2001.05.08 love is a demon, over and over again:
i never got to say goodbye. i called her today to talk. just to talk. i didn't want us to stop communicating totally. i've had too many people drop me like a stone to want to do it again. i did most of the talking. i told her i had some shit of my own to figure out first, but i wanted us to still talk. she eventually agreed to not close the door between us. i don't know if she's just saying that and she'll just eventually avoid me or not, but at least, on the surface, the bridge isn't burned. there's not much of a bridge left after the axis powers bombed it to hell, but it wasn't burned. small consolation.
i know most of you are out there singing sting songs in my general direction…"set them free…" well…sorry. this is a big ol' albatross that i just can't shake.
i went out and bought the new burning airlines cd today. it's pretty damn good, to say the least. it's currently shooting it out with the new unwound for the title of "cd i will listen to like crazy in the car."
matt added the blogcomments thing that he mentioned a few days back. we've been toying around with it. just think…it's like a big unholy pta meeting…everyone gets their say.
jessie said:
hope you are okay.
xo
xxx hj xxx said:
You know, I went through something fairly similar to this once: she wanted to be "just friends," I wanted something more (and I thought that deep down she wanted that, too– she admitted as much on a number of occasions).
After a whole lot of hell (months upon months of screaming matches, ugly scenes, uglier words, too many tears, etc.), eventually in the interest of the mental health of both parties I surrendered. I wrote a letter apologizing and saying that, yes, of course we should just be friends. I got an ecstatically happy letter back; she was so relieved that I had come to my senses and that our six-year friendship could finally go back to normal.
That was the last contact I've had with her in well over a decade.
Not that this is directly related to your own situation, or anything, but your latest entry just got me thinking about it, and since I don't have a blog of my own, I thought I'd infect yours.
Good luck, B. If nothing else, you've made me ever so glad that I'm done with all that. Small comfort, I know, but back then I thought it was the end of the world, and today I'm much better off. Things get better. Honest.