i'm sitting at work on what is widely regarded as the busiest shopping day of the year. thanksgiving has come to a wrap, and now the holidays truly begin. i ended up deciding to go spend some time with my family for the turkey day. i guess it wasn't too bad. the overall experience was made easier by the fact that i decided to have a couple of whiskey sours before i even put any food in my stomach. the coolest part of the day being the point where i was sitting on the couch, sipping on mixed drinks with my grandmother. after i actually got some food in me, my alcohol stupor quickly faded away, leaving me searching for a good reason to hit the road. that reason came in the form of the family firing up the ol' pictionary. as my cousin steve put it: "they might as well put a gun on the table, spin it…whoever it's pointing at has to draw. if no one guesses it, they have to take a shot." so that was our cue to exit.

i ended up at steve's for a round of beers and a few matches of tekken tag on the big screen. nothing beats 60 inches of playstation2 in dts surround. wow.

i got home in the early evening to take care of my "real" family shit, including calling paul to have him come over for some timesplitters action.

and that new movie, unbreakable? worst ending ever.

paul bought the x-men dvd tonight. being the x-men freak that he is, this was really only a matter of time. i ended up buying gladiator. i opted for that one due mostly to the fact that i've seen x-men six times and i only got a chance to see gladiator once. and the fact that gladiator has two discs and multiple hours of extra features….i think i made a good choice.

so here we are at thanksgiving. tomorrow begins the madness that is the holiday season. america goes crazy trying to buy whatever is "in" this year, and everyone forgets to kick back and relax. spend time with the family. i guess this is kind of ironic that i brought that up, because i'm wondering if i'll even spend tomorrow with the family at all. i'll probably sit around the apartment watching dvds and playing video games. i'm sure i'll actually do something for christmas, i just don't know what, exactly.

and if anyone is looking for something to get me for christmas…i've found it for you.

i think i'm gonna go watch gladiator now.

so that redesign that we were supposed to have done over the weekend? we're still working on it. we have a bunch of ideas sitting around, and a couple of them are so good that we're having a tough time making a decision. you'll probably end up seeing a combination of all the ideas in the end, but you wouldn't know that without me telling you.

which brings me to a little anecdote. bipolar was originally started as a little showcase for the web design outfit that matt and i started (x:13 design, you're there now). we were gonna use it to post about the progress of sites we were working on, our observations on designing websites for a living, etc. well…matt and i got a little caught up in our daily grind and personal lives. x:13 is something that is on the back burner for now. but i'm glad that bipolar has grown to be a bigger part of my life.

but life is more than a stupid weblog.

i was talking to an aquaintence yesterday. i approached the conversation as i would most others, give a friendly greeting, etc. well after my greeting i got a response that's never expected: "my brother died this morning." this kinda put me on my heels. what do you say to that? but as i expressed my feelings of sympathy for his situation, i realized how much the people that i have around mean to me. i've lost a lot of people over my 24 years. two big ones stand out: my father when i was 5 years old, and a really close friend almost exactly five years ago. these were big life defining events.

my father was a person that i never got to know as well as i wish i had. i'd give anything to be 4 again, going out with my dad to pizza hut for my birthday, just me and him. playing with my spider-man toys together. him taking me for rides on his motorcycle. these are memories that still stand out in my head brighter than ones from yesterday. he died on a warm evening in 1981 on his motorcycle. he had had a few beers and wanted to ride home from a friend's house to get some tools. it was just starting to get dark and he was probably going faster than he should have. he hit a dog that happened to stray out into the road. this is not what you'd call a "good thing" when you're on a motorcycle. the day after all of this happened is probably the last time i ever prayed to god. i know that i looked at my ceiling, and i assured "god" that he was a bad, bad person, and that you should never take a boy's daddy away. maybe that's where my insurmountable slide into bad luck began…

my most recent brush with death occured almost five years ago, exactly. my friend richard was straight-edge and vegan. he was a noble motherfucker. he had more values and integrity in his thumb than most people encounter in their whole life. and one late winter night, he was killed by a drunk driver that thought it would be a great idea to run a red light. at 70 miles an hour. the muddle of feelings i still have regarding this whole event is quite a tangle, and i don't know if i'll ever straighten them out.

these aren't the only people i've lost over the years, but they meant the most to me. if there's one thing i could say to them, it'd be that i love them both, and i miss them dearly.

and in the spirit of the holiday, i give thanks for the people i have in my life. they are my world, and i would be lost without them. guy, scott, matt, and paul are the most amazing guys on the planet. friends like them you could never dream of.

and there's some sort of small animal either living on my roof or in the ceiling. it's starting to drive me nuts…

well…things seem to be back to normal around here. it seems like we've capped off a weekend of ridiculous server problems with what is now being dubbed "The Great Bipolar Lobotomization of 2000" (notice the rare use of capitalization!) if you tried to look at bipolar last night, you probably got this page. if you missed it, you should check it out.

we also got quite an outpouring of grief over matt's rumored demise. matt is not, however, dead. he's alive and kicking and he's here to stay. i think his actual words were "back the fuck off."

i'd say we've really learned from the past few days worth of bullshit. our plan to redesign bipolar has been escalated, and there's even a few more drastic changes in the works. you should be seeing the results of at least some of this by week's end. keep your eyes a-peeled.

and blogger now works. this is what is called "a very good thing."

shit. i need to go out and buy the x-men dvd…

so i finally got my post from last night up. blogger seems to work if you have perseverance. i hear through the grapevine that those good folks at pyra are working hard to correct this problem.

i finally bought a damn toboggan yesterday. this has been a big issue with me, lately, because my head had been getting cold. this is one of those things that is important to me and completely uninteresting for you, the reader.

i would like to formally change all of the cds in the below list to:
faraquet – the view from this tower
that is just one amazing fucking cd. i'm pretty stoked about getting to see them in a week and half.

i've been decidedly anti-social, as of late. i had a big time bitchfest about being out yesterday, as matt would attest. but he got an mp3 cd player, what does he care? his world is all pink bunnies and lollipops. his world is all mudhoney and ll cool j. his world is powered by e2. his world is all something and something else. but he's still the man.

so nanette got fired on friday. i can feel her pain, really. i've only been fired once, but it was with a group of friends who happened to work at the same place and by a dirty hippie. we got pretty "disgruntled" about that, to say the least.

matt found an interesting article that i'd like to point out. it's actually a pretty astute observation on this whole blogging phenomenon. i hope i'm not stealing matt's link for the day, but what does it matter if we both post the same one?

the x-men dvd comes out tomorrow. i guess i'll be buying it, like a good fanboy. although current word on the street is that it's not all it could be. oh well…i guess i'll have to see for myself.

i must put an end to the fact that i have never read cat's cradle, deadeye dick, or breakfast of champions. it seems that i've only read most of vonnegut's lesser known works. curses! [this realization brought to you by are you wearing a wire?]

new socks = love.

i got a webcam yesterday. we were hoping to have two, but we came to the realization that matt's computer doesn't have usb on it. we had been talking about it for a few days now, and i kinda got mine on a well planned whim. we don't plan on putting it to any real use until we at least redesign bipolar. of course…we were supposed to do that this weekend, and we never got around to it. we have a couple of plans, though, and they're both gonna be pretty neat. so keep your eye's peeled.

the webserver kinda crapped out on us earlier today. everything's straight now, but i'd like to put out an apology to anyone who tried to hit any of the sites (this page, transmission3000, or puffin-a-go-go) and got rejected. like i said…everything is working fine now.

get six minutes into track 2 on the new neurosis cd and try not to go insane. really…try it.

on that note, it's time for the top 8 cds in the newly reclaimed accord:

driver side:
pj harvey – songs from the city, songs from the sea
faraquet – the view from this tower
neurosis – sovereign
radiohead – ok computer

passenger side:
elliott – false cathedrals
the roots – come alive
john coltrane – blue train
don caballero – american don

discuss amongst yourselves…

well it looks like blogger is having one of those days again. that's okay. i'm a patient man. i'll just write my posts throughout the day and you'll see them when everything gets worked out. how keen is that?

well it looks like i'm heading up to chicago the weekend after next. hey mercedes is playing a show with rocket from the crypt and faraquet, so i'm not gonna miss that one for anything. and hell…i'll get to see my pal bob. i guess this might make up for our snafu where we didn't call him last weekend to hang out. hey…we thought he had band practice…

in late breaking midget news: it seems that the kid rock midget has died. i really don't know how to comment on that.

i really to get me a winter hat. a knit cap or something. considering the fact that it looks like i'll be spending more and more time in the windy city, this couldn't be a bad idea.

i hear video games calling my name…

i now have my car back. it's nice to have brakes again. of course…i was planning on sleeping in today, but i had to get up and take jess to work. i guess i was gonna have to drive at some point today. and i want to add that it's nice that the engine still smokes as bad as it did. makes me feel right at home…

as i was out i noticed the first sparse snowflakes of the season. you have to be pretty observant to catch them, but they're there. so that's got me thinking of christmas and how i have no plans. i've kinda gotten sick of being around my family, due to the fact that they all hate each other and we have to get completely drunk just to tolerate being together. maybe all of this cold weather's blowing down from up north…

on the way home i decided to stop at circuit city to look at tvs. since i've gotten my playstation2, i've been thinking about actually picking up a nice tube. man they've got a ton of nice gadgets in that place. i spent much longer than i anticipated browsing around things i know i won't be buying anytime soon, including that mp3 compatible cd player that matt and i were looking for all last weekend. i mean…i have a nice job now and i can afford nice things, but if i ever get a circuit city charge card…somebody kill me.

so i have no plans for tonight. i'll probably end up going out with paul and matt. we'll probably do something amusing as we always do. hmmmm…fun is bowling….

well it's late. matt and i decided to try to go out to grab some late night grub at the twig and leaf, a local diner that stays open all night thursday through saturday. but after we got there, walking up to the door craving some twig taters, we find out they're closed. it seems they're open every thursday night except tonight. bummer. so we ended up going to dennys. quite a step down, if you're psyched for the twig. curses!

and i finally figured out why jack is so good at ms. pac man. and i'll have him know that my debit card wasn't an easy quest, either. it involved paying off my old bank before i could even open the new account. you win some, you lose some.

i hope paul's tape of that radiohead special turned out okay. i know he seemed kinda bummed about the brevity, but i still want to see it. there's nothing better than kickin' back with the puffin to watch some radiohead. no sir.

don't you love it when girls do really sweet things for you? no matter how small? i'm telling you…some things just make my day… and she didn't spill any of my secrets, so i'm on top of the world…

i picked up two amazing new cds today. i found the new neurosis album hiding over in the metal section, which of course, isn't where i think they should be. but who am i to decide? anyway…it's frickin' awesome. i recommend getting about 6 minutes into the second song and then waiting for your head to explode. the other cd i picked up was the new pj harvey. polly jean never ceases to entertain me. the new album really expands on all of the stuff that i've liked about her various other records and just made it a thousand times better. and when you throw that thom yorke fella into the mix…watch out.

it's time for bed, ya heshers…