today…i would like to address a few things that bug me.

disclaimer: this may not be pretty.

to the fat couple that decided to makeout right in front of the break room door: hey? people? get the fuck out of the way. no one wants to see you nuzzling at work, especially not when your huge asses are blocking all egress to the fucking snack machines.

to the coke machine in the break room and the people that maintain it: what the fuck? stop being broken, you piece of shit. i want coke, not pepsi. i think pepsi tastes like toilet water. whoever maintains that fucking machine better get it fixed real goddamn quick. it's been broke since last wednesday. thanksgiving is no fucking excuse!

to grippo's potato chips: stop being so fucking good.

to my brain: i go to work earlier now. let me get some fucking sleep, for once.

to the dickhole in the white explorer on i-65 north this morning: real smooth, dickwad. run up behind me and ride my ass, whip around me and then cut me off, just to go slower than i was. you're a class act. i hope you choke on a dick and die.

to my stomach: stop hurting me, you sadistic little sonofabitch.

to the idiot customers that call this place: broadband internet is not going to make your piece of shit windows 98 computer run any faster. word will not magically start opening faster. if it takes you close to an hour to get your computer booted up, broadband will not fucking help you. you may as well catch up with the future and buy a new computer. or kill yourself. either option is fine.

i think that's enough bile for one day…