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One of my personal philosophies that I've developed and repeatedly referenced in the last 10 or so years is that "every place is the same." I suppose this is akin to the phrase "no matter where you go, there you are."
Essentially, the idea is that every place has the same components. They may be bigger, faster, older, or cleaner, but it's all basically the same stuff. The names may be different, but the story is still the same. This is becoming increasingly true with this whole global culture and corporate globalization thing that's going on nowadays.
I've noticed this in pretty much every city i've visited–you've got the same collection of bars and restaurants, churches and malls, tattoo parlours and trendy fashion boutiques. Every city has the same sections–the white trash neighborhoods, the ghettos, the ritzy affluent suburbs, and the bohemian avant-garde artsy areas. When you first get to a new city, either to visit or to live, it's always an exciting time of discovery and finding new places to spend your time. After living in a place for a while, you begin to think about it the same way you thought about all the other places you've lived–that there's nothing to do, nowhere to go, and that things just aren't happening the way or as fast as they should.
Anyone who's ever talked to me about moving to a new city, at least in the last several years, have heard the same comments and questions from me with regard to their reasoning. Quite often, the reasons for people moving are not things that are going to be effected by a change of location. In other words, it's not the place that's the problem, it's the person. If you're bored, unhappy, unsuccessful, or otherwise disenchanted with the current state of your life, the only way to make a change is to change yourself. Sure, moving to a new city will, at least temporarily, provide you with the impetus and fuel for a brief change of lifestyle and the introduction of unknown and exciting events. If you want real, permanent change, you have to make the change within first.
To bring this back to the subject at hand, however, i have to say that Paris is the first place that didn't give me this feeling–of sameness. I walked into Paris and perceived a very distinct feeling of difference. Maybe it was just the fact that all the language within my sphere was foreign, that nothing was immediately or easily understood… that i had to struggle to make sense of certain things that, in an American city, would have been more easily accessible. But there were also certain other subtle differences, not all of which were immediately apparent.
Thinking back on it now, it seems to me that people were not as interpersonally involved, they had no desire to know "my business." There seemed to be more personal respect there, the belief that my business was my own and that i, being there, must know what i'm doing there, and that that was good enough for them. I noticed on many occasions, as i watched the crowd, or singled out certain people with my gaze, that often-times that look would be returned with an equally intense look of perplexity–people who i was looking at were looking at me, trying to figure out if they knew me, and if they didn't, they were wondering why exactly i was looking at them so intently. Who must i be to be so blatantly interested?
And the differences didn't stop there. Another thing that struck me as interesting was the fact that Paris is the most pedestrian friendly city i've ever seen (this may not be saying much, considering the breadth of my experience, but no matter). Between the subways, the bus system, and the taxis, there is essentially no need to own or operate a vehicle in Paris. The only reason you might need one is if you frequently travel outside the city either on business or for pleasure. Despite warnings received before i left, i found the public transportation (and, in fact, most of Paris in general) to be quite clean and well-kept–it was not the foul, dirty, smelly place i'd been told to expect. The only exception to this was the fact that pets are allowed to shit on the sidewalks, and the owners are not obliged to clean up afterwards. Of course, i've been told there is an ordinance making this a punishable offense, but obviously no one was very concerned about it and the ordinance is not generally enforced.
Another telling expression of the pedestrian-friendly nature of Paris is the fact that in a large amount of the city (especially newer larger roadways) there is almost as much sidewalk space as driving space. In the states, it is not unusual to find sidewalks that will barely fit two people abreast, but in Paris it is more common to find sidewalks with seating for fifty that still have room for more than two people walking side-by-side. This, of course, leads to another of those subtle differences… in Paris, on pretty much every street, there are cafes that have outdoor seating, but not like the outdoor seating at American restaurants. In Paris, you'll usually find several rows of small–two person–tables outside, with all the chairs lined up in rows facing towards the street. Even the inside seating nearest the windows is often lined up like this, so that the patrons can look out at the world moving about them, rather than simply at each other or the walls or effects of the restaurant at which they've stopped. In America, however, you usually see large round tables with bench seating for 5 or more. More often than not, these tables are placed at the side of a restaurant, and also often with some protective barrier between the patrons and the outside world.
Parisians seem to be more generally involved in the enjoyment of and celebration of life than the typical American. There are many traditions and social conventions that i was introduced to that drove this point home–hand shaking and bisous on meeting/departing, ensuring that you meet eyes with the person whose glass you're clinking after the toast, serving food for your fellow diners rather than making everyone serve themselves, breaking the meal down into courses rather than throwing everything upon the table (and your plates) at once… these are just a few things i remember. This all points to the desire deep within the French soul, expressed by these social habits and expectations, to take things as they come, and to live and enjoy life to the fullest.
Above all though, for me, Paris felt like somewhere that i could call home–a place i could claim as my own, that would welcome and accept me. I've been to other cities and never felt that draw–that urge. Louisville is such a place, which is why i've chosen to "hang my hat" here. Paris is only the second city i've felt i could live in, and it's nice to finally have another option, should the need or desire to relocate ever arise. Of course, i've also decided that, when i retire, if it is at all possible, i'd like to retire to Deauville, or some equally quaint small French town, preferably on or near a beach.
So, to sum up, i absolutely adored Paris, and have become enamored with French culture in general. It will not be soon enough when i am finally able to return.
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brian. said:
wow! it's about time you got done with that series of posts. didn't you get back from paris like a year ago or somethin'?
m@ said:
hehe. very funny.
m@ said:
oh, and i could probably write more if you really wanted me to.
brian. said:
you think i don't?
how often are we on here complaining about your lack of updates?
m@ said:
ah. true. good point.
brian. said:
dolt.
Anonymous said:
TUBE SOX
GEBI? DER K?SE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous said:
LUPITA
Nate said:
You know, I think the central idea of the phrase "no matter where you go, there you are," is a good bit different from "everywhere is the same." If you think about it a little bit, it seems more suggestive of the fact that you can never escape yourself and you make the world around you more than it makes you.
Writers… gah!
Javan said:
I think that is true. Certainly, wherever you are, there you are, but everywhere is not the same. Why do people have favourite cities and countries, then? More basely, why do young children have a favourite tree or spot in their house? Some places are more comforting or exciting to one person than another, and some are exciting or comforting to the general public (we generally call these hot vacation spots).
Indeed, wherever you go, you take your self with you to form your surroundings. The place will not "chronically" change you as much as your self would, I don't think.
m@ said:
nate, i think i said as much when i said "In other words, it's not the place that's the problem, it's the person." but yes, my equation or comparison of the two phrases may've been a bit unsteady. nevertheless, i still hold that both are true.
also, to think of it another way… "everywhere is the same" because "no matter where you go, there you are." which would probably be the more appropriate way of interrelating the two statements according to my purposes.
and javan, sure there are places that might appeal to you more than others, but *generally* everyplace is the same… by virtue of the fact that, the place itself is not going to be enough to improve or correct your outlook on or enjoyment of life. as i said, it might for a time, but eventually you'll have to deal with whatever it was within yourself that made you unhappy with the place you were previously.
when i went to Chicago, i found the city to be invigorating, exciting, and enjoyable. but i also immediately recognized that for all the various troubles i may've been having in Louisville at the time, Chicago the city wouldn't have been able to fix or even really address those issues.
but yes, while i maintain that all places are essentially the same, it is still certainly possible to pick a "favorite." I've picked Louisville. I think that, despite their sameness, cities/towns/communities generally have some personality or other ineffable quality that can consume or attract a person in subtle ways.
ultimately, if you like another city just because "it's not …," then you would be making a mistake to move there.
you need to learn to make the best out of what you've got, before anything better is going to do any good.