so, Jan 2002 was the last time i did a year end recap post, and i've kicked myself every time i've forgotten. so, here goes…

setting the tone for a large percentage of the posts to follow (and the year to follow, natch.), my first post of 2004 (even worse than this one, at 17 days after the new year) jumped headlong into politics and razzing george w., and also mentioned some stuff about the gallery scripts, both of which practically became an obsession for me.

also, i think this was the first year where i've managed to post only once a majority of the months out of last year.

anyway, some major events happened this year, the first of which was deciding (not that i had to think very hard about it) to ask my girlfriend of 1.5 years to be my wife, then throwing down the bones for a ring.

of course, no sooner had i bought the ring, than my boss at work called me in to tell me the place was shutting down. luckily, i landed a new job before the last one was over, so i had something to come back to upon return from the trip to France Sara & i had been planning.

we left for France on schedule, me with a diamond ring hidden–wrapped in paper, taped to a fob on my keychain–so it wouldn't get lost with or stolen from the luggage, and so she wouldn't find it if she were to rummage through my carry-on. we had a first day in Paris that ranged from great to horrible, then woke up fresh-faced the next day ready (well, except that she didn't know about it yet) for the event that would alter our lives in subtle and profound ways. in the afternoon, i rummaged through my backpack for the ring, dropped to a knee, and asked her to marry me. of course, she said yes.

after this event, life carried on–settling into the new job, more politics, more gallery scripts, helping her cope with school, adjusting to the idea of being married, making wedding plans, making other future-oriented plans, looking for houses, talking about finances/money/retirement savings (sheesh). i'm startin' to feel all growed-up.

then of course, there was the travesty we called an Election…

and now Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year as well. it's time to hunker down and make preparations for tomorrow. time to think about the things we want in life, the things we can have, and how to correlate the two. don't make resolutions, just do what needs to be done, do what you enjoy, and do the best you can for yourself and others. none of us are at the mercy of our surroundings, rather, it's the other way around. grab hold of yourself and make this year a better one than the last. call up a friend, go to a movie, bake yourself a cake, quit smoking, just be happy.

i know that just about every post i write lately seems to center around politics. i guess it's inevitable, since we're in an election year and currently under the rule of the most authoritarian regime this country's ever seen. for someone who said he was going to be a uniter and a champion of the people, he sure seems to have rustled up a massive hornets nest of independents and political apathists (myself included) all now dead-set against him and his party.

see, before "Dubya" charged into power–with the assist from his brother's administration in Florida, and the slam dunk by the Supreme Court–i was largely a non-partisan liberal socialist whose only agenda was that the big people should help the little people, and the large corporations should not be allowed to hurt the little people or wield any type of power over the government or its citizens. for the most part i didn't care about politics, and i was of the firm opinion that my one voice didn't count for much of anything. i didn't bother to vote, or even to learn about the candidates or delve into the issues of the day. i knew from a philosophical standpoint what type of society i wanted, and i knew that the pursuit of *my goals* in the context of this society full of idiots and greedy bastards would be a futile endeavor. so i contented myself with the idea that i could do things better, but without the responsibility (in the face of certain defeat) to attempt to actually attempt to do so.

all this changed when bush was running for president. for the first time, i felt compelled to do a little research and go to the polls to exercise my civic duty. see my post from Nov. 2000 and the two emails linked to from that post it is interesting going back to the stuff written nearly four years ago, especially the passionate political stuff and seeing what and how i was talking about the issues when i was really *just* seriously delving into them. it's also gratifying to note that i still hold the same opinions to this day, pretty much point for point, issue for issue.

i certainly railed against the Democratic party as being too centrist and in the pockets of the large corps. and lobbyists. that's one thing i've been rather pleased to have seen change with the candidates for this year's Democratic nomination–they are more liberal (except Lieberman) and there are at least a couple candidates who are non-career politicians and beholden to no industry or special interest groups (Clark & Sharpton, though Edwards & Dean may meet the latter qualification). and they are all passionately talking about the issues that matter, in no uncertain terms, and making plans that can make a difference.

now, i'm pleased to say that i'd be proud to count my voice among the supporters of most of the potential Democratic nominees, all of whom (except Lieberman, Sharpton, and Kucinich) i think would make great presidents. having studied the issues, the candidates, and their positions and qualifications, i proudly say that i whole-heartedly throw my lot in with see how he stacks up (in my mind), and take an opportunity to get yourself an education while you're at it.

as a side note, of all the people who said they'd enjoy filling out one of the blank score sheets, not a one has actually done so. there's still time, if you want to put yourself through the paces and weigh in. '04 ScoreSheet

now, i was originally going to write this post in response to President Bush's first stump speech of the 2004 election campaign (A.K.A. the State of the Union address). in lieu of that, i'll just mention that i thought it was a huge pile of crap, pandering to his conservative constituents while taking direct adolescent stabs at those who disagree with his opinions and policies (a "uniter" indeed). but rather than attempting to debunk the speech myself and recreate the wheel, i figured i'd let those more qualified point out the more obvious flaws, misleading statements, and outright lies in the State of the Union Speech.
i'll also refrain from doing anything other than mentioning the inappropriate and inapplicable moral and religious grandstanding.

finally, i've been pleased to see Wes Clark (though i strongly support separation of church & state, and am loathe to see anyone in or seeking public office touting their religion, especially touting it over someone else's) answering the long-standing and wholly inaccurate Republican idea that liberals are amoral atheistic people (this is me greatly summarizing the point). it really is time that we liberals stand up and point out that the religions we grew up with preached tolerance, brotherly-love, self-sacrifice, and the obligation of the strong to protect and/or help the weak. It was Jesus who said "Love your neighbor as yourself"(Matt 5:43-8; Lev 19:17-18; Matt. 19:18-19; Matt 22:37-40), "as you do unto the least of these my brethren, so also you do unto me" (Matt 25:40), who healed the leprous though they were outcasts, and who instructed the Apostles to go out and preach his word to the Gentiles though they were considered unclean and less than human. In favoring the rich and powerful over those not so fortunate, and in castigating and denigrating those whose race, gender, or sexual orientation differ, the Republican party takes this country in a direction entirely opposite that which was set forth by the very figure from whom they claim to draw all their inspiration and guidance.

ok, so i meant to save that whole religion thing for another post. oh well. extra fuel for the fire, i guess.

i've gotta say that i'm pretty excited right now. my sister just gave birth to her first baby, my first niece. i haven't been able to talk to her about it yet, since she's in France and 6 hours in the future (and thus most likely asleep already after her certainly grueling day), but i'm excited nonetheless.

my first thought was that i have to get to the baby store and buy something for the little one. i plan to be an uncle of the "spoiling rotten" variety for as long as i can manage. only on occasion will i pull out the "mean as a snake and twice as ugly" uncle role, a part so well played by my own uncle "Red"–a man who, even in his (probably) late 50's to early 60's, still makes me fear the "titty twister," toe yank, ear grab, or good old-fashioned chase-down-bear-hug-tickle-of-death (the tickle-of-death usually consisting of very firm and painful pressure to the ribs and/or large chunks of skin… not so much a tickle as an attempt to break something).

now that was a hell of a sentence. sometimes i surprise even myself.

anyway. i'm excited. i'm an uncle. pictures to follow as soon as they're received.
**Update** as you may've noticed, pictures have been added to the picturebar at the right there, and i've even added 4 *more* pictures since adding the first batch. check out the growing devlin family gallery

now, in other news, i did finally get the pictures from gallery for some shots of the beautiful bride and the reception.

yes, they're a bit dark. i, being a person who generally hates flash photography, neglected to bring my flash along, and the lighting just wasn't up to the task. this was also, of course, before getting my swanky new digital camera.

i also threw up a second new gallery from the same roll of film, this one of my and paul's cats Zoe and Harriet.

last but not least, i finally updated lucifigousprick.com with information about the last show, which, while fun, was also quite frustrating in many ways. more about that later, perhaps, or just go to the site and you can probably piece it together.

well, it was almost inevitable. yet another David vs. Goliath story, with David on the losing end.

Hawley-Cooke Booksellers, that local bastion of independent business for 25 years, the annual Best of Louisville winner, and consistent home away from home for the literate elite, has finally bowed to the pressure of competition against national and multinational chain stores. the sale of Hawley-Cooke to Borders has a kind of circular and poetic logic to it, but that doesn't erase the sting and air of defeat.

i worked at Hawley-Cooke for a little over 2 years, and, despite the lousy pay (at least, 'til i landed the "webmaster" position, for a time), it was one of the best jobs i ever had, and the employees were some of the best people i've ever had the pleasure of working with. in fact, if i hadn't been fired from that job, i'd probably still be there ('cause i'm not entirely sure i could've made myself quit, even in my own best interest, and despite the ire i felt for one of the owners).

the plight of the locally owned business has always been one of those personal soapbox topics for me, and if you get me started, i'll rail for hours against the Wal-Marts, McDonalds, Barnes & Nobles, and Starbucks of the world.

i will accede that there are certain benefits the national chain stores can bring to the table–lower prices, better selection, and potentially better quality (except, of course, in the case of McDonalds who'd put cat shit in a bun and call it a "new taste sensation!"). but the only thing the national chains can't guarantee, and in most cases are not likely to provide, is the level of service and "human element" that the locally-owned business must provide as a matter of survival.

as a locally-owned business, it is imperative that you provide uncompromising service with a human touch, so that your customers will pick your business over the other options. a relationship must be established that will make the customer want to support you despite the convenience or lower prices they might find with a competitor. this is something Hawley-Cooke managed to do for many years, excepting, of course, the occasional lapse, oversight, or grumpy employee. obviously however, sometimes even this isn't enough. and really, there is no other way for a local business to compete against a national chain, and as it's been proven time and again, the people of this nation will over time almost inevitably choose the plastic apple over the slightly bruised–but real–one. hell, even i've gone into Barnes & Noble more than Hawley-Cooke in the past two years, because it's closer to where i work. it's a difficult trap to avoid, and the sinister aspects are well-hidden behind the wood paneling and fancy signage.

there is still at least one "major" (if you count 2 smallish locations as major) independent bookseller in this town, so, the next time you're in a literary mood, seek out the nearest Carmichael's Bookstore and support local business. i can almost guarantee that if they don't have what you're looking for in stock, they can order it for you.

thanks to ben for gently breaking this news to my non-media-consuming ass in the first place, and for the ready-to-steal link to the news article.

well well well. can anyone here say "old habits die hard"? i sure can.

the biggest news since the last "real newsworthy" post is that sharon finally got herself hitched up. the ever-lovely sara and i went down to Princeton for another visit with my family and to go to the wedding. the visit with the family was very nice and laid back, as all good visits to family should be.

saturday evening was the wedding, and sara & i drove down to LBL, specifically Patti's 1880's Settlement, where the ceremony was to take place.

I'd never been to Patti's before, but heard about it quite a bit growing up (though even then the references were vague, as everyone pretty much assumed i'd know what they were talking about… it's the way of things in a rural community.) As you might imagine, Patti's is an approximation of a (significantly romanticized) old-time settlement… bunch of log cabins, flowers growing everywhere, streams flowing, waterfalls falling; pigs, chickens, and turkeys (all in pens, of course); and lots and lots of "antique" crafts and similar merchandise.

the ceremony itself took place in a large gazebo in the center of the "settlement", very elaborately decorated, very beautiful. unfortunately for some, the gazebo was not quite large enough for the assembled guests. i suppose though, that this was probably just a good indicator of how well sharon was loved by the people of the town. sometimes i feel i'll be lucky to get more than 50 (family & friends) at my eventual betrothal.

of course, as some of us know, i'm a complete and total sap, so it should come as no surprise that a couple times during the ceremony i came very near tears. it was very touching, and considering the past, i think i could hardly be happier for anyone than i was for sharon. of course, the most difficult moment was when, while attempting to recite her vows, her voice broke and you could literally hear the weight of her emotions in her voice. that was nearly the end of me. thankfully, sara was there and she managed to hush me up without resorting to pinching, hitting, or dragging me out by my ear.

after the ceremony, we waited for a chance to personally greet & congratulate the bride & groom, and the look of surprise (and happiness) on sharon's face when she finally saw me standing there was very gratifying. it was a very happy moment, to see her again, and to get to introduce her and sara. unfortunately, there were many guests for them to greet still, so we made our way to the back and out. on the way out, we stopped to say hello to the parents, and i have to say… the look of utter surprise on sharon's mother's face was quite entertaining. not only had she not seen me in years, but i'm sure i'm one of, if not the last person she expected to see there that day.

as i said though, the ceremony was lovely, and i'm incredibly glad i got to be there.

afterwards, the reception was held at the KY Dam Village Convention Center. it was an enjoyable time, highlighted by: a 15 minute (or so) slide presentation of sharon and grant growing up and meeting each other; and some crazy dance performed by the groom himself. we had a great time, and managed to get a least a few pictures that i'll hopefully be able to get online here soon.

the rest of the weekend was a bit compressed, as we had to get back to Louisville early in the afternoon on Sunday to get my sister to the airport for her trip back to France. as always it was good to get to see my sister, and to finally get to spend more than just a day with her before she headed back. especially considering that this may've been my only chance to meet the nephew (or niece) before s/he's born. nevertheless, on a least a couple of occasions, the baby gave me a hearty kick of greeting, perhaps to thank me before-hand for all the spoiling it's going to get under my generous uncleship.

this is too long. more later.

well, it's been a week since my last post, and wouldn't ya know it, today is bipolar's third birthday!

there's been so much stuff going on since the last post, i'm not even going to try to fit it all into this one, instead, i'm going to attempt to make a real quick skim of the last year (i'm under time constraints right now) and attempt a recap of sorts.

of course, as with years past, i've been in somewhat of a posting slump, so the pickin's are probably kind of slim.

fortunately, after the whole movabletype thing, access to bipolar has increased by leaps and bounds–the archives are all still there, but now we've got category access as well. (and individual entry pages, which you'll get to if you go through the category indexes.)

anyway, without further ado, the year in review (abbreviated version):

1. Lucifigous Prick has our first show.
2. The Puffin returns.
3. My car continues to give me trouble
4. I went to Paris for my sister's wedding.
5. I started dating a wonderful girl though i wasn't prepared yet to talk about it outright (i just mentioned it in the first paragraph).
6. I bought a new car!
7. Found out i'm going to be an uncle.
8. Converted the site to MovableType.

and… there ya have it.

that's the quick and dirty version of the last year of my life. some things i'm sure i probably skipped over (either didn't blog about 'em, or didn't catch them as i skimmed through my old entries) , but i think those are the major events.

of course, the most major event has proven to be #5, and i can safely say that i am one of the happiest men in the world right now. And who said fate was a cruel master?

ok. now that paris is out of the way, i can get on with the real business at hand here on bipolar, which is–or rather, should be–interesting and regular posts about inane facts of my life. in honor of St. Patrick's day–which i may or may not have any real right to celebrate (the question of the Rasnake wick having been dipped in an irish well at some point in the past has never quite been answered to my satisfaction)–i give you my first post Paris posts post.

this weekend i had the extreme pleasure of getting to see several old friends again, people who i don't see nearly often enough though some of them only live 30 minutes away. on Friday, after a lovely evening attending a catholic fish fry with Sara and family, and after leaving her at home so she could rest up for the Rodes City Run, the first leg of the Louisville Triple Crown. after getting home, i had planned to just eat some dinner (one piece of fish between two slices of bread not being sufficient), watch some TNG episodes on DVD, then go to bed myself before 1 in the morning so i could get up early and awake enough to go meet Sara at the race and be there when she crossed the finish line.

well, as luck would have it, Kenny, Christanne, Shawn, and their friend… Rosanne, i think… decided to come over after the show they'd gone to was over. then we all went out to wicks so they could eat and we could all hang out, drink, and have a good time. this is exactly what we did, and amazingly enough, i was still able to get up in the morning and go down to the race (though i didn't get to see Sara before-hand, as an ungodly number of people were there). i did end up meeting up with ben who was there to support his wife, and we palled around town down to the finish line where we waited for them to appear. both Sara and Kelly finished the race in good time, and none the worse for wear. afterwards, we went out for a celebratory breakfast at the cracker barrel.

by the way, for those keeping track (all… none of you) this whole race-day thing involved me getting up by 7:15 on a Saturday. the fact that hell has not yet frozen over still somewhat surprises me.

anyway, and to continue, later that day after showers and relaxing, we met up with Ben & Kelly again at the St. Patty's day parade. ben took some pictures with his handy dandy digital camera, a few of which were of sara & me. Sara was very excited by the possibility that there would be things (candy, beads) thrown from the floats, and i had to explain to her that in pretty much every parade in my hometown, most of the floats were well stocked with (at least) candy. i can't remember a parade where candy was not thrown. (finally, something my hometown does better than a real city!)

during the parade, we met up with geoff and his lady-friend, and geoff offered up a little of his stash of irish whiskey with which to increase the potency of the celebration. needless to say, it did the trick. after the parade, we all retired to geoff's girlfriend's house (i hesitate to attempt spelling her name, as i know i'll get it wrong), where more irish whiskey (bushmills, for those interested in that sort of thing) was consumed and a pleasant time was had by all until stomachs started grumbling.

we decided to walk homeward, and stopped at the newly re-opened Wendy's for a bite of dinner. this Wendy's has been closed for over three months… you have no idea what a traumatic experience this has been for me, but it is finally over, thank goodness.

now, it is shortly after this point that the carousing and consuming that i'd been doing over the past 14 – 16 hours started to catch up with me. once we got home, my stomach was expressing its displeasure with me, so we lay down for a nap–sara, myself, and my stomach. at some point a bit later, neither of us is sure because we both were out like rocks, paul called to let us know where everyone was (we were planning on meeting up with my friends again and having another night of revelry to celebrate Christianne's 30th, but no plans had been established or expressed to me), so we got up and went to meet the gang at applebees.

after applebees, we adjourned to the crapfest that is Jillians where we played several video games that cost way too much money, and otherwise sat around, drank, and hung out. after soaking in the Jillian's atmosphere (such as it was) for long enough (too long) we decided to again adjourn to a more familiar, more lively, less expensive locale–the backdoor.
we got there, got some drinks, hung out, carried on, had some fun, and then it was time to go home. All-in-all, it was a very enjoyable day.

Sunday i slept 'til three. PM. as usual.

in other news, i'm going to be an uncle! yup, my loving sis is finally pregnant. in fact, here's a picture of my little niece or nephew:

this wasn't too much at once, was it? sorry, it was a very eventful weekend.

well, i've been back from France for about four days now, but i've been so busy trying to play catch-up in my "real" life and my "work" life that i've not had time to write a new post. i've finally gotten a moment to breathe tonight, though, so here we are.

France was awesome. i think i've said this like 200 times in the last four days. i loved it, thoroughly, but, i'm not going to get into it too much right now, because my ultimate plan is to transcribe my journal entries here for you guys to read/ignore.

i also took 11 rolls of film with me, and finished off every one of them. hopefully, i'll be getting the pictures back this weekend or early next week, and i'll work them up using my handy-dandy developed-for-lucifigousprick.com photo gallery scripts.

there's also a plan in the works to collaborate with jason (who i met in deauville) on a site just to commemorate my sister's wedding.

needless to say, when i was leaving Paris on the last day of my trip, the only thing that i could think of was that i didn't want to leave. i am so enamored with Paris that i want to get back there as soon as i can. hell, i've even entertained the possibility of moving there, which for me is a huge/strange thing. i also love louisville, and, until seeing Paris, i couldn't have imagined any place i'd rather live than here. but, with the slight scent of change on the winds the way it's been in the past few months, it seems that this thought of moving isn't as absurd as it would've seemed even a year ago. (i know i've just opened myself up to about 6 months of "so, when're you moving up here" from nathan, but that can't be helped.)

there's also this feeling in my life right now… that i'm on the verge of something, awaiting something. i can't quite pinpoint it, but the feeling is there… something is happening, or will happen. hopefully, it'll all be good, whatever it is. but it's put me in this state where i'm just thinking that i have *got* to get my shit together. maybe i'm just headed into one of my manic cycles, i dunno.

expect journal entries shortly. like, maybe as soon as tomorrow, if you're lucky.

well well. paul has finally delivered a piece of the puzzle that is my next poetry book. i had commissioned him… must have been two years ago… to write up a nice introduction to my second volume of poetry (since he'd had the honor of doing the cover for the first one). well, in a flash of inspiration today, he completed that task, and did a fine job. so, for multiple reasons, i'm going to let you guys be the first to read it!

there comes a time in the lives of most young adults when the pangs of emotional confusion run headlong into artistic cathartic bliss. the resulting carcass from this car wreck of a creative process lies there and begs us to stare. not that i'm equating the writings presented here as being that of roadkill stench nor am i making a statement about the writer's technique in developing his work. my point is simply this: angst + outlet = art (and believe me, art – outlet = angst). and sometimes this process happens violently and without warning.

paul steven brown
june 4, 2002

now i just need to get off my ass and finish pulling the book together. if anyone wants to contribute artwork, send me some samples and i'll send you some poetry to work from.

yep. it's winter.

on the bright side, we've got a christmas tree up, we finally went out and bought some lights for it along with some other assorted lights–chintzy things that hang in the windows–as well as some stockings… three big ones for paul, brax, and i, and some little ones (two for the kitties, some others for "family" members). so, the house is feeling a little bit more festive now, with blinking lights that aren't necessarily attached to a clock, pieces of entertainment equipment, or computers.

the one thing i do miss at this time of year is a fireplace. there's something about coming in from the cold (spring-like, to be more accurate) winter weather, and sitting by the fire with a mug of hot chocolate and a book. item number one on the list of things whatever house i might eventually buy must have…

sounds like brian and scott are getting settled into the ol' homestead. i really need to get over there and visit them… call me a bastard (… alright, that's enough…) but i just can't seem to find the time or motivation to get out of this house to go visit friends. just another manifestation of that inadequacy i've always had in the "maintaining friendships" department. luckily, most of my friends are very forgiving or just more active.

the last several days i've been doing little piddly things behind the scenes of ye olde bipolar here, most of which aren't apparent, but hopefully i'll make enough progress to let you know about at least one of them here soon.

apparently, i'm entering hibernation mode… i slept way way way too much this weekend. i've gotta start doing stuff, or i'm just gonna sleep my life away.