i swear…the interstate and mondays just don't mix. it doesn't really matter, though…the dumbass on the road did nothing but make me laugh at him for the entirety of my drive. thank you, sir, for being the butt of my joke…

as i merged onto the highway, this guy cruising along in the fast lane decided it was important to blare his horn at me (and i mean blare) and give me a dirty look and even give me the finger. now…keep in mind i was coming in off an entrance ramp and merging into the slow lane. not the fast lane where this idiot was residing. he wasn't looking to hit the slow lane at any point, either. i had my eyes on him the entire time, which is why it was so baffling that he blew his horn. yes…i was planning on cutting him off, that's why i was watching him. no, i hadn't cut him off yet. i like to take my lanes one at a time, thanks.

so i let him ride past me and watched him yell through his window at me, presumably about my need to learn how to drive. and then i decided it was high time to go ahead and get that cutting off out of the way. he needed it…and i'd feel better for doing it.

so i shot ahead and cut him off, earning another toot from the horn of his chrysler. he rode up on my ass. i slowed down to the 45 of the old lady next to me in the slow lane. he kept diving up on my ass and i kept flashing my brakes, making him float back to avoid a collision.

so then i decided to lose the chump. he then followed me forever, even eventually pulling alongside me and rolling his window down. he was yelling. maybe he spilled his latte? i rolled my window down and heard nothing but a faint yet limp whine over the wind. i smiled and waved at him. how unfriendly is this guy? i waved! i was being nice! he gave me the finger again! twice from this joker! can you believe it?

some people.

i ended up losing him by driving 85 and watching him get cut off by someone else (!) as he tried to catch up to me.

now i'm at work, still polishing off my morning oj.

as long as it doesn't get any worse…