so, like paul mentioned over on puffin-a-go-go a post or two ago, he, brax and i went to see a sneak preview (much like brian did monday night…) of "jay & silent bob strike back," double-billed with "the others." it was altogether a great four hour block of movie watching.

i'd have to say that J&SBSB isn't my favorite of the view askew movies, and at this point (prior to a second viewing) it actually comes in third. nah, wait. i don't want to commit to that, i'll have to watch the other contenders again before i can say that. i'm pretty certain that my favorite of all of them is "chasing amy," which, if you take into account my predilection for falling in love with bi-sexual (or even straight-up lesbian) girls, isn't all that surprising. and i've just got this huge thing for Joey Lauren Adams…. boy oh boy. she's incredibly cute, and her voice (which seems to turn many men off after extended exposure) just adds an extra touch of uniqueness and enhances her overall cuteness in my eyes. joey, if you're reading this, i'm a really great guy… call me!

anyway, back to reality. i liked the movie overall (we're back to j&sbsb now, for those of you trying to keep track). there were some places where they went a bit overboard with the going overboard, and a few places where the comedic bits seemed a bit forced. will ferrell was awesome, as usual, but then, so was everyone else. hm. i don't know what else to say, other than that. i'm at a loss… how 'bout this: "it was good."

the others was also quite good. i'd pretty much figured out what was going on (or going to happen) before the midway point i guess (not in the first five minutes, like paul claims…), and was actually able to allow myself be taken by the story. it was told well enough that it did make me doubt the conclusion i'd reached, and i happily followed the director down the path he wished the audience to go. don't worry though, whether you figure it out or not, you'll enjoy it. i didn't really think it was all that "scary," but there were a few pulse pounding seconds here and there. i do believe that at one point, the entire audience hopped about four inches out of their seats…

earlier that evening, after running to pick up brax from work in the general area of the theatre, and having to rush home to get his glasses (pretty much all the way across town, mind you) and still needing to stop for dinner before the films, we decided to stop at a new place called the "blue moon diner." we figured "hey, it's a diner. and not only that, it's a new diner we've never been to." we thought we'd be able to run into this little place, grab a quick cheap meal, and get to the theatre in plenty of time. a word of warning: the blue moon "diner" is not really a diner at all, it only looks like one. this place was fancy, or certainly fancier than we'd expected. they had cloth napkins! what the hell business do cloth napkins have being in a "diner"? the food was a bit expensive, but really really tasty. and, of course, the service was a bit slower than we'd hoped for, but we did still make it to the theatre on time. i think we definitely want to go back there at some point, so that we can appreciate it for what it really is… a restaurant.

blah. well, i was hoping all that stuff would be better than it seems to have come out, but hey, at least i posted, right?

it's late. i know i've said this a hundred times, and i'll probably say it a hundred more, but i have GOT to start getting to bed at a decent hour.

man. these past few weeks just seem like they've been crazier than hell. last week, we had two people in my department out on vacation, and i had a couple projects with some major revisions due at the end of that week. i ended up pulling several 10+ hour days last week… this week i've decided against that. i like to at least be able to pretend to have a real life.

all the various issues with the new server seem to be settling down, and puffin-a-go-go is finally back up and running along with paul himself (email-wise, anyway).

sound's like brian is up there enjoying himself in the big apple. undoubtedly he's enjoying a little radiohead action right about now and becoming the envy of the x:13 design set.

crap. i'd thought i would be able to post a little more than this, but i'm drawing a blank. i've been working. had band practice sunday and tuesday, and got to enjoy a little of paul and neil's playing tonight. we all took a little jaunt over to the caffeine shack and felt like completely lecherous old men as we ogled the cute youthful patrons. this is my life. love it.

i'm really beginning to think i'm cursed. i seem to have some type of effect on things around me that causes them to break or stop working. as i mentioned in my last post, i did a number on my new computer's BIOS chip so that it doesn't boot up at all now. i'm still waiting for that replacement chip… hopefully it'll come in today. well, yesterday, as my other computer (the smaller beastie that's serving up the internet connection for both my (defunct) and paul's machines) was processing the x:13 design web server logs to update our stats pages, something untoward happened and just completely spazzed out the system partition on the hard drive. it was still running and happily serving the internet connection when i got home, but as soon as i attempted a reboot, it wouldn't go through with it. after running scandisk and finding over 21MB of lost data and "fixing" an obscene amount of corrupted files, it still wouldn't boot… surprise, surprise. so, last night i… once again (7th time's a charm, maybe?) began reinstalling windows. i can't wait til the new Amiga motherboard and OS come out. as soon as i'm able, i'll buy two of the fuckers and forever rid myself of this windows CRAP.

to top the night off, brax and i went over to our friend jim's house for band practice (our first in several months… we're such slackers…) and, of course, my guitar has gotten to the point where you just can't tune it properly any more, and if you can, it won't hold it for longer than… oh… two seconds. so, practice was a bust. i guess i'll be going to the guitar shop sometime this week to price a new one and maybe slap some money down on one (assuming my BIOS chip comes in so i can balance my checkbook… aaarrrggghhhh…)

otherwise things are pretty status quo for me, though it sounds like brian had a bit of an adventure with the cat and bug person yesterday. and he asked if i'd like to go see radiohead in New York with him, and i'd love to, but can't really afford it… so it's good that Guy is excited about the possibility and will most likely go.

ah, paul found some pics of the actress who'll be playing the part of the Vulcan in the new Trek series. can anyone say "HOT!"? and actually, i think i'll go ahead and put up my breakdown of the hottie-star-trek-chicks that i laid out for paul the other day. it's interesting to see how, women in star trek, aside from becoming more powerful characters, are also getting better looking with each series. here's the breakdown of the progression: (oh, and this is frequently recurring or main characters only)

Original Series: Uhura, Yeoman Rand
Next Generation: Tasha Yar, Deanna Troi, Beverly Crusher
DS9: Kira Nerys, Jadzia Dax, Ezri Dax
Voyager: B'Elanna Torres, Seven of Nine, Capt. Janeway (hey, she could be pretty hot at times…)

and it's also funny, as paul pointed out, especially since Next Gen anyway, there's always a tough one and a pretty one, though the lines do blur from time to time. Tasha – tough/pretty, Deanna – pretty. Kira – tough/pretty, Jadzia – pretty/tough, Ezri – pretty. B'Elanna – tough/pretty, Seven – pretty/tough.

anyway, that's enough on that topic.

well, so much for that three-day streak, huh? bah.

it seems like a lot has happened since the last post, but i think i mainly didn't post because i was so involved in trying to get my new computer set up properly. when i get involved in a project i tend to get a little too focused. anyway, so nathan (who i mentioned in the last post) came down for a visit with the crew this past weekend and a good time was had by all. i survived another swing of the hatchet at my place of work, and have another new supervisor and a different "team." i'm still doing the same job, it's just names and group affiliations that have changed. as i mentioned, i got that new computer set up, but wednesday night i got really stupid and decided to try to upgrade the motherboard BIOS… this had exactly the opposite effect from what i'd hoped it would have. rather than making my system magically faster and better, it actually made it not work at all. funny, that. anyway, a quick email to the motherboard manufacturer, and i've been assured a new BIOS chip is on the way.

another thing i found out today, from my former supervisor and smoking buddy at work, is that my crush thinks i'm cute! apparently, my supervisor talked to one of her (my crush's) friends about my interest in her (my crush) and that person then told her. apparently, she said something along the lines of "oh, don't you remember, he's the one i told you i thought was cute." and also, apparently, her friend told her that she "needed to do something about" the whole boyfriend thing. who knows, something might come of this after all. i guess this means i'll have to start taking more showers and dressing a little better again. oh, and as i told paul, i'll have to start running again.

here's a list of things i told paul that i needed to either start doing, or stop doing:

1. quit smoking — it really sucks and makes me feel like crap about 85% of the time.
2. quit eating such big meals. — even when i don't intend to, i usually end up getting more food than i technically need, then, because i paid for it, i feel like i have to eat it.
3. start running — self explanatory, considering the above two items.
4. stop waking up — really, if you think about it, waking up is the primary reason that we have bad days. if we didn't wake up, we wouldn't really have a bad day now, would we? that waking up shit is for the birds.

i think that was about it. but now that i'm sitting here, writing this, and my eyes feel like they're burning because i'm tired and they've been open too long, i realize that i need to add one more thing to that list.

5. start getting to bed on time — this might help with the whole waking up thing… perhaps my days would go better if i were more lucid throughout them.

anyway, it's beddybye time. 'night folks.

well, it's been a crazy week so far. things at work have been hectic and chaotic. lots of stuff to do around here, and at times it seems like a lot of it is sliding my way. not that i think i'm the only one doing any work, but it just feels like i have a lot on my plate. combine that with the fact that, once again, i don't seem to be getting enough sleep, and you can understand how frazzled i feel i'm getting.

but, i did get the themes thing finished in a record 3 days, so i feel pretty good about that. also, i've added two (sort-of) new themes, so if you haven't been to the themes page in a couple days, check it out. the low tech theme is just what it says (if you discount all the scripting going on in the background, that is). i've also added a "random" theme, so you can set that and get a different design each time you visit.

wow, all this stuff is coming out a little flat sounding to me… i've been fighting off sleep all day at work… ugh. i'm supposed to be going running with paul tonight, but i think i'm going to just go home and rest. maybe read a little. maybe just sleep.

ah. i did something very high-schoolish a few days ago. i went to talk to the secretary at work, to sign a get well card for one of my co-workers, and while i was there, asked her what she knew about jenny (the girl i have a crush on). it was funny how her (the secretary's) eyes lit up and she had this big grin on her face. well, turns out she does have a boyfriend, but the secretary isn't sure how serious they are. her advice: "give it a few weeks." i'm still not sure what to think about this whole thing. i mean, should i even bother?

but this kind of ties into some of these conversations i've been having lately. women are asking me, "why aren't you dating anybody?" "you're a handsome guy, you should have a girlfriend." and of course, then i have to tell them about how picky i am, and how shy i am, and how really, at this point (due to the fact that i've put on a few pounds in the last year or so) i'm just not comfortable enough with how my body looks, to actually go up and seriously talk to someone i'd like to date. that's part of the reason for this big exercise kick i've been on (ie. i'm actually exercising for the first time in years), i have to get comfortable with myself, before i can expect anyone to be comfortable with me.

ok. but no exercising tonight. tonight is rest night, tonight is early bedtime night.

gah. i am such a putz. i have no game whatsoever. none.

the girl here at work that i've got a crush on was out having a cigarette break when me and my buddies were out there, and when she left she left her lighter and smokes where she was sitting. my group manager picked 'em up and brought 'em to me. stuck 'em in my pocket and basically told me that it was up to me to return them to her. he said that she "left them on purpose."

so, what do i do when i find her, i walk up to her with the cigarettes held in front of me like a shield. her response, "oh, did i leave those? i guess i was in a hurry to get out of here." i think i paused for a half-second after she said "thank you," and i'd said "you're welcome." then i turned around and walked back up the stairs. so much for that opportunity.

guess i'll have to locate those balls i seem to have misplaced. i know they're around here somewhere.

meanwhile, thousands of miles away from the hall of justice, our hero's gentle chiding seems to have paid off. the lovely sharon has posted not once, but twice. and, she's also gotten a comments feature set up as well. s'funny cause just the other night, brian was telling me "hey, we should try to put dotcomments or blogvoices or something on our site" (which, of course, doesn't mean we at all, but me). well, it's an interesting idea, perhaps i'll get to it when i have a spare moment.

oh, and my sister has officially laid claim to all my "cool" stuff in the event of my death. hate to tell ya sis, but i don't think paul's going to be able to kill me with a little weekly run. now, if he tried to make me run for two hours straight, then yeah, we might have a problem. but i think i'm doing pretty well, considering i haven't exercised on any kind of regular basis since like '92.

well, another day goes by without revealing myself to my crush. of course, my manager also revealed some information he'd dug up unbeknownst to me, but on my behalf. she apparently "has a boyfriend," but would "be interested" to hear that i'm interested in her. what exactly the hell all this means, i don't know. the big question would be, do i have a shot, or not. why the hell would i even approach a girl who has a boyfriend? do i want another female friend? no, not necessarily. i'm quite happy with the friends i have, and they're hard enough to manage (that's in a good way, guys). i don't need another. i'm definitely looking for more than a friend.

ah well, i'll work up the courage eventually. i hope.

well, it seems our server is having some troubles lately. the main reason i decided to switch x13 to a commercial server space was so we could get more consistent service and uptime. so much for that. luckily, the web server itself has been operational more often than the rest of the service we're paying for… the FTP has been up and down for the past several days. we're investigating our options.

This past weekend was fairly enjoyable. friday night paul and brian took it upon themselves to "medicate" me in hopes of curing me of the cold i've been fighting the past week. the night before, i went to the "healthy" burrito place (Qdoba, on bardstown road… and well, it's healthier than La Bamba's) where i proceeded to completely soak each bite of the burrito in lovely lovely tabasco in hopes that it would help "burn" the infection right out of me. as you can imagine, by the end of the meal, i was sweating like a pig, with a big grin on my face. but back to Friday… now, for nearly five years, i've had this aversion to whiskey as a result of a bad night with a bottle. couldn't even stomach the smell of the stuff. i've been trying, over the course of the past year or two, to regain my ability to stomach it, since i like(d) it so much more than beer. as far as i'm concerned, beer is piss water–any kind of beer. and, you have to drink so much of it to get any effect, you end up feeling bloated and uncomfortable by the end of the night, which kind of defeats the purpose of getting drunk.

anyway, brian and paul got this idea that they could give me whiskey to fight my cold. they lined up three shots for me. a regular, a kind of regular +, and a double. they expected me to drink this. number 1 went down fine (followed quickly by some mountain dew), number two went down not quite so fine. i stared at number three for a while contemplating the wisdom in shooting versus sipping. i went out on the back porch for a smoke. i decided sipping was about the only thing i could handle, as my gag reflex was fully prepped and ready to go were i to even attempt to shoot the last one. funny thing is, i barely got a buzz. normally, three shots of whiskey would have made me loopy… i'm afraid this may NOT be a good thing.

i won't go into more details of the night (paul & brian were both much worse off than i was, to say the least) but all in all it was a fun night of walking, completely f'ed up, up and down bardstown road (and spending half the time on back roads for reasons of paranoia).

yesterday was a nice day at work. not once, but twice i got an eye-contact/smile/wave/"bye" combo from the cute girl at work. i've been digging on her for months now, but i can't seem to get the nerve up to ask her out. i'm too much of a shy guy, and don't know what to say in those situations. i just know, as soon as i walk up to her, i'm going to feel like a complete moron. a maroon. ah, well. i'll figure it out eventually. oh, and one of the guys at work is threatening to reveal my secret, or force me into a situation. his threat earlier today was to page her over the intercom and use MY number. the fact that i'm a foot taller and 100 pounds heavier than him doesn't seem to dissuade his eagerness for subterfuge.

finally, for those of you who enjoyed the pics of capeboy, here's a couple more now that amiga.org is back up.

unfortunately, i still haven't been able to find a good pic of the cute amiga girl, but if i do, i'll let ya know!

alright, now that the internet's working, our servers are up, and i've gotten some free time, i'll finally write the post-Amiga-convention update you've all been waiting for.

of course, paul pretty much covered the majority of it already, but i suppose i have a few things to add.

the drive up was thankfully uneventful, though we did have to stop a few times for strong coffee. as we came into St. Louis, we started following the directions we'd gotten from mapquest.com. We pulled off I-270, and saw in front and off to the right of our exit ramp, the hotel that i was pretty sure was the one in which we'd be staying. despite the hotel's location, the driving directions said to turn left. we followed it left, right, up a big hill, and to the right again, where we came to the literal end-of-the-line. a big metal guard-rail was spanning the abrupt end of the road we were on, looking out over I-270. we cracked a few jokes about mapquest trying to heighten the sense of adventure for travelers, and i suggested that it was possible, if he built up enough speed, we might be able to make it over 6 lanes of divided expressway and the banks on either side to land in the parking lot that sittingly off in the hazy distance. he decided not to put alice (his car) up to that test, as she'd just had a hard day of driving and needed a rest.

at the convention, we found the typical assortment of rather large, mustache wearing, long stringy-haired people… the types of people you'd expect to find at a star trek convention. in fact, these people and their fanaticism are partly why i've never bothered to go to a meeting of the local Amiga user group. i had my fill of those types during my tenure as president of the star trek fan club in Murray. (ooh, there's a good bit of history for ya.) now, looking around on the web after the convention, i'd managed to locate a few images of the people there who were "out-there" enough for paul & i to actually give them names. unfortunately, amiga.org has been overwhelmed by visitors searching for show news and have been shut down by their hosting company for exceeding their transfer limits. after more searching, i was finally able to find a pic or two of capeboy. as soon as amiga.org comes back, i'll introduce you to funnypants guy and amiga grrl, and maybe the amiga girl we actually thought was fairly attractive, but who, of course, neither one of us talked to.

also, as paul stated, we spent the majority of saturday drinking the free beer, walking around the exhibit hall floor making fun of 85% of the people there. oh, and of course, there were the several hours i spent drunkenly struggling over whether or not to purchase that almost $300 worth of equipment, or to save my money and be able to eat this week. well, i ended up stalling long enough to not have to make that decision, so i purchased almost $100 worth of software as a consolation — not like i could go to an Amiga convention and come back empty handed!

so, day one saw paul & i drunk for the majority of the day, and one the free beer ran out, we went to the bar next door to "top off."

day two was a little more laid back, considering paul's difficulty recovering from the previous day's sleep-deprived drunkenness, and the return of his cold. we decided (for paul's sake) not to stay for the entire day of the conference, partly because he wasn't feeling well, partly because he wanted to get home to watch x-files, and partly because we'd already seen everything in the exhibit hall at least 20 times the day before. i went to a couple more seminars, and stalled my purchase until around 2:30 or 3, then we took off for home.

ok, well, this has gone on too long. suffice it to say, i had an enjoyable weekend, and i really appreciate puffin offering his services as chauffer and body-guard for the trip.

and finally, in reference to the whole spider-girl thing, marvel announced today that spider-girl will NOT be canceled. so, if you guys actually wrote in at my prompting, i'd just like to say thanks, you've helped save one of my favorite books.

it's amazing to me how just a few little words from the right person can brighten a day so much.

a very dear friend of mine has recently bloggerized her online journal, and her latest entry contains an excerpt from one of my most recent emails. aside from her compliments, which are humbly accepted, the thing that meant the most to me, the thing that brought a smile to my face and warmed my heart, was when she called me "dear."

this girl means so much to me. she is the love of my life, the one woman who to this day, if she were simply to ask, could prompt me to drop everything and go to be with her. she is the holy grail of my arthurian crusade. (and if you think i'm going a little off the deep end and risking freaking her out, don't you worry your little heads none–she's heard all this before… and much more) despite the fact that our time together came and went a long time ago, i value her friendship most of all.

ok, here's a reduced calorie version of the post i attempted to make the other day.

( or, the story of the year 2000 )

other things that happened pre-bipolar:

started the year in the arms of a beautiful woman, who i ended up falling in love with, and who ended up leaving me a couple months later.
lost my job of two years at the local bookstore, because of my own negligence.
spent two months off work, before breaking down and taking the Kinko's job (around the time of bipolar's first month).

so, now it's a new year, i've got the perfect job, and i'm making good money. hopefully this year will be a little better than the last.