this is the email i just sent to the rally's hamburger company about the disgusting lettuce i found on my sandwich yesterday:

Hello,

Thank you for your time,
J. Brian Hall.

i'm reading it and thinking i wasn't nearly as harsh as i should have been. i went for the intelligent, point-making approach, for once. damn it. matt can vouch for my usual level of antagonistic corporate terrorism…

i must be getting soft…

regardless, my stomach still hurts. i'm stuck at work and contemplating a similar letter to skyline chili, in a bit. it's a sad day when simple food becomes your worst enemy…

i really should learn to heed the warnings. when i climb out of bed to a shitty day like today, i really should learn to just crawl back into bed and hide. try to sleep it off. but nope…being the idiot i am, i go ahead and go out and face my day, thinking "it can't get any worse than that, now can it?"

yes. yes it can.

after getting what's left of my heart crushed to tiny little pieces, i opted to head out and get some lunch. since i was on a pretty slim timeline and limited to the money i had in my wallet, i decided to grab a chicken sandwich combo from rally's. so i munch on the fries on the way back into work, saving the sandwich for when i don't have to juggle steering and shifting gears. so..once i finally got back to work, i trudged up to my desk and proceeded to tear into the previously mentioned sandwich. after a few bites, i noticed the most disgustingly slimy and brown piece of lettuce i've ever seen hanging off of my sandwich. as i'm staring at this disgusting spectacle (imagine that cartoonish slowing of chewing), i bite into what can only be an onion. at that point, i rip the top off the sandwich to find that the entire thing is covered in this sick ass, rotted looking lettuce. and onions! ii fucking hate onions! and they are not a normal topping for these chicken sandwiches (i should know…i practically lived off the fuckers when they were only $.99). i was enraged, but i was all the way back to work, by this time, meaning i just had to sit there and take it like a chump (that feeling had already been hanging out since i got up).

i've been feeling nauseous ever since eating that fucking sandwich. seriously. sick nauseous. not like a "that was so gross i'm gonna puke" nauseous, but one that actually comes from eating bad food.

i spent the rest of the day at work, drinkin sprite and trying not to heave my guts out.

and then i got home. i sat around for a while, still not feeling too great. until about an hour ago, when i realized if i didn't eat something else, i was going to be even more sick.

so i ran and grabbed some skyline through the drive-thru. black beans and rice. a dish you cannot fuck up, in my opinion.

i was wrong…so wrong…

let's say, right off the bat, that the rice in the previously mentioned "black beans and rice" isn't supposed to be crunchy. shit…cooked rice isn't supposed to be crunchy, period ("crisped" rice not included). i felt like i was eating black beans and teeth. and…my stomach feels even worse than it did before i ate.

lesson?

i should have stayed in fucking bed.

fuck. this really, really hurts.

my day is shit. it's barely noon. my day was shot to hell before 9:30am.

the details are really unimportant, i guess. nothing i could say about my situation would come out as either intelligent or witty, so at this point, i think i'll keep my mouth shut.

other than that, i'm sucking on the corporate starbucks (not deserving a link) teat, just because it's close to work. i bought a piece of carrot bread stuff that i'm not even certain i'll eat. i am hungry, but i don't have much of an appetite.

i may or may not be getting sucked into going to cmj this year. this would make my second trip to new york in less than a month. considering i'd never been there before my trip to see radiohead, this seems a little odd. and exciting. and thank god i don't have to drive, this time.

maybe i'll get lucky and some mole person will shove me in front of an oncoming subway train.

who am i kidding?

you'll always mean the world to me.

i've come to the (not so) startling revelation that all i've been listening to lately is neurosis. huge neurosis kick. i just recently got my hands on a copy of times of grace mixed with the tribes of neurot companion cd grace. it's simply amazing, to say the least. i recommend you try listening to them together.

note to self: stop being so frustrated.

i wish it were that easy, you know? i feel like i'm on auto-pilot, most of the time, just cruising through my day, hoping something better will happen. because, honestly, nothing good has happened in a while. i should be one of the happiest guys on earth, i guess. i have a good car for the first time in my life (its novelty has worn off). a good paying job (that i'm growing to hate). i met the most wonderful girl ever to walk the planet a few months ago (and now i can't get her to give me the time of day). i have my health (except for the fact that i was sick to my stomach yesterday). what more could i really ask for? see my instant rebuttals.

ho hum.

my barista had to make my coffee twice, this morning. he got it all the way done and then said "shit. i just made that like an iced mocha. i don't think you want half shots and 90 degree milk." i gave him an appeciative look and said "no thanks." he instantly went about making me a fresh one. when i finally took a sip of it on the way to the car, i noticed it was still a litle weak, but it was nice and warm, so i couldn't complain. and the weak thing was probably just in my head because of the whole prior mix-up.

and now i'm hungry as all hell. still at least an hour and a half off from my lunchtime, so i get to sit here and snack on bullshit like mini oreos. it happens. no wonder my stomach hates me.

when will it ever end?

how do you convince yourself to stop? your heart gets involved and no matter how hard you try, you still want the things you've been wanting all along.

it sounds so easy to take a step back. be friends. lay off. let it ride past. don't let it bother you.

but it bothers me. what bothers me is the finality. and this turns me into a broken record.

i mean…i can't even talk or write about it anymore. my head has just become such an unintelligible mish mash of hurt and longing that it's ridiculous.

i try to make sense of it, and then i realize that there is no sense to be made. "get over it" they say. "move on." well…i may have mentioned that i'm finding it nearly impossible to turn my back on the one girl who has ever completely blown me away on all the levels that this one has. i don't know that i can ever win in this situation. it's frustrating as hell. for all that i've ever mattered to someone, i just want to believe that i have a fighting chance.

i've attacked the borders of france with croissants.

i've wished on stars, even saying please.

i've admitted fault. i've taken blame.

i've said everything i can, a hundred times over.

and i'm still left wishing you'd come back.

today has been one of the most absolutely boring days of my life. i slept in and wallowed around the house, not even getting a shower until around 2pm. i went out for lunch at…where the fuck did i go? uhh…oh yeah…mark's feed store, and then headed next door to the record store to pick up the new neurosis cd. i don't really eat at mark's feed store much, anymore. i used to eat there all the time when i was dating this one girl, but i have only been back a handful of times in the 2 or 3 years since that blew apart.

ladies and gentlemen…too much explanation for my lack of eating at the bbq place.

the new neurosis is amazing, as usual. another steve albini recording. i guess they've finally found a producer that can stand toe to toe with their epic music. i recommend picking it up. hey…everyone has to scratch that insane metal-edged itch every now and then. not that they're really metal, mind you…they're just really dark and really heavy, for those not in the know. i personally think that their album through silver in blood is the soundtrack to the apocalypse. but what do i know?

doing my part to make lauren garrison famous. i don't think i really want to know where the title "princess cornbread" came from, but i think we can all freely admit: lauren garrison is a very cute girl. what other reason does she need to be famous?

so earlier today i took a nap just because i didn't have shit else to do. how's that for a fun filled friday night? after i woke up, i sat in front of my computer, browsing a bit, until i got sucked into the ikea website. i guess i was searching for versatile solutions for modern living. i didn't buy anything, but i'll be damned if i didn't see some items and hear myself say things like "hey…that desk is kinda neat. and cheap, too!" god help me…

i am not my fucking khakis.

will the posts never stop?

i just wanted to say…all must bow before tenacious d.

please…heed the warning.

i'm trying out a neat little applet i found on the web. it's a downloadable interface to blogger, using xml, i guess. it's called blogbuddy. if it works…well…this post was written in it. i knew that status.blogger.com page would come in handy someday…

i just had a telemarketer call my house. he asked for someone that doesn't live here. i politely told him he had the wrong number (even though he was the second telemarketer to call in 10 minutes), at which time he asked me what me if my phone number was blah blah blah 8563. i said "nope…8536." he said "ah…so i have the right number but the wrong name. are you in charge of the phone account?" i said "i just told you you have the wrong number and the wrong name." then he asked "well, sir, are you in charge of the phone account?" at this point i was about sick of this guy, so i said simply "no. goodbye." he said "i'll call back later." i informed him that would be a bad idea.

lesson? cats and telemarketers make it nearly impossible to sleep in.

hold. phone ringing again. what do you want to bet it's another parasite?

verdict? a computer calling me telling me this is not a solicitation. yeah. right.

i wanted to sleep in so frickin' bad today, it's ridiculous. so to all you people out there that get to sleep in every day, without fear of cats or telemarketing bloodsuckers waking you every two minutes? i hate you. really.

i really wanted to use "fuck them. fuck them up your stupid asses" but i felt like it was a bit harsh. you'll all know what i'm talking about come friday, anyway…

by the way, in case you haven't noticed, tim redesigned. i'd also like to point out that collapsing has been linking us for a while, but i'm lazy about saying howdy.

enough of that "in circle" blogging bollocks.

this is the best radiohead article i have ever read. hands down.

enough of that "linky" blogging bollocks.

as far as yesterday goes, it only got worse. thanks for asking.

enough of that "personal" blogging bollocks.