probably go with me and scott to go see the movie tomorrow night.

me and scott? scott and i? who gives a fuck?

did you know that at movietickets.com, to buy a ticket, all you need to do is…click it? …now i feel dirty.

i finally talked to "the girl (who isn't the girl, but i keep calling her that because there's a slight chance that she still is the girl and i just don't know it)" last night. looks like we have plans to do something on saturday. that is, of course, if she doesn't cancel on me again. that would blow. expect the worst, right? yeah. so i'll give her the gift and then she'll be like "oop! i've gotta go paint my toenails!" and that'll be the end of that.

or something.

it's raining. it was completely sunny when i came into this joint, this morning. hell…it was semi-nice out when i went out to pick up the tickets for the movie. hrm.

and so it goes.

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can you do "it" without being lame?
if only you knew. i've never had any complaints. although..the girls tend to not stick around. this could mean something…
next!

have you ever not been obsessed with girls?
ouch. i can imagine that there was a brief time when i was a youngster where i thought girls were "icky." i can't really tell you when the changeover happened.

do you think obsession is a problem?
it's not a problem if i ignore the consequences.

first girlfriend: who broke up with who and why?
i broke up with her. because she lived too far away from me and i was 17 and didn't have a car.
did she live in "canada"? "near niagra falls?"
no. she lived in middletown. in douglass hills, to be precise.

who's your lamest ex-girlfriend and why?
my lamest ex-girlfriend would have to be this girl named vanessa. she stalked me for years after i broke up with her, even pretending like she was a lesbian to try to make me jealous (i'm serious!). of course…this didn't work and i just made fun of her. she used to come over to my house all the time and want to have sex. it was insane. i haven't seen her in a few years now, so i think i'm fairly safe, at this point. seth can corroborate almost all of this information.

who is the most lame person who might read this and why?
i really have to break down lame as in "lame by ben's standards" or "lame by my standards."
by ben's standards, of course.
lame by ben's standards: it would either be molly (because you can't resist getting a joke on her, not that either of us really thinks she's lame) or any number of the little 15 year-old girls who seem to be obsessed with the webcam.

what makes a woman like j. brian hall? what makes her dislike him?
to be honest, i wish i knew what women liked about me. maybe it's that i'm a nice guy and semi-attractive in a non-conventional way. i also tend to be funny and witty and have a natural ability to make people laugh. not always in a good way. most women don't like the fact that i like to eat with my feet.
is that it?
if i knew what women didn't like, i'd try like hell to stop doing it.

[j. brian hall tries to write witty things on this here website (called bipolar. you might have heard of it?) as often as possible. he also runs transmission3000 and may or may not like chicken. ben lord plays drums in kilowatthours and seems to think that this is the only way he can avoid having to deliver witty answers to insane questions.]

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i seriously need to cut back on my coffee intake in the mornings. i'm starting to realize that that burning hole in the stomach that cries out to be filled with any edible substance is not what i like to call "a good thing." no way, no how. especially when the only really appetizing food choice in this entire building is those weird donette gems that have the coconut coating on the outside. what about chocolate, people? have we lost our hearts? ahhh…fuggit.

still no free sprite. how hard is this fucking game?

just because this is the most hilarious thing i've seen in a while…christ: last action savior. we should all be thankful for sebastian's existence.

i've been asking people random trivia today. my favorite, thus far:

what is a mollusk?

answer:

mollusk n : invertebrate having a soft unsegmented body usually enclosed in a shell [syn: mollusc, shellfish]

yep. i really am that lame. .

final fantasy x (that would be "10"…not like "final fantasy xtreme" or some shit) comes out today. yep. i really am that lame. .

i'm currently trying to think of who i want to do "seven questions" with today. it's a hard call, i tell ya…

this is an increasingly lame entry into the bipolar archives. please disregard the preceding rambles and snorts. thank you.

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[pardon the fact that this is salvaged from my memory. blogger died (and i mean died) right when i hit the post button. i was unable to retrieve the previous draft from my browser cache. on with the show]

you ever just start the day on the wrong foot? well that's the boat i was in, today. i woke up, took care of the morning rituals (forgetting the orange juice until after i brushed my teeth, again), and jetted out the door. i stopped by the atm next to the coffeeshop to get some cash for lunch and coffee. that's when i discovered i had left my wallet at home in my other pants. feeling like a dumbass, i jumped back into the car and headed back to the house, almost getting in at least three accidents on the short ride home (idiots + rain + cars = trouble). i ran upstairs, grabbed my wallet, and explained to clyde what the hell was going on. she likes to be kept in the loop. .

when i finally got to the coffeeshop, i was already running late for work. i headed in and one of the two beautiful coffeeshop girls was working. i didn't even have to order. nothing like walking into a place and having a beautiful girl give you exactly what you want, with a smile, and saying "have a good morning, brian." that's fucking life, i tell ya. when i walked outside, i realized i was late to work, and suddenly i didn't care at all. that's the easiest way to deal with that "running late" stress: just stop caring. if you keep giving a fuck that you're running late, you're gonna have those running late jitters all fucking day. everything will feel rushed and hectic. slow it down. stop caring. you know the rules: don't let anyone know you give a fuck.

i've decided to go ahead and give the girl the christmas gift i bought her. this is really for two reasons (a) i'm not the kind of guy to buy something for someone based on the fact that i really like them, and then take the gift back just because the other person is being flaky and (b) i can't take it back, anyway. it's most likely a completely inappropriate gift at this stage in our non-relationship, but i figure i'll give it to her anyway. i have to maximize my dumbass factor, after all. besides…i already told her i got her something. once again: dumbass factor at work.

i still haven't won a free sprite.

that superchunk review is up at 75 or less.

here's the unreleased trailer for the new david fincher movie (still forthcoming, as well), panic room. i'm reserving judgment.

i keep feeling like i have something to do this week, aside from the whole "be a moron with the girl" thing. i just can't remember what the hell it is. hrm. oh well.

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i don't think sunday mornings would be so bad if they didn't directly follow saturday nights. i'm slowly starting to understand that walking into work seriously tired and half hung over is not the best of plans. considering i've been doing this for most of the past year…i'm wondering why i haven't figured this out sooner.

last night one of the guys from work had a party. i thought i'd drop in (as no one here expects me to show up at social gatherings) just to see how everyone was doing. mostly i was interested in hanging out with a particular girl that shares my workplace. i gave her a call and ended up fallowing her out to the party. i showed up on the scene with my own six of amstel light under my arm, in typical brian fashion. we hung out at the party for a while, drinking and having a semi-enjoyable time. words to the wise: try not to go to parties with work people. it's safer to keep some of them at arm's length. just a word of caution.

so that girl and i decided to split. she was ready to head home. i followed her back to her house to make sure she got home okay and then headed over to cahoots (are you starting to realize why i hate sundays so much?). i hung out and shot the shit with a few people that i hardly ever see, then i decided to head home. scott was paying ps2 when i showed up on the scene. i was drunk. he had a moustache. that about sums that up. i went to bed.

friday night i went out shopping with matt for a little while (a total of one gift purchased between the two of us. we were on a roll), which was fun. i then went home and got more plans cancelled by "the girl (who was the girl, but who really isn't, anymore)," so i went out to see vanilla sky with scott. more words of wisdom: go see vanilla sky. i refuse to say anything about that movie except that it is really, really good. go see it.

i bought the newest superchunk record. expect a review on 75 or less soon.

other than that? i wish i could take a nap.

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first update from home since the pc died. doing it all from the mac downstairs. i'd like to point out that blogger really isn't worth a shit and a half on internet explorer on a mac. you win some, you lose some. speaking of blogger, i just bought one of those little ads on their main page for transmission3000. so if you're really interested, go over there and reload the shit out of their page until you catch the ad. it's kinda funny. just for the record, connor came up with the slogan.

today is payday. i went out to the office, picked up my check, and shot the shit with seth for a little while. after that it was just the bank, the mall, q'doba, the record store, and then home.

"the mall?" you might ask. hells yes, the mall. i had to take back that piece of shit game max payne and try to finagle my ass into a refund. the new fascistic refund policy at electronics boutique was the only thing standing in my way (since max payne was actually purchased on a return of a previous game. i like to work the system…). i lucked out and the guy that rung me out two days ago was the one at the counter today. he's a new guy. holiday temp, i'm pretty sure. the manager was the one that pointed out the policy, and he was nowhere in sight. i was doubly lucky that he new guy had also bought max payne, returning it for the same exact reason: simply put…the game is a steaming pile of shit. i was able to "exchange" the game for a paid-in-full pre-buy of final fantasy x. so ladies and gentlemen…next week i will be playing a third game on the same dollar as my original purchase, close to two weeks ago. damn i'm good.

i almost bought the newest superchunk record, but i didn't. something must be wrong with me.

now i'm fat with fresh q'doba and i'm ready to do some serious late afternoon relaxin'…

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there are way too many cool things happening at the end of the year. tons of new moves to see (lord of the rings, royal tenenbaums, ocean's 11, etc.), lots of new ps2 games hitting the store shelves (grand theft auto 3, max payne, final fantasy x)…it's insane. too much to do, too much money that i don't have to spend.

last night scott and i had a conversation about not being in the christmas spirit, despite the fact that we were square in the middle of the season. to counter this, we dashed out to meijer and wal-mart to purchase a little christmas tree, some lights, and some ornaments. it's a pretty ghetto setup, but we'll see how it goes over. to add to the fun, scott and i both picked out our own "special" ornament. scott got a black santa claus, i got sulley from monsters inc.. don't read too much into that. it makes as little sense to us as it probably does to you.

now i just have to figure out what to get scott for christmas.

shopping list:
one lump of coal
one swift kick in the ass.

today is my friday, here at work. i work sunday through wednesday, so i get the much coveted 3 days off (i suffer through four 10 hour days, so i deserve it). i'll probably do a whole bunch of nothing, this weekend, but i'm hoping to scrounge up some plans sooner or later. maybe i'll be able to convince "the girl" (even if i'm not sure that she's the girl anymore, but that's a whole different bag of apples) to go out and get some dinner or something. hopefully it'll snow this weekend. hopefully time will speed way up sometime in the next few minutes and i'll look at the clock and it will be 8pm and i will be able to leave.

yep…that last one is a pretty big stretch.

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it's truly the end of an era…it looks like electronics boutique went and changed their return policy. they extended it to 14 days, but they start putting you on record if you've returned for a refund or an exchange. they give you one refund or exchange and then you're done. tapped out. finished. then you can only exchange for the same fucking item that you're trying to get rid of. what a crock of shit.

work is confusing the shit out of me, lately. they keep moving me around to different desks, different sections of the office…i feel like i'm on the run. in retaliation…i'm doing absolutely no work and typing to my weblog, instead. clever, huh?

girls confuse me, too, but we won't even get into that, at this point. way too deep of a pond to go diving into.

i need to buy some new cds so i can review more.

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real quick: they posted my review of grand theft auto 3 over at lost at sea. go check it out. nevermind the editing mistakes…it wasn't that bad when i sent it in, i swear.

more later.

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well, this past weekend was actually pretty fun altogether. friday was the usual getting off work and chilling out, then heading up to the backdoor for drinks and hanging out. nothing really crazy happened, but that's just as well as far as i'm concerned.

on saturday, me, the boys, and our friends pat, nicole, and neil, and brax's gf amanda all met up at ZA's for dinner. we hung out, chatted, laughed, and generally had a good time… and, of course, a good meal (except paul, who'd spoiled his appetite by eating about three hours prior… he just had a salad). after that, we all headed up to the rud to see quasi-local (ok, Richmond, KY) band South 75 and non-local band Gaza Strippers. Local band the Glasspack closed the show, but we didn't bother hanging around. all in all, it was a good show, with South 75 pumping out some good classic-rock sounding tunes and pointing at the ceiling a lot. Gaza Strippers came out and put on an exceptional show as usual, their frontman as dynamic and expressive as any you could ever wish for. the Gaza Strippers play unapologetic full-on rock-n-roll, with no fruity twists or hypnotically repetitious stoner-rock "grooves." if you were to ask for the Gaza Strippers at a bar, all you'd have to say is "rock-n-roll, neat." and there ya go.

sunday found me being rudely (… well, ok… politely… ) awakened by my car-less roommate two or three hours before i had any intention of getting up (i.e. around 11:30am) to give him a ride to work all the way across town. since i was already up and about, i figured i'd take the time to get some christmas shopping done, and y'know what i came back with… ? zilch, nothing, nada. at least as far as real presents are concerned… i ended up spending a veritable ass-load of money on silly little stocking stuffers and other little "token" gifts for various people. but… not a damn thing of real value gift-giving wise. am i just unimaginative, am i just looking in the wrong places, or has our culture become so… insubstantial… that no one is making things that i can look at and say… "now that! that would make a great gift!" unfortunately, even i'm leaning toward the "i'm unimaginative" side of that one.

well, hopefully, i'll get a brilliant flash of inspiration in about 5 days and will make a mad dash to all the stores that have just what i'm looking for. i hate, HATE living in the midst of this consumer culture of ours. giving i've got no problem with, it's the damned shopping i can't stand. shopping malls? havens of vanity and vapidity. strip malls? same thing, only with no shoes and more of a backwoodsman's gleam in the eye. mom & pop shops? … right.

damn them all and their little green strips of paper. i want my replicator and i want it now!

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