where to begin?

the last week at work has been rather… interesting, to say the least. the roosters are crowing while the little chicks and hens are just kind of nervously clucking and hopping about. top that off with my aforementioned bout with near-deathly illness (that being a rather nasty head-cold), by the time friday rolled around, i was ready to just kind of kick back and enjoy the weekend. i got an invitation from some co-workers to go out and wind down with a little drinkage after the workday, and, for once, had actually agreed (if somewhat reluctantly) to go. so, 10 minutes before i'm getting ready to head out, brian finally pops up on AIM, and i tried to find out if he and paul had any immediate plans for the evening of which i should be made aware. in other words, if they were actually planning on going out and doing something fun, i was going to ditch my work buddies and tag along with my homies. if, on the other hand, it was friday business-as-usual–no defined plans, except just taking the night as it comes–i'd go ahead and get my drink on with the corvus crowd.

so, here i am, wanting only one thing — a definitive answer as to whether or not he and paul had anything planned. what i got was some half-baked crap about "having something good planned" for me specifically, and that i would "definitely like it." i'm not sure if they could tell by my snappy responses, but i was actually getting very frustrated at them for being so damned evasive. i got this vague idea in the back of my head that maybe this had something to do with sharon, as i vaguely recalled some conversation we'd had almost a month ago about the possibility of her coming through town in the near future. and also, i figured that both brian and paul know how much she means to me, and that she'd pretty much be the only person for whom i'd consider changing my plans. their mutual assertions that it would be "worth it," and paul's "trust me," pretty much cinched it for me. (of course, i think that until they read this, they're still under the impression that i was completely hoodwinked.)

and sure enough, moments after i got home (having noticed that the front door was suspiciously unlocked), who should come up the stairs but sharon herself, in all her radiant beauty. i don't know how many of you have ever actually had a "frown turned upside down" in the space of two heartbeats, but i can authoritatively say that it does happen. we spent the next few hours just hanging out and talking, having a good time. i finally got to meet the boyfriend that i've heard so much about, and having met him and gotten to know him a little, i have to grudgingly give him my approval. well, you know, not that that really matters. but it's like i told him as they were leaving… "you better take good care of her, 'cause i don't want to have to hurt you."

sharon and i shared a couple whiskey shots, chased with some really flat coke (which, i realized, is one way that i can actually do whiskey shots, lord help us) and chatted briefly down in the kitchen, before rejoining the rest of the boys upstairs. all in all, it was a low-key visit, but a very welcomed one. i'm always happy to talk to sharon, and obviously so much happier to actually get to see and spend time with her. but i'm greedy, i wish she (yes, and grant as well) could have stayed a little longer, hung out, maybe had a big crazy night drinking, bowling, and carrying on. maybe we'll be able to do that when i go visit them in sunny cali. we'll go show those little hollywood bums how to really party.

well, this has been a rather pleasant weekend (plus Monday). sometime friday my federal tax return finally posted to my account (thank god for e-file and direct deposit!) probably making this occasion the one time in my life where i've actually been pleased with our "government." of course, i still think income taxes should be done away with in favor of a federal sales tax, but that's another topic for some other forum.

my plans all along (since figuring out that i would be coming out of the tax season much better off than paul, who unfortunately had to pay taxes this year) have been to utilize this bounty to considerably improve my financial state by paying off all the various and sundry little petty debts i'd gotten myself into over the course of the past two years. little things like unpaid doctor bills, vet bills, cd club subscriptions, etc. all told, it amounted to a little less than $700 of debt, so i've not been doing as badly as some, but i'd never been able to catch up long enough to actually take care of these things. well, now that i've had this groovy tech job for almost a year, and have gotten rid of one deadbeat roommate and replaced him with two lesser deadbeat roommates (sorry, brian, couldn't resist… brian's actually the only one of the two new ones to be fully paid up), i've actually been able to place myself on a little firmer financial footing. all our bills are being paid on time, and once the newest roommate pays up, i'll be doing much better. SO, i'm out of debt. which, as brian would say, is what we'd call a "good thing."

i'm on a bit of a high right now, having just phoned the last collections agency that i was concerned about and finding out that… somehow, outside the bounds of my memory, my account with them had been paid in full back in 1997. i don't recollect it, but i sure don't mind finding it out four years later!

top that off with the fact that i'm planning to head out to a local computer retailer today to pick up a secondhand Dell branded sony trinitron monitor for the low low price of $168.00, and coupled with the fact that i've just purchased a 256MB stick of RAM for this fabled machine i'm planning to build in the next couple months, and you can understand my elation. i may, finally, have a system i can actually use to do the types of stuff i like to do. a machine that won't complain when i run more than three programs at the same time. a machine with which i might just be able to take over the world. oh, wait, i'm still going to be running windows, aren't i?

anyway, enough gloating. suffice to say, right now, this matt is a happy camper.

as in, "i reckon that'll work…"

of course, if you were really observant yesterday, you'd have noticed that i made the last post around 3:30 AM… so, despite the fact that i was almost falling asleep at the wheel on the drive home from work on Friday, i ended up staying up until almost 4 in the morning.

it's been a pleasant day today. got up around 1 or 1:30, went out for lunch at KFC, then ran over to compusa primarily for kicks, but also so i could buy this year's version of TurboTax deluxe, and so Paul could debate buying a new computer. Well, he didn't, but i did manage to get my software, and picked up a new webcam for 30 bucks, to boot. Though Paul didn't get his computer, he did get approved for a credit card thing, so (looking at it one way) he walked out of the store $2400 dollars richer than when he'd walked in.

we came back to the house and i started trying to set up the web cam. it gave me some weird problems trying to install and update the software, but i finally got it working. then, i tried to change a simple little option in the controls of the software, and it locked up. in fact, it pretty much locked up the computer every time i stopped using the camera. so, when i'd exit the program, it'd lock up the computer. i even tried a different webcam program, and it had the same problem. so, needless to say, i'm taking the damn thing back tomorrow and trying a different cam. (if you're interested, the first and only pic that actually made it onto the site is here

while i was busy fighting with the webcam, paul was apparently busy convincing himself to buy the computer he'd looked at. he and brian went back out to compusa, and about an hour and a half later, the puffin came back with a kick ass new Sony VAIO. his new machine kicks brian's and my machine's combined ass. after setting it up, we debated for an hour or so (as we played around with it) about whether or not we wanted to strip that Windows ME crap off there and put on some Win2k. We finally decided that we couldn't stand the thought of a machine actually running ME on a regular basis, so we ended up reformatting the hard drive. and since then (almost 6 in the evening) brian and paul and i have been diligently working to bring the new beast to full working order. i've had fun, but now, it's time for bed.

oh, and don't forget the contest.

i have the most awesome sister in the world. i'm having a bad day today, actually took a half-day off work since i was feeling very ill, and when i get home, i find a package waiting on my doorstep. my sister bought me a little item from my wishlist for no real reason other than she just wanted to. my sis is the best.

oh, and if you didn't follow that link to my sister's blog, follow that one. she's been doing better than me on the updating thing, and she's only been at it a couple weeks. so far, her posts have been insightful and informative about some of her adventures living and working in Paris.

so i ended up taking a half-day, coming home and crashing out from like 1:30pm to 6:48 or something. i woke up sweating like crazy, probably because i'd managed to fall asleep IN my bathrobe under all the covers and blankets, and i actually woke up holding the blankets up to my chin… i do not like being sick. i'm probably going to end up taking tomorrow off as well, if my present condition is any indicator of how i'll be feeling in the morning. besides, i've been wanting to take an extra day off, and now that the new corvus site has finally launched, i can relax a little bit… until we start on phase 2 anyway.

i'm suddenly craving orange juice… but i think i'll just go have a cigarette. gotta treat the body right, ya know.

well, not much going on 'round here the past few days. did have a good time dragging paul around for his birthday celebration on Saturday, taking him to the Irish Rover (twice in one week for me, but i'm not complaining in the least), then to a really really crappy movie (antitrust). after the movie we went to one of our local semi-frequent haunts, the mag bar, but unfortunately paul wasn't feeling too well and we decided to call it a night early.

sunday was a pretty low-key day, paul and brax and i went to see traffic, which was (thankfully) a really good movie. didn't do much beyond that, as i said, it was a pretty low-key night.

i am extremely excited though, and i'm on the verge of just completely and totally geeking out, probably tomorrow or thursday. finally, after wanting one for almost 8 years now, i've purchased an Amiga 1200. so, after retiring my old trusty Amiga 500 a couple years ago, and being forced to use substandard, outdated Windows machines since, i'll finally have a useable Amiga computer on my desk. i realize probably no one could give a shit, but hey, for me, it's fucking exciting.

it's amazing to me how just a few little words from the right person can brighten a day so much.

a very dear friend of mine has recently bloggerized her online journal, and her latest entry contains an excerpt from one of my most recent emails. aside from her compliments, which are humbly accepted, the thing that meant the most to me, the thing that brought a smile to my face and warmed my heart, was when she called me "dear."

this girl means so much to me. she is the love of my life, the one woman who to this day, if she were simply to ask, could prompt me to drop everything and go to be with her. she is the holy grail of my arthurian crusade. (and if you think i'm going a little off the deep end and risking freaking her out, don't you worry your little heads none–she's heard all this before… and much more) despite the fact that our time together came and went a long time ago, i value her friendship most of all.

well, back from the ol' homestead and haven't had enough of a moment since my return to do an update. almost as soon as i returned on Saturday night, i went out with Paul & Brax, and had a bit of an adventure.

on the home front though, to complete the story of my recent visit, Friday was political discussion day. dinner rolled around and mom provoked the whole thing. dad had been amazingly quiet about the emails we'd exchanged ( read them here: first email & second email ) and only my mom & my little brother had talked to me about them. well, after mom brought it up, then it started. i think dad & I were talking for about an hour and a half, not really making any progress at all, just talking around each other's arguments. we pretty much covered everything. he's a pretty stubborn man, and i conceded a few points to him in the hopes that he'd realize i wasn't arguing just to argue and ignoring my logic on that basis.
      i was disappointed by my father's selfishness and narrowmindedness. he's a very intelligent, thoughful man–generally–and i hold him in high esteem. but the struggles that he has had to face in his life, from the time he was a little boy growing up in the "hollers" of virginia, while building his character and intellect to such an enviable level, have also contributed to and molded this mindset that prevents him from automatically thinking of others (far removed from himself) before himself. his arguments were pretty much all concerned with the immediate impact of some of the ideas that–of necessity–must be considered for their long-term advantages or the advantages they will provide to others who may not currently have them.

thankfully our talk(s, eventually) never grew to the argument stage, but i think we both got flustered at some points when we thought the other was just not listening or understanding. it's frustrating to attempt to explain these abstract concepts you've got buzzing around your head, to not be able to sufficiently explain them with the language we're given. hell, i run into that all the time here on this weblog.

overall, i had a wonderful weekend with my folks and little brother (who ain't so little anymore–he's 13 and his shoes are only a half size smaller than mine… ). much more pleasant than i'd thought it might be. sometimes, though, i think my dad just puts up with my shit because he knows it would break my mom's heart if we were to truly have some kind of split. don't think i've written about my relationship with my dad here, perhaps that'll be a subject for a different time.

      in other news

www.mchawking.com has updated finally and have a new song by that hip-hop master–MC Stephen Hawking. The new song e=mc hawking isn't quite as good as the previous tunes, but still worth a listen. If you've not visited the site before, my two favorite songs would have to be entropy, and fuck the creationists. where else are you going to get a healthy dose of humor, hip-hop, and theoretical physics in one go? nowhere, baby, let me tell you.

well, i'm at home now. thankfully i had enough foresight to find out the 800 number for my ISP before leaving the 'ville, so i can post for all you lovely people to read.

enjoyed the ride down immensely, what with the new MP3 CD player I got and all. it's a little quirky, but it does well enough i suppose. earlier today i scoured through my mp3s on my computer at work and pulled out just enough to fill a cd, which i think came out to about 165 songs. slammed them all into the root directory of the disk, deleted the track numbers from their filenames, and pretty much wrote them to the cd in alphabetical order. the funny part was that, with the player set on random, the first hour was pretty much Billy Idol, Liz Phair, Chris Isaac, Beastie Boys, NIN, & Bloodloss, then when i see the first signs for Princeton, it suddenly becomes Kid A time. three songs from Kid A–almost consecutively–played me in on the last leg from the parkway to my parent's house. i was excited and amused by how appropriately the mood was set. another funny observation i made was that, despite the number of Mudhoney tracks on the disc, i don't recall any getting played. apparently hour four would have been Mudhoney hour if the trip had lasted that long.

walked into the house, gave my mom and my little bro a hug, then pretty much just submitted myself to my brother's always animated discussions. i see a lot of myself in him, and then there are other things that he's not managed to avoid like i did when i was his age. i walk back into his bedroom (which used to be mine, ages ago.) and hear Hank Williams, Jr. playing on his stereo. i informed him that i was going to take him to Wal-Mart (the only thing that passes for a record store in these parts–that i'm aware of) and buy him a cd or two. i've decided that Kid A is at the top of my list. (paul will love to hear this.)

after somewhat settling in, we set up the laptop, logged on, chatted with brian (& paul, very briefly) for a bit, started doing some remote setup of the new x:13 server (soon, soon), and had what was basically a warm-up round of political discussions with my little bro… a mini version of the large discussion/argument i'm likely to have with my father tomorrow night after all the guests leave. thankfully, my brother's only 13, and still has quite a few years to figure things out.

happy smallpox and genocide day to all you turkey (& mock turkey) eaters out there.

g'night.

i think i may have a new monkeywrench convert on my hands. brian really seemed to enjoy the show as much as i did.

for those of you who don't know, the monkeywrench fucking rock. that's all there is to it. i was concerned since i thought the latest monkeywrench album Electric Children didn't rock quite as hard as Clean as a Broke Dick Dog… boy was i wrong. they brought so much out of those songs it was just amazing.

we had a great time earlier (before the show) hanging out with nanette who showed us around chicago a bit before we had to go to the show. looking forward to spending some more time with her tomorrow seeing sights and hopefully doing some (cheap) fun stuff. it really sucks that i had to spend all my money on my car, but, i suppose if i hadn't, we might not be here right now. luckily brian's got a buck or two, so we should be alright. if our luck holds out (it's been pretty good so far this trip) we'll have a place to stay tomorrow night that doesn't require money–if nanette can swing it for us. right now, my primary concern is finding our way out of chicago, to a hotel, and getting some damn sleep. i was so tired & hungry before we had dinner with nanette that i was starting to get dizzy. that doesn't happen too often.

there'll be more to write about, we're attempting to keep a trip log of some sort, so we'll probably have a lengthy update when we get back home.

gah. gotta get outta here. need sleep.

seems like brian's been admirably picking up my slack around here, updating bipolar on a regular basis while i've been busy doing a bunch of nothing.

first off, thanks to the executors of the Sebastian Stirling estate for their birthday well-wishes, all the more meaningful considering their recent loss.

i've certainly had a decent birthday. can't complain too much. yesterday, i had my 90 day evaluation at Corvus and got a raise! if that doesn't make for a decent birthday, i don't know what does.

spent most of the day today lounging around the house in my bathrobe, as I like to do, surfing the web, pricing new computers. looks like i'm going to end up going the sony VAIO route. and as brian said, "they made the PlayStation 2, how can you go wrong?"

had a good dinner and good beer with good friends at the irish rover (with no horrible bitch waitress in sight), and afterwards went to the hideaway saloon with brian and proceeded to drink two more pints and play some really bad drunken pool.

and finally, i told you all that stuff partly to avoid thinking about this–
she didn't remember. not that i'm surprised, mind you, but after i, on her birthday, and after not having spoken to her in like 4 or 5 months, wrote her a letter and made the effort to rekindle at least a friendship of some sort, i had kind of hoped that she would. i guess she's too busy being the little queen bee, having all her little drones buzzing around her (-like i used to do-), and doesn't have time to remember the birthday of the person she keeps assuring is her best friend in the world. agh. enough of that.

i am a happy person, see :^)

**update 12/17/2004** signaldrench is no more, now there's newartillery