did i say something about jinxing myself earlier? try this on for size:

dearest co-workers,

cheers!
j. brian hall.

i think that about says it all, huh?

so she and i had that conversation, last night. seems like everything is fine in the land of boys and girls. she likes me, but she doesn't want a serious relationship. that's always a downer. but i understand what she means when she says "this is a bad point in my life to try to have a serious relationship." i'm sure i'll slug it out until either (a) she comes around or (b) she doesn't and she (c) gets totally sick of me. always a good plan, huh?

she and i are going out with some of her friends to do some traditional new year's partying tonight. this is an exciting prospect because, regardless of how many girls i've dated, i've never had a new year's kiss. i've never been kissed at midnight. we'll see if i can smash that trend tonight.

and yep…i just totally jinxed myself. damn it.

i'm currently on an ebay binge. my newest obsession? vintage 1970's t-shirt iron-ons. by the end of the day i should be the proud owner of a black sabbath one and a beautiful ac/dc one that is the cover to highway to hell. these are considered, by me, to be two of the best rock bands ever, so…yeah. i'm fairly stoked. for those interested, there's a great wealth of vintage van halen logos on there. they're kinda pricey compared to the stuff i've been getting, though. this was the bastard that started it all, though. viva la beer.

thank the powers that be that i don't have to work tomorrow. i'll be in no shape to skate, as they say.

anyone get an ipod for christmas? i know bob did. are they as cool as i think they must be?

new year's resolution: to not make the same new year's resolution i've been making every year for almost 5 years. it's not working. time to try something else. don't ask what that new year's resolution is. it's kinda lame. it does not involve money or super-models in any way. it's a seemingly reachable goal that i just keep falling flat on. you will get no further information.

i keep thinking that this should be the slam-bang, year-end bipolar blowout where i talk about all the cool shit i did over the past year. too bad i didn't do too much cool shit, huh? i dated a few girls. got dumped by those girls. most people i've talked to have chalked 2001 up as a giant shitstorm and they're all ready to move on. it wasn't the best year, but i can't say it was the worst, yet. i had a good job for the entre span of this year, so that's a big plus. i travelled quite a bit. i joined a new band. i met a really wonderful girl that just happens to be at a point in her life where things can't be as serious as i'd like them to be. that's not too bad, is it? she still wants me around. that's gotta count for something, right? i guess we'll find out, huh?

here's to 2001, yeah? you treated me like shit, but i ain't mad atcha.

life is hell when you don't sleep. to tell the truth…it's even worse when you really want to sleep, but for one reason or another…you just can't. i've never considered myself much of an insomniac, but there are times when i get something on my mind and it completely bars me from sleep. it's like the gates to eight hours of sweet oblivion have been slammed shut in my face. last night was definitely one of those nights. some would say i don't have much to think about, at all. i could lay the whole deal out and everyone would look at me, blink, and then tell me i'm an idiot. so i'll spare you. let's leave it at this: i remember being awake way more than i might have actually slept, last night.

and no….i wasn't drinking.

the kilowatthours show got moved, due to a slight issue with a fire at our original venue. we were lucky enough to jump onto another show that was down the road, so it worked out splendidly. this also worked out because this was the show that "the girl" was playing, so…yeah…fate dealt a nice hand. the show was an enjoyable evening of diverse music, to say the least. thanks to anyone who reads this and actually showed up, even if i didn't play this show.

the girl. is she "the girl"? who knows. i cooked her dinner friday night and everything went really well. i even bought wine, even though i can't stand the stuff. we curled up on the couch and watched some german movie called the legends of rita (or die stille nach dem schu?, for you nitpickers). it was a nice evening, even if i didn't quite figure out where i stand. i think that's really my problem…i like to know where i stand. it's pretty much a need, really. it drives me completely crazy and makes me second guess myself if i don't know what the situation is. and maybe that leads us to why i didn't sleep, last night…

the show went well. we hung out, enjoyed light conversation, but i started getting the feeling that where i actually stand is way far away from where i actually want to be. but the worst thing is…i don't know for sure. hence the sleepless night.

i know i like this girl a lot. to be honest, i had one of those waking epiphanies where i realized that i like her a hell of a lot more than i've been admitting to myself (which elicits a giant "no shit…it was obvious to us" from just about every one of my friends). this is really starting to bother me. mainly because i don't know what to do about it, and i don't have a clue what's going on. i'd like nothing more than to pursue this thing, both barrels blazing, straight on to sunset (or something), but i don't know if that would do me a bit of good. maybe i'll just ask her.

that's a novel concept. wonder if it'll work…

shows. rock shows. you'd think they'd be fun, but they're just a giant, never-ending headache. keep that in mind the next time you blurt out "i love rock shows!" seriously.

christmas went reasonably well. it was a dry christmas with no one bringing alcohol over to grandmother's house, so to say the least…it was less than tolerable. but i cut out of there soon enough and went to visit my dad and little sister. they were bumming around the house, having done all their christmas stuff the night before. i hung out with my dad for a while and we talked about me hating my stepmom. it was a pleasant evening. then i headed over to seth's to say "hi" to him, his girlfriend, and his awesome mom. so…yeah…i was spreading my own unique brand of holiday cheer. to top the evening off, ben and i went to cahoots and got hammered. in the middle of an icecube throwing fight, ben tipped the table over on one of the girls we were with and broke some glasses. all while "mr. brownstone" wailed in the background. that's when we all made our laughing exit.

you can add that to the end of everything i did, this week, if you want: then ben and i went to cahoots and got hammered.

that would be fairly accurate.

i hung out with "the girl" on christmas eve. she gave me the gift she got me, which was much appreciated and liked. we made plans to hang out on friday and new year's eve. i was planning to cook her dinner on friday, but that seems to be in peril due to her practicing for a one-off show with some friends of her's. the other headache about this show is that it's the same night as the kilowatthours show, almost exactly at the same time, just down the road. so it makes it impossible for me to go down and watch her show when i have one of my own to deal with. lame.

so there's your headaches. after saturday…maybe i'll have some better luck. maybe this year i'll actually get to kiss someone at midnight on new year's. that would be nice.

yeah…and then ben and i went to cahoots and got hammered.

just wanted to pop on and post the flyers made for the upcoming kilowatthours show. two nerd versions…

simpsons nerd version
and
stoner astronomy nerd version

enjoy.

here i am, working my only day until wednesday. i was off my standard 3 days, i come back for one, and then i'm off for two more. today seems like a total waste. but is a day ever a total waste if you have a trusty mocha by your side? exactly.

weekends are becoming a blur. maybe it's just all this holiday bullshit. ben got back into town thursday, and we met up with ben and headed straight out to q'doba. then it was off to a viewing of fellowship of the ring with scott and jason from work. one long movie later and we were sitting in the parking lot talking about how that was totally braveheart, except with orcs and goblins. a pretty good summation, i think. we all enjoyed the movie a great deal, so it was a good time. friday night we hit ramsi's and then the bar, hanging out until god knows when in the morning. i saw "the girl" at the bar and somehow played it cool, despite the fact that i was roaring drunk. or something. i confirmed our plans for the next day and went about my business. of getting more drunk. or going home. i don't remember.

for those keeping score, i still haven't won a free sprite.

yesterday i sat around the house with ben playing grand theft auto 3 and making flyers for the kilowatthours show on saturday (the 29th of december…if you live in louisville, you should be there). one of the flyers featured barney from the simpsons. we were quite proud of that, for some reason. we also made a "version b" flyer with a picture of some weird space nebula. we figured the stoners needed some love, too. then "the girl" came over and we hung out. i gave her the gift i bought. i felt like a dumbass. she and i had a talk, and i didn't feel like a dumbass anymore. so…yeah. i'm stressing a situation that neither she or i understands, so it's completely fruitless to worry about it. i guess i'll just go with the flow. we hung out at the mag bar with some friends of her's and then we headed back to my place to have that previously mentioned conversation. we may or may not do something on christmas eve. i'm not sure yet. i probably shouldn't hold my breath. or something.

i've come to the realization that i love almost any girl that works at the coffeeshop, calls me by name, and makes my coffee without me having to place an order. i feel like i somehow got bumped into some exclusive coffee place club or something. only i would be excited about something so lame.

so…uh…merry christmas, or whatever.

i'm not drunk and girls still make me insane.

i'm drunk and girls make me insane.

simply put, the official ninja homepage is one of the funniest things i've seen in a long while. rejoice.

that is all.

it looks like scott and i will be seeing lord of the rings tomorrow night. i went up to the theatre to purchase us some of them there ticket things and they were sold out of the late show. since scott works until 10, we opted to just see it tomorrow night. hopefully at least one or two idiots will dress up like hobbits and brandish reynold's wrap swords and say stupid things like "adventure ho!" and "may the….ring…uh…be with you." those people really make my day. kinda like all the retarded little harry potter kids at the theatre on opening night for that.

man. i just called a bunch of kids retarded. pretty harsh. but those books and that movie were so overhyped, it's ridiculous.

i just keep thinking of the fat guy dressed as darth maul at the episode one opening night. we all told him that if he didn't put his lightsaber away, he was gonna walk out of the theatre with it stuffed up his ass. always a good time.

i ate mcdonald's for lunch. halfway through the meal i remembered that i totally fucking hate mcdonald's. i figure walking into one of those hellholes is not unlike sucking the devil's cock. yup. i figure that's a pretty close comparison.

ben will be home tomorrow. this only means even more q'doba will be eaten. he'll probably go with me and scott to go see the movie tomorrow night.

me and scott? scott and i? who gives a fuck?

did you know that at movietickets.com, to buy a ticket, all you need to do is…click it? …now i feel dirty.

i finally talked to "the girl (who isn't the girl, but i keep calling her that because there's a slight chance that she still is the girl and i just don't know it)" last night. looks like we have plans to do something on saturday. that is, of course, if she doesn't cancel on me again. that would blow. expect the worst, right? yeah. so i'll give her the gift and then she'll be like "oop! i've gotta go paint my toenails!" and that'll be the end of that.

or something.

it's raining. it was completely sunny when i came into this joint, this morning. hell…it was semi-nice out when i went out to pick up the tickets for the movie. hrm.

and so it goes.