(a drinking story)

I drank half a bottle of rum and a six pack. I don't know why. I showed up at my house at like 3PM and everyone was drunk, throwing beer bottles all over the house. It seemed like a good idea at the time. So, now I'm at work all hungover. My coworkers are all looking at me like "Are you a goddamn drunk?" I'm all like "Nah bitches. Step off."

There's a huge hole in my living room wall too. I don't know how that happened. It might have been a result of our Jump Into The Wall Contest. Landlord is not going to be happy.