brian asked me the other day if i was "freaking out" because of her return. my response was that, no, i'm not freaking out right now, but i will most likely be freaking out in a big way if/when she moves in next door and i'm forced to see her (or even just her car) on a regular basis. i already find myself glancing up to the porch of that house, or glancing toward the windows to see if there're any lights on inside. thankfully, i've noticed no moving van outside, and haven't seen her car yet. plus, she hasn't called me back, so the possibility exists that she may not have actually signed the lease, and may not be moving in. we can only hope.

this past weekend was actually a fun one for me. a friend from my old job (hawley-cooke, whose web site i created and maintained for almost a year before they kicked me off the project and let it go to complete and utter shit by hiring someone who has no clue what he's doing) came by on Saturday evening, i guess around 6pm to drag me out up and down bardstown road, and into various drinking establishments. we walked up and back (probably 2 miles or so), then stopped in at a little bar near my house and had appetizers and microbrewed beer (probably one too many). then we set out again, walked even farther down bardstown road ('til it turned into baxter ave.) then turned around and walked part of the way back until we got to another bar, where we went in to warm up and… drink more beer.

at this point, she was pretty drunk, and i wasn't exactly straight sober either. we walked back to the house (mind you, this is like 6 hours later) hoping to find paul and brian still awake so that we could all make the traditional saturday drunkfest trip to the twig. fortunately for us, we showed up just as paul was getting ready to go home, and he happily obliged us by driving (even though he complained that we only wanted him for his soberness and ability to drive). needless to say, we were all having a grand time (despite the fact that ms. nicole seemed about to die from hypothermia), and the louisville paul brown (that's the food-stuff, not the person) never seemed so satisfying.

after the twig, we decided to extend the evening at paul's house (since nicole still had to sober up enough to drive home) and paul stopped for some spirits in hopes of joining us in our altered state. we all gathered in the upstairs living room and talked and carried on for a while with nicole falling asleep after about an hour. paul & i continued our normal drunken philosophizing and meandering conversation until she finally woke up and paul decided it was time to send us on our way.

all in all, it was a very nice, enjoyable evening spent with friends.

then sunday was laundry day. mmm, clean clothes.

where to begin?

the last week at work has been rather… interesting, to say the least. the roosters are crowing while the little chicks and hens are just kind of nervously clucking and hopping about. top that off with my aforementioned bout with near-deathly illness (that being a rather nasty head-cold), by the time friday rolled around, i was ready to just kind of kick back and enjoy the weekend. i got an invitation from some co-workers to go out and wind down with a little drinkage after the workday, and, for once, had actually agreed (if somewhat reluctantly) to go. so, 10 minutes before i'm getting ready to head out, brian finally pops up on AIM, and i tried to find out if he and paul had any immediate plans for the evening of which i should be made aware. in other words, if they were actually planning on going out and doing something fun, i was going to ditch my work buddies and tag along with my homies. if, on the other hand, it was friday business-as-usual–no defined plans, except just taking the night as it comes–i'd go ahead and get my drink on with the corvus crowd.

so, here i am, wanting only one thing — a definitive answer as to whether or not he and paul had anything planned. what i got was some half-baked crap about "having something good planned" for me specifically, and that i would "definitely like it." i'm not sure if they could tell by my snappy responses, but i was actually getting very frustrated at them for being so damned evasive. i got this vague idea in the back of my head that maybe this had something to do with sharon, as i vaguely recalled some conversation we'd had almost a month ago about the possibility of her coming through town in the near future. and also, i figured that both brian and paul know how much she means to me, and that she'd pretty much be the only person for whom i'd consider changing my plans. their mutual assertions that it would be "worth it," and paul's "trust me," pretty much cinched it for me. (of course, i think that until they read this, they're still under the impression that i was completely hoodwinked.)

and sure enough, moments after i got home (having noticed that the front door was suspiciously unlocked), who should come up the stairs but sharon herself, in all her radiant beauty. i don't know how many of you have ever actually had a "frown turned upside down" in the space of two heartbeats, but i can authoritatively say that it does happen. we spent the next few hours just hanging out and talking, having a good time. i finally got to meet the boyfriend that i've heard so much about, and having met him and gotten to know him a little, i have to grudgingly give him my approval. well, you know, not that that really matters. but it's like i told him as they were leaving… "you better take good care of her, 'cause i don't want to have to hurt you."

sharon and i shared a couple whiskey shots, chased with some really flat coke (which, i realized, is one way that i can actually do whiskey shots, lord help us) and chatted briefly down in the kitchen, before rejoining the rest of the boys upstairs. all in all, it was a low-key visit, but a very welcomed one. i'm always happy to talk to sharon, and obviously so much happier to actually get to see and spend time with her. but i'm greedy, i wish she (yes, and grant as well) could have stayed a little longer, hung out, maybe had a big crazy night drinking, bowling, and carrying on. maybe we'll be able to do that when i go visit them in sunny cali. we'll go show those little hollywood bums how to really party.

well, just got back from dinner with my father. he picked the Irish Rover, which was great for me, since it's probably my absolute favorite restaurant of all those on the list. overall, it was a good dinner (the food was excellent, as usual), even though we did get the evil waitress from hell. to be honest, i'm surprised she's still working there, she obviously hates it. she was much better this time out, but then again, how could she have been any worse? needless to say, we got out of there before the whole paying the bill / leaving a tip thing came up. but i did get a particular pleasure out of relating the entire story (minus the fact of paul & brian's drunkenness during the events) to my dad, since it at least gave us something to talk about… which leads me to my next observation…

i am too much like my father. i think, all these years, i've blamed my almost morbid quietude in social situations on the fact that the majority of my friends in high school were people who loved to hear themselves talk. i was the kid who could almost never get a word in edgewise. but now, after hanging with my dad this evening, i'm beginning to think it may simply be paternal emulation. getting a conversation started with my dad tonight was like pulling teeth.

me:  "uh. so, uh. how's things?"

how's things!? what the hell kind of question is that to ask your father? and, of course, my father's response:

him: "oh… good. y'know." (or something along those lines)

me:  "… … cool."

<< side note: paul just called me out last night on the phone. he pointed out that i almost always answer any statement or question with just one word — "cool." (in a kind of dull monotone) > >

well, after several false starts, we did hit a few almost good conversations in there, the main one being when he informed me that, when i was four and the family was planning to move to Kentucky, my primary apprehension about the move was… indians. yep, indians, i was apparently afraid that Kentucky, that vague forest-land was teeming with wild, violent, Daniel Boone, Bill Custer at Little Big Horn type indians. and really, i think this is possibly the most important thing my father has ever told me since i moved out of the house and went to college, because, get this, my earliest memory of a childhood dream was about indians attacking our house and the little old lady who gave my sister and i milk and cookies.

well, now i think i understand that dream a little better. obviously it was some kind of anxiety dream about moving to Kentucky.

another conversation we got on was the life decisions issue. it kind of saddened me to hear that there are several things in my dad's life that he sometimes wishes he'd done differently. the only one he specifically mentioned was moving to Princeton. i can't help but wonder if some of the others have anything to do with me. as i've told several of my friends when we've gotten on similar topics, there is only one thing i really regret in my life–the horrible way i mishandled the breakup with the girl who i seem to be mentioning quite a bit lately. that whole situation is probably the only thing i'd go back and change if given a chance.

altogether, i guess it was one of the better father/son hang-out sessions we've had, despite the absurd conversational difficulties. probably the best part was that i got to take him to dinner. normally, he pays for dinner, then slips me a twenty before he leaves. this time, i paid for dinner, and he didn't slip me the twenty… it was liberating, and it just felt good.

in other family news, my sister has been so completely enthralled by the wondrous adventure that is bipolar, she had to go and start her own little weblog. at this point, i've given her a couple days to get into the groove, so go check it out. she's currently living in france, so perhaps she'll be able to expose us all to a little culture… or at least teach us how to say dirty words in french. oh, and that's multi – literate, not mult – illiterate or some such. she's quite the intellectual.

damn. two longish posts in one day… what's up with that?

what a couple of weeks. it seems like i've been too busy to do many of the things that i began enjoying on a daily basis. like blogging, for example… and not just writing this one, but reading the many blogs i enjoy reading from day to day. i'm hoping once this big project i'm working on at work is finished, i'll have a little extra time every day to get back to my blogs.

it's nice to see nanette again, though I really haven't had a great deal of time to actually hang out with her & brian since she got here. thursday, the delayed but much longed for comic day saw me at work for an extra two hours (or more) so pretty much as soon as i got home brian & Paul were bitching profusely about my tardiness and their overwhelming hunger. we introduced nanette to the (usually) wednesday tradition of comics & denny's, where we were informed a major travesty had occurred and they were out–completely out–of ranch dressing. no ranch dressing?!? how can we possibly eat a meal a denny's with no ranch dressing!?
…
well, angrily, of course.

since my Christmas present for Paul had arrived, we popped it in immediately on our return home and proceeded to laugh hysterically for over an hour.

Next came Friday, which found me, once again, staying late at work, except that this time i was there an extra 5 (that's five, f-i-v-e, 5) hours, bringing my total for the day up to a whopping 13!. i stopped off to grab beer, cigarettes, and food on the way home (since brian had informed me that both paul & guy were present, that they were going out to eat, and would be imbibing a bit… well, except for guy, who doesn't drink. then once home i proceeded to drink a little and whup both paul & brian's asses at a healthy game of timsplitters deathmatch. i'm sure this was all very amusing for nanette, who sat reading on the couch, and who'd occasionally attempt to assuage our egos by politely laughing when we silly boys tried to be funny.

then, after the drinking and the killing, we decided to do the eating. we took nanette to the infamous, legendary Twig & Leaf for a bite of the ol' Louisville Paul (oh, i mean hot) Brown. we settled comfortably into our booth and reviewed the menu. even i had planned to try the hot brown, since i've either never had one, or can't remember having had one. much to our surprise, when nanette tried to order, we were informed that they were out of the alfredo sauce that is used to make the hot brown. apparently there has been some conspiracy regarding nanette's visit to Louisville. our two traditional restaurants were both understocked on crucial elements needed to make the dining experience a complete and successful one. fortunately, they hadn't run out of their regular cheese sauce or twig taters (ie. tater tots). we finished our "meals" and headed back home clutching our protesting stomachs.

today has been an interesting exercise in "speed moving." one roommate, the unfortunately hippie-fied and constantly delinquent bob, is being ejected from this house. to our dismay, even having been given two months notice, (and a few random reminders) he had made no effort to pack or begin moving any of his (enormous amount of) stuff. so, Brax came over, he & I went to hawley-cooke to grab an assload of boxes, and we began packing bob's things for him. by the end of the evening Paul had also arrived, and between the three of us, we managed to compress what traditionally has been a two or three day affair into the miniscule space of 5 hours. bob's things are almost completely removed from his former room, and waiting for him in the basement. i can't wait to see the look on his face when he actually returns home to an almost empty room. hehe.

now it's time for bed. my body is tired, my brain is tired, and i have to rest up for what will surely be a record breaking drinking bout tomorrow night. (for me anyway).

well. first post from my new computer haven at home. i've finally managed to get everything set up, all my old files transferred from the crappy old laptop i've been borrowing from my dad for the past year & a half, and am beginning the process of installing all those applications that i don't (but should) use on a daily basis.

it's been a rather uneventful day here at casa de bipolar. didn't get a glimpse of the puffin until late in the evening due to the alcoholic stupor he found himself in after last night's festivities.

thanks go out to tim for the link to the nocturnes he sent me. there are quite a few really good pics in the different exhibits there, check 'em out. oh, and as tim pointed out, it really isn't a goth site.

also, from the nocturnes, i found this little gem. what can i say, i'm a sucker for anything science related.

kerry blessed us with an update today, and while i've been enjoying her cryptic little two to four line posts, it's nice to see something more substantial.

and finally, here's a nice little rant on rockout.org about the enraging practice of video & DVD publishers who try (often, successfully) to sell us the same thing over & over again.

yeah.

we observed World AIDS Day yesterday by joining many of our weblogging brothers and sisters in the Day Without Weblogs campaign. i've personally been blessed with not having to endure the loss of a friend or loved one. i was touched by the number of personal stories i found when checking the sites i read on a daily basis. i look forward to going back and reading them more closely over the weekend.

i spent the past several days tinkering with some leftover computer hardware from work, and have finally cobbled together a useable system. the most amazing thing is, i've even managed to get the DSL modem installed and working. hopefully in the next few days i'll be able to extend the scope of this high speed mutha all over the house. we're going for a full-on internet-connected home network.

so, since i've got this blazin internet connection, a snappy new (to me, anyway) computer, and i'm still up at 7:00am, i figured i throw a quick post up.

managed to get brian to the airport in time not only to catch his flight, but to sit, have a brew, and attempt to calm his pre-virgin-flight nerves. haven't heard from him yet, so i'm hoping he's alright. i'm sure nanette's taking great care of him.
      as much as i'll miss his crazy antics while he's gone, it'll be nice to have my room to myself again for a few days.

it was nice this evening to get to see the puffin, who i haven't seen since saturday or sunday… tonight we mourned the loss of dedden's very uncomfortably over beers at a place called "the back door" which, while having an amazing assortment of frat boys, sorority girls, hippies, and old people, didn't really seem to have many of our type of people. in fact, i think it was pretty much just us.

well, gotta get back to phase two of this high-speed internet plan–installing a network card and making all our computers communicate and cooperate.

that's 1, brian.

[ i've just realized that that paragraph about dedden's and the puffin is a horribly executed run on sentence, but you know, so what. ]

one more quick update from the road.

another town, another kinko's. thought we'd drop in before we get fully involved in this whole driving thing, check our email, and the puffin-a-go-go for word from our boy Paul. don't know at this point if we'll be able to make it home in time for the x-files, but we'll damn well try.

had a great evening last night, getting trashed at Matty & Matt's house, where i sat around watching brian whupping both their asses (until he got too drunk and started losing). you've never heard more trash talk in your life. football players could learn a thing or two from the big monkey. thankfully, i think the Matts really were enjoying themselves (perhaps the alchohol had something to do with that, but i prefer to think it was our sparkling personalities).

then, of course, there was nanette, without whom this entire weekend really wouldn't have been possible. WE LOVE NANETTE! i'd just like to publicly thank her for being so cool, showing us around her city, and not being too afraid to introduce us to her friends despite our predilection for violent, disgusting, and otherwise offensive humor. we had a great time and look forward to coming back sometime when we have enough money to do something other than just walk around all those great shops and look at stuff.

well, 'bout time to get back on the road or we'll never ever make it back before Duchovny shouts "Scully!" again.

quick update from the house of the Matt's–nanette's friends who have been our kind and gracious hosts for the majority of this evening.

i just have to say that brian is my new hero. after last night's 25 minute discussion with Mark Arm, the single greatest vocalist in music today (my opinion) and subsequent picture taking… tonight he walks in from a quick trip to the liquor store with the thing we've been searching for since moving to Louisville–a 40oz Mickey's. all hail brian.

good to see Paul has been keeping himself entertained while we've been up here. also good to see he's hanging out with Brax, our frequently otherwise-occupied friend. as much as i'm enjoying Chicago, i miss my friends after only a couple days away.

we'll post much more later. i've got a fohtee to drink.

wow. it's amazing how much can happen in one day. basically, Friday evening was insane. i went to bed that night, wondering how in the hell i was going to fit the entirety of the worthy events into a single update. i kind of figured i'd have to space it out over the course of several. lucky for you i have a bad memory, and time has a way of dulling things down.

Paul and i spent the majority of the night (after my third night in a row of drinking) "thinking outside the box". at this point i can't remember how many different subjects we covered, but i know technology, philosophy, politics, sociology, and religion were all dealt with. I'll challenge you all with the question he presented to my drunk ass on my back porch after finally getting home from the bar (he has a singular knack for timing these things).

if you want to participate, with the answer to the following question:
Suppose, on halloween, you meet someone dressed in a slightly ratty suit, with a flat black-haired head, greenish face paint, and two metal "connectors" sticking out of either side of his neck. Who is he dressed as?

i'll post the results (and the answer i'm looking for) by the end of the week. i'll give ya till next Monday.

this particular question, i believe is what sparked our entire conversation that night. we talked about semantics, trademarks and abuse of same, and the general stupidity or laziness of the majority of the nation. at least this time, i didn't get the feeling the apocalypse was nearing.

by the time Paul & I finished talking, it was already almost 7 in the morning, and i had to get some sleep before going into work on a damned Saturday. no sooner had i fallen into the very edges of sleep, than i was shocked awake by the very loud sound of a transformer blowing up 20 feet from my window and all the various lights and contstant household sounds going dark and silent. i groaningly pulled myself out of my comfortable bed, hoping my house was not being utterly consumed by fire, because a fire would certainly prevent me from getting to sleep anytime soon, and would be a major hassle. once i realized the house was relatively safe from immediate destruction (barring, of course, attack by terrorists or space aliens) i went to the kitchen and called the electric company's automated "our service sucks" hotline and reported the trouble. Jess & I sat up chatting for a little while, and at one point, she suggested (as many many people have) that I should go back to college and get my degree. i thought about it for a minute before coming to a conclusion.

the only major that i could conceivably see myself taking would be something along the lines of "Theoretical Realism." I think it would be kind of neat to be a degreed theoretical realist. I could tell people with authority when they were living in a fantasy world, or i could come up with various theories attempting to explain what exactly reality is, and why it sucks so much.

then i thought of an even better degree program, which i would just have to follow all the way to the doctorate level. I mean, wouldn't you like to be referred to as a "Doctor of Omniscience"… ? you know, you'd start out with your bachelors in omniscient studies, move up to masters, then get the PhD. sounds fun.

well. i guess that's it. i'm drained for now. i'm not omniscient yet.

well, i'm back on the job today, after taking two days off for that whole birthday thing. thinking, yeah. i'll take two days off, come in on Friday, then have TWO MORE days off… well guess what? we're on a deadline. "we need help and you're the only man who can do it, you're the last man available, can you, maybe, work this weekend? please?"

"yeah, i guess."

ah well, this'll make it much easier for me to get next Friday off to go up to chicago and watch one of my absolute most favorite bands in existence, the monkeywrench. their latest album is pretty kick ass, btw, but i've long considered Clean As a Broke Dick Dog to be one of the greatest albums of all time. it's definitely in my (not-really-defined) top-ten.

hm. this week has been a little odd, both nights that i was off work, i ended up getting drunk (not wasted drunk, but pleasantly drunk). this is not like me. my friends usually bitch about me "never drinking with them." sad thing last night was i was drunk after only two pints of Bass. i guess i've become a lightweight again. well, we'll have to fix that.

oh, and i still haven't heard from her. i'm trying not to think about it, because, y'know, fuck her if she can't make a little effort to at least pretend she cares. lip service is all i've gotten (and no, not that kind of lip service). a person can talk about how much they care until the mad cows come home, but it doesn't mean shit if they can't make a little effort to show you. yeah, maybe she's busy, maybe she's got stuff going on. she could still take five minutes to call & leave a message, or just say hey, can't talk right now, but wanted to say hi. even that would at least be something. can't you tell i'm trying not to think about this? oh yeah.