seems like brian's been admirably picking up my slack around here, updating bipolar on a regular basis while i've been busy doing a bunch of nothing.

first off, thanks to the executors of the Sebastian Stirling estate for their birthday well-wishes, all the more meaningful considering their recent loss.

i've certainly had a decent birthday. can't complain too much. yesterday, i had my 90 day evaluation at Corvus and got a raise! if that doesn't make for a decent birthday, i don't know what does.

spent most of the day today lounging around the house in my bathrobe, as I like to do, surfing the web, pricing new computers. looks like i'm going to end up going the sony VAIO route. and as brian said, "they made the PlayStation 2, how can you go wrong?"

had a good dinner and good beer with good friends at the irish rover (with no horrible bitch waitress in sight), and afterwards went to the hideaway saloon with brian and proceeded to drink two more pints and play some really bad drunken pool.

and finally, i told you all that stuff partly to avoid thinking about this–
she didn't remember. not that i'm surprised, mind you, but after i, on her birthday, and after not having spoken to her in like 4 or 5 months, wrote her a letter and made the effort to rekindle at least a friendship of some sort, i had kind of hoped that she would. i guess she's too busy being the little queen bee, having all her little drones buzzing around her (-like i used to do-), and doesn't have time to remember the birthday of the person she keeps assuring is her best friend in the world. agh. enough of that.

i am a happy person, see :^)

**update 12/17/2004** signaldrench is no more, now there's newartillery

my soul has been sucked out by COMICS! my god, what's happening to me!? I've been endeavoring to catalog my entire comics collection (a measly two & 1/2 long boxes) and haven't done ONE OTHER THING on my computer at home. hell, I barely check e-mail anymore. one thing's for sure, I'm getting to know my collection really well, and learning a bit about comics in the process–writers, pencillers, inkers, valuations, and the fact that story titles get recycled every year or so.

if I wasn't before, I suppose I'm now officially a comics geek.

ack.

not much else has been going on, though I did see yet another totally captivating chick at Deddens last Friday. Tall, thin, really really cute, and she could play pool like crazy. she held the table through at least 6 or 7 contenders (all guys) and totally impressed me and the puffin, with more than just looks. skill, looks, personality… it was quite a package. she'll forever be known as "the pool goddess."

did we talk to her?

what do you think?

of course not.

another day in the exciting world of matt.

well, didn't do any drunken scripting last night, but did a bit of drunken ogling of beautiful women. unfortunately, brian and I were both ogling the same girl, and brian being in the mood he was in I didn't really feel like making any moves (out of respect) (that, and I probably wouldn't have made any moves anyway, 'cause I never do, and really don't think I even know how anymore).

sometimes, and more often lately, I feel like a complete social retard, unable to communicate or connect with the people around me, often, even with my closest friends. even my sister and I, though I love her to death and was really happy to get to see her again, didn't really talk that much the few hours she was here. I find myself riding in cars with my best friends, hanging out with them, and–maybe–saying 15 words between locations… I don't know if its me, or what. it's not that I don't want to talk with them, quite the contrary, it's just that for some reason most of the time I don't feel I have anything worthwhile to say. I think that's why my best days tend to be days when my friends are all happy and talky, and I can just kind of sit and listen to them and not really feel pressured to contribute.

and it's not that I'm a total mute either, I can and do talk to them, but there're just those times, and to me, it just seems like they happen too often.

i've also come to the conclusion that if I don't have it already, i'm probably developing some mild form of seasonal affective disorder. too many things have happened to me during the winter months of my life that haven't been good, or that have started out good and ended up with me mentally and emotionally beaten again. too many memories.

[(- tonight, matt's bipolar update will be executed by the illustrious puffin, read well kids, this shit should be good. m@ -)]

apparently matty has been too occupied with the goddamn spider-man game to deem a bipolar update necessary. don't fret boys and girls, your uncle puffin is here to provide a little insight to the coffeemonk world.

brian transmission3000 madness as of late. it would seem peoples is going nuts over the hey mercedes show. from what i can tell the best is yet to come (mofo better get the three second kiss show up and running soon). he's got the june of 44 show from last year waiting in the wings as well as blonde redhead (and if you haven't pick up their latest album, do so. it's one of my top three of the year).

i am currently recovering from a ultimate nullifier jam session from earlier this evening. full of blisters and fatigued arms. i'm the only one with enough rhythm to play drums, so i pretty much get drafted into that position. bri and matty wailed on axes. much fun was had. however, i'm a guitarist, and my strengths as a musician are more suited there. my other musical project has been developing nicely. it's just my friend neil and i, but we are very happy with the songs we have written.

our friend bob had a letter to the editor of the LEO published this past wednesday. it was good to get a glimpse of the old bob (long story made short: drugs should be an accessory, not a lifestyle). a nice spit in the face of candied know-nothing, dare i say, journalism. well, the ending of the letter was very current bob (all mystic and hippified).

for a good laugh, check out radiskull and devildoll at www.shockwave.com. quite hilarious and oh so edgy. now, if we could only get some new sifl-n-olly stuff i'd be a very happy puffin.

more beer calls. until next time.

puffin

sorry for the lack of updates here on my side, I intended to do one last night, but ended up taking about three or four hours sifting through my email from the past three days.

I've got quite a bit to talk about, so I'll probably break it down over a few posts… give you something to come back for…

the cure are truly an awesome band. I am not their biggest fan, I only own a couple of their albums, and those have only been purchased in the past year; but Paul loves them and offered me a chance to go see them with him, so I took it. I had a great time.

there were lots of beautiful women running around, which enhances any concert going experience (for me, at least), and of course, there were also lots of rather repulsive members of both sexes running around as well.

I can't understand how 5'4" 250lb women can believe they look good in tight fitting dresses, or midriff tops and skirts. it is totally beyond me. I personally don't feel that I would look that great running around with my belly and chest exposed, and I'm not even really overweight.

another thing I don't get is spending a bunch of money on a concert for a band that you don't really like, listen to, or even understand; then showing up completely wasted to the point where you spend the majority of the concert either with your head between your knees or slumped over passed out in a chair. I CAN understand getting a little drunk and having a little fun, but if I wanted to get wasted and throw up, I could do that at home and get an equivalent musical experience from my CD player.

it almost ruined the show for me. we had been waiting for the doors to open for two hours or more (we got there a bit early, and had nowhere else to go, being in a strange city…), then finally we get in, find our seats, and wait another hour for the show to start. 20 minutes before the band takes the stage, the stands begin to fill up, and a group of people take the seats in front of ours. they're laughing, drinking their beers, having a good time. they break out a joint and pass it around. the band takes the stage and get started on the first song. I look down and the little eddie vedder lookalike in front of me has his head between his knees, puking his guts out. We're barely three minutes into the first song, and already the stench of puke is wafting up to my nose. I feel sorrier for the people in the next row up, they were in splatter range…

well that's enough for tonight.

in tomorrow's update:
corn fields, car talk, & fear of worldwide devastation

another day comes to a close. there's not enough going on in my life right now to warrant a weblog. oh well.

one thing I have realized in the past month or so is that if I'm going to be in a band, I probably need to learn how to play guitar.

something else I discovered recently–I'd heard it mentioned before, but this article claims to be quoting from "official" reports by organizations like the American Cancer Society–anyway, I learned that beer really is good for you.

brian may be right. perhaps I am a chickenshit. but when you're at a show to listen to one of your favorite bands, romance suddenly gets knocked down the priority list… at least for me. I go to shows to see my favorite artists play my favorite music, to enjoy hearing it live and louder than my dinky stereo at home will go.
then there's the whole thing where ALL my friends were goading me into talking to this girl. their pushing never works, and yet they always do it.
finally, this girl may have looked good enough for me to want to grab her and do the standing wheelbarrow right there in the middle of the show, but she's one of those girls who looks good, knows it, and then tries to prove it. basically, she was acting like she was some hot shit, and that kind of attitude just turns me right off. I don't mind a girl having a little attitude, hell I encourage it, but when she thinks she's just the greatest thing going, she's not.
so, maybe I'm a chicken shit for not walking up to her, bumping the morons she was talking to out of the way, and at least saying hi. maybe so, but I feel justified since she pretty much just annoyed the hell out of me through 90% of the show once my friends shut up and stopped bugging me so I could actually watch her and see if she was worth the trouble. (oh, and the 10% of the show where she wasn't annoying was when she was actually just standing there listening to the music, and not trying to act like a badass)

damn, kinda went off there.

g'night.