I have a day off in New Orleans. I love NYC, but this town knows how to party. Apparently, US currency gets exchanged for cheap plastic beads upon entrance to the "Big Easy," but I don't have any problem with this. I just walk around going "Man, she's beautiful" and "Fuck, she is beautiful" while chicks show me their tits and get me wet.

Some people have posed the question of whether or not I am serious. I am most certainly serious. I do everything to the greatest extent possible. I live life without boundaries. My music is based upon this foundation. I re-recorded my vocals until it sounded like I was vomiting out most lines, since that is quite intense. I believe that just by hearing I Get Wet, you will get wet, and that is a great thing. If my music is not your thing, that is fine. Just party till you puke with whatever you like and we'll be bros in the morning.

Would you like some cocaine?

Sebastian pondered if I ever shower. I only shower when I have pussy on my face and then I shower in cheap beer. My tour bus has running Bud Light on tap, so I said, "Why not in the showers?" and they installed it.

People wanted me to review records. I listen to almost everything, so this isn't too hard. My review scale is ***** = Ready to die, **** = Parties till it Pukes, *** = Parties Hard, ** = It better be time to party soon, and * = Got wet from broken colostomy bag.

Here are two records.

Mates of State: Our Constant Concern – Rating=**. I can only guess that these two people fuck a lot because they're married and their music doesn't rock too much. I make my most rocking music when I haven't shot my load lately (all slow jams for the next album), so all of this stuff seems like what you would listen to after you're done partying and getting wet. I never stop, so I don't know what that feeling would be like, but I'm guessing this would work for it. Their first album had fuller production, which I liked, while this one has too much free space.

Girls Against Boys: You Can't Fight What You Can't See: Rating=****. I should tour with these guys, because they seem to know how to party. Their keyboard/bass player used to wear a shirt that said "picture this shirt wet," which is cool, but also why they don't get *****. It should be "this t-shirt is wet." "Bulletproof Cupid," "Learned It," and "Crash 17" all showed how they used to be ready to die and ready to kill, but now they're just partying real hard, which is good, but not totally soaking wet. "All the Rage" and "Resonance" are covered in puke. It's a good record for the first 10 hours of a party, but when it comes to the home stretch, I'd rather have my record or Puff Daddy's rock remix of "All About the Benjamins."

Keep chatting with me at andrewwkillyou on AIM. I'm mainly off partying, but leave a message and I'll get back to you.