well, it's time for my bi-weekly post to what was once my daily obsession…

i've been so disconnected for a while… between a few months of hell at work (which are now thankfully starting to slow down and normalize) and the "free time" that seems to be slowly dwindling away from me through some unknown time vortex, i've barely been on my computer in a communicative, productive capacity at all in the last several weeks anyway.

of course, i spend 8 hours a day on the computer, and perhaps that's part of it… perhaps i'm finally starting to burn out on the whole computer thing. i really don't think that's the case, but i have to entertain it as at least a possibility.

really, though, after the events of Sept. 11th, the aftermath of that, and between buying DVDs, PS2 games, and not one, but two games for my PC, i've basically been doing the late 90's teenager thing of vegging in front of the boob tube or drooling in front of a 3D computer gamespace.

maybe i'm due… i never got into this stuff all that much in the past… was never much of a computer game player. of course, occasionally a couple days of my life would get sucked out by the PS1 at a time, but that was usually a rare every three or four months thing. it's just been happening a bit more often lately.

but yeah, so, we saw the series premier of Enterprise last wednesday, and it was pretty damn good. except that opening theme music which was utter crap. in fact, it was worse than that. the opening theme to Enterprise is so bad that i can't even conceive of the words to adequately describe level of disgust i feel for it.

and i bought the V mini-series DVD a weekend or so ago. it was just as good though even more cheesy than i remembered. the scene where the alien 2nd in command swallows the gerbil, or whatever it was, was just laughable.

and i've been having weird dreams lately. the first i remember was one i think i had the night i watched the first half of the V DVD, which apparently was my mind combining the World Trade Center attacks with the V story. we were up in a tall building some 200 stories up, and all of a sudden the building just leans over and falls to the ground. we're alive but scrambling to get out and to find people with our high-tech devices. we eventually make it to a house, but it's quickly taken over by what is apparently a human militia group and we're kicked out on our ass.

not sure what that all means, i guess it was just my subconscious trying to come to grips.

other dreams have come and gone, but this morning it was dreams about my ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend (previously dubbed "idiot-jerk") who were being nice if not overtly friendly towards me. i'm guessing that this dream was trying to tell me to forgive "idiot-jerk" and get over it and on with my life or whatever, but i don't think i can do that. forgive him, i mean. i think i'd like to hold onto that for a little while longer.

otherwise, i've been happy and healthy (a little too healthy if my expanding waist-line is any indication…) and apparently never without something to do.

and now, it's time for me to get out of here a little early so the systems guys can rape my machine and infect it with the Visual Studio .NET virus. apparently, i'm going to have to learn to deal with even more Microsoft crap. bah. bill gates, i spit on thee.

well, i don't even know where to begin at this point. i barely touched the computer here at home over the past week. usually, i'm on here two hours a night, at the very least, but i've spent most of my time glued to the tv as i imagine most of you have. i attempted to write a post talking about my feelings and opinions of the tragic events that have taken place. of course, about halfway through it, IE decided to get crazy and open a link from one window into my blogger window. now i'm writing this entry in notepad first.

normally, i don't watch much tv at all, and i almost never watch news programs or read the newspaper. this week, of course, was totally different. i just immersed myself in the news reports from new york and washington. for once, it seems, the news media has devoted the bulk of it's efforts into something that actually matters. the sad thing is that, after all the coverage of Clinton's various media-hyped problems, the Elian Gonzales inanity, and the Gary Condit crap, it seems like the coverage of this genuine tragedy has been cheapened somewhat. i seem to recall hearing about a time when the media had some integrity, when they actually did search out the truth and report the facts. nowadays it seems that there is more conjecture and opinion in the mainstream news than actual facts. even during this crisis, i heard certain reporters (dan rather immediately springs to mind) saying time & time again "we don't want to jump to conclusions", while bringing in guests who'd already done so, or asking leading questions to the ones who hadn't. i can't even count the times over the past week that i've heard things like "no one knows for sure, but" afghanistan, taliban, osama bin laden.

and who is it that pays for media that reports the news in this way? i think one of paul's recent posts sums it up pretty well. the racial backlash is completely abhorrent. the people who perpetrate these crimes against innocent people just because they look or dress a certain way are just as bad as the terrorists who orchestrated this horror. if one person kills another, they are just as evil as those who killed thousands.

which brings me back to the points i wanted to make when i attempted this post the first time.

despite the fact that this attack occurred on american soil, and involved innocent american citizens, it is not just an attack against america. it isn't an attack against freedom or democracy, it's not an attack against the flag or any of the other countless things america supposedly stands for. perhaps it was intended to be simply that, but in the end, this is nothing more than an attack against all of humanity, against all the citizens of planet Earth.
in the few days since i first attempted this post, i have heard more voices raised advising caution, and i have to say i'm glad. i was concerned that the only voices we heard were going to be like the grocery store i heard about who put the following words on their sign–"Bomb Afghanistan Tonight!" it is this type of ignorance that feeds the arrogant, self-serving media that i was ranting about earlier. and it is this type of ignorance that makes most all foreign countries look down their noses at us culturally, despite our physical strength.

i have also taken heart in hearing the reports of the leaders and citizens of many foreign countries voicing their horror, sympathy, concern, and support for the people who were affected by this tragedy.

but another thing that we must consider are the ultimate reasons for these attacks. what, aside from insanity, would drive anyone to commit the heinous acts against their fellow humans? we have to consider the fact that our troops have been in their lands for many years now, doubtlessly committing unspeakable crimes of their own. an attack like this doesn't just happen. our government has made enemies. our government has sanctioned actions that have ended the lives of innocent civilians in foreign lands. we are not innocent.

but this does not excuse these actions. this is not justice, just as an indiscriminate attack again afghanistan or another nation would not be justice. i want justice. i want the people who did this to pay. i want to make an example of them to the rest of the world to say that this type of attack against humanity will not be tolerated. but killing innocent people would not be justice, it would be terrorism.

i really needed this. it's been an incredibly relaxing weekend so far, and there's one more whole day to go! hell, maybe i should call in on Tuesday and just make this a mini-vacation… nah. i got too much work to do.

anyway, friday after i (finally) got home from work, i spent a couple hours hanging out on the couch watching t.v. with our kitties. i hardly ever actually just veg. out in front of the tv anymore, and usually only if someone's already watching something interesting that draws me in. i've generally just gotten so fed up with the amount of total crap the networks attempt to pass off as entertainment, that i've just given up on watching tv altogether. but you know, at times it's just like watching a train wreck. you're sitting there, half zoned-out, flipping through channels trying to see if the next channel could even possibly be worse. usually, it is.

what i would love to see would be a group of really good, really challenging directors and writers join forces with a talented group of actors and start their own cable tv network. can you imagine scorcese, david lynch, david fincher, and others of their ilk creating all the programming for a network? sitcoms, drama, soaps, news programs… man, i would pay $50 a month just for that one channel. "screw digital cable, just hook me up with that one channel please. in fact, here's an extra $40 a month if i can get the 'no commercials' version of the channel."

of course, then you'd never get me away from the tv, i'd gain about 300 pounds in two weeks, and i would die from a massive brain hemmorhage from trying to figure out what the fuck was going on in each show.

but anyway, it's been a nice weekend. had our normal sunday band practice, which was interrupted by jim's in-laws coming in with his wife's grandmother in tow. we felt like we had to turn down the volume quite a bit lest we severely offend not only her elderly ears, but her elderly moral sensibilities as well. playing our songs just isn't quite as fun when we can't crank it up. but it was a good evening anyway, paul & neil showed up shortly after jim's in-laws, and we continued to drink and play music until we just couldn't play (or drink, since the beer was all gone) any more. we then moved the mob back to our house, where neil soundly whipped all our asses in a drunken game of trivial pursuit.

tomorrow, i think i'm going to pick up the new printer i've been wanting, buy a laser pointer to drive the cats absolutely insane, and do some more serious relaxing.

in other news… in case you hadn't noticed, something that our man at themes to work properly once again… so, if you already had a themes cookie set, you should now be seeing your chosen theme again (and, would have noticed this like… a week ago), and if you hadn't set a themes cookie, or didn't know about our different themes, you should check out the themes page to see what it's all about.
and, finally, it would seem that my webcam is cooperating again. i was having some weird issues before, but have had it running now for about a day & a half without it breaking, crashing, or otherwise not working. so, check out the cam page to get a glimpse of either my (and brian's as well) lovely visage, or the wall behind my chair.

oh, hey, i've been finding it difficult to think of things to write about considering the general banality of my existence, so if anyone would like to send me a topic to discuss, .

i'm really beginning to think i'm cursed. i seem to have some type of effect on things around me that causes them to break or stop working. as i mentioned in my last post, i did a number on my new computer's BIOS chip so that it doesn't boot up at all now. i'm still waiting for that replacement chip… hopefully it'll come in today. well, yesterday, as my other computer (the smaller beastie that's serving up the internet connection for both my (defunct) and paul's machines) was processing the x:13 design web server logs to update our stats pages, something untoward happened and just completely spazzed out the system partition on the hard drive. it was still running and happily serving the internet connection when i got home, but as soon as i attempted a reboot, it wouldn't go through with it. after running scandisk and finding over 21MB of lost data and "fixing" an obscene amount of corrupted files, it still wouldn't boot… surprise, surprise. so, last night i… once again (7th time's a charm, maybe?) began reinstalling windows. i can't wait til the new Amiga motherboard and OS come out. as soon as i'm able, i'll buy two of the fuckers and forever rid myself of this windows CRAP.

to top the night off, brax and i went over to our friend jim's house for band practice (our first in several months… we're such slackers…) and, of course, my guitar has gotten to the point where you just can't tune it properly any more, and if you can, it won't hold it for longer than… oh… two seconds. so, practice was a bust. i guess i'll be going to the guitar shop sometime this week to price a new one and maybe slap some money down on one (assuming my BIOS chip comes in so i can balance my checkbook… aaarrrggghhhh…)

otherwise things are pretty status quo for me, though it sounds like brian had a bit of an adventure with the cat and bug person yesterday. and he asked if i'd like to go see radiohead in New York with him, and i'd love to, but can't really afford it… so it's good that Guy is excited about the possibility and will most likely go.

ah, paul found some pics of the actress who'll be playing the part of the Vulcan in the new Trek series. can anyone say "HOT!"? and actually, i think i'll go ahead and put up my breakdown of the hottie-star-trek-chicks that i laid out for paul the other day. it's interesting to see how, women in star trek, aside from becoming more powerful characters, are also getting better looking with each series. here's the breakdown of the progression: (oh, and this is frequently recurring or main characters only)

Original Series: Uhura, Yeoman Rand
Next Generation: Tasha Yar, Deanna Troi, Beverly Crusher
DS9: Kira Nerys, Jadzia Dax, Ezri Dax
Voyager: B'Elanna Torres, Seven of Nine, Capt. Janeway (hey, she could be pretty hot at times…)

and it's also funny, as paul pointed out, especially since Next Gen anyway, there's always a tough one and a pretty one, though the lines do blur from time to time. Tasha – tough/pretty, Deanna – pretty. Kira – tough/pretty, Jadzia – pretty/tough, Ezri – pretty. B'Elanna – tough/pretty, Seven – pretty/tough.

anyway, that's enough on that topic.

one thing i neglected to mention last night was that, as i was sitting on the couch enjoying a hearty salad and flipping channels on the TV, i came across a program where pretty much every word out of all of the participants mouths was a giant load of crap.

I am always flabbergasted by the hoops that the so-called "believers in god" jump through to disprove scientific findings with their own half-baked and glossed-over "scientific" findings. i was able, at the age of 10, to incorporate both my religion and the science i was learning, and nothing i have learned since then has shaken or challenged that combination. yet these people are so closed minded that they can't see the contradictions in their own logic while they're attempting to refute the contradictions in other's. they take what they've been taught, and when that is challenged, they hold on to it for dear life, in fear that if it's taken away, all these teachings they've built their life around will simply cease to exist. they apparently have an overwhelming desire to place limits on the capability, imagination, and omniscience of the god whose limitlessness they're trying so hard to prove.

the existence of programs and establishments such as this one, are yet another symptom of the illness and desperation of our society. it's something i've been thinking about for a long time, but have yet to come up with a succinct explanation or terminology.

needless to say, there were several times during the course of this program where i laughed out loud and nearly choked to death on a piece of lettuce.

alright, now that the internet's working, our servers are up, and i've gotten some free time, i'll finally write the post-Amiga-convention update you've all been waiting for.

of course, paul pretty much covered the majority of it already, but i suppose i have a few things to add.

the drive up was thankfully uneventful, though we did have to stop a few times for strong coffee. as we came into St. Louis, we started following the directions we'd gotten from mapquest.com. We pulled off I-270, and saw in front and off to the right of our exit ramp, the hotel that i was pretty sure was the one in which we'd be staying. despite the hotel's location, the driving directions said to turn left. we followed it left, right, up a big hill, and to the right again, where we came to the literal end-of-the-line. a big metal guard-rail was spanning the abrupt end of the road we were on, looking out over I-270. we cracked a few jokes about mapquest trying to heighten the sense of adventure for travelers, and i suggested that it was possible, if he built up enough speed, we might be able to make it over 6 lanes of divided expressway and the banks on either side to land in the parking lot that sittingly off in the hazy distance. he decided not to put alice (his car) up to that test, as she'd just had a hard day of driving and needed a rest.

at the convention, we found the typical assortment of rather large, mustache wearing, long stringy-haired people… the types of people you'd expect to find at a star trek convention. in fact, these people and their fanaticism are partly why i've never bothered to go to a meeting of the local Amiga user group. i had my fill of those types during my tenure as president of the star trek fan club in Murray. (ooh, there's a good bit of history for ya.) now, looking around on the web after the convention, i'd managed to locate a few images of the people there who were "out-there" enough for paul & i to actually give them names. unfortunately, amiga.org has been overwhelmed by visitors searching for show news and have been shut down by their hosting company for exceeding their transfer limits. after more searching, i was finally able to find a pic or two of capeboy. as soon as amiga.org comes back, i'll introduce you to funnypants guy and amiga grrl, and maybe the amiga girl we actually thought was fairly attractive, but who, of course, neither one of us talked to.

also, as paul stated, we spent the majority of saturday drinking the free beer, walking around the exhibit hall floor making fun of 85% of the people there. oh, and of course, there were the several hours i spent drunkenly struggling over whether or not to purchase that almost $300 worth of equipment, or to save my money and be able to eat this week. well, i ended up stalling long enough to not have to make that decision, so i purchased almost $100 worth of software as a consolation — not like i could go to an Amiga convention and come back empty handed!

so, day one saw paul & i drunk for the majority of the day, and one the free beer ran out, we went to the bar next door to "top off."

day two was a little more laid back, considering paul's difficulty recovering from the previous day's sleep-deprived drunkenness, and the return of his cold. we decided (for paul's sake) not to stay for the entire day of the conference, partly because he wasn't feeling well, partly because he wanted to get home to watch x-files, and partly because we'd already seen everything in the exhibit hall at least 20 times the day before. i went to a couple more seminars, and stalled my purchase until around 2:30 or 3, then we took off for home.

ok, well, this has gone on too long. suffice it to say, i had an enjoyable weekend, and i really appreciate puffin offering his services as chauffer and body-guard for the trip.

and finally, in reference to the whole spider-girl thing, marvel announced today that spider-girl will NOT be canceled. so, if you guys actually wrote in at my prompting, i'd just like to say thanks, you've helped save one of my favorite books.

quick update to the people i resemble list from 12.11.2000.

this is a new one. according to a co-worker, i look like a young, blonde will riker. (for you non-star trek people, will riker is "number one" from star trek: the next generation).

and for your enjoyment (since i looked it up) here's a comprehensive Star Trek drinking game.

as brian pointed out in a post yesterday, i've spent the last couple days recuperating from my first (and hopefully only) real cold of the winter season. funny how these always hit me when winter's on the way out. anyway, i was fairly miserable on Tuesday, but went to work anyway. by about 10:30 i realized it would be nearly impossible to remain lucid at work for the next 6 hours, so i decided to cut and run at lunchtime… hoping, of course, that going home and lounging on the couch and napping for the rest of the day would speed me on the road to recovery and make it so i could go to work Wednesday and be productive. unfortunately, by the end of the evening, i was probably feeling worse than i had earlier in the day, and i was debating on calling in before i even went to bed. but i hoped that a good night's rest would fix me right up, and after downing a few cups of hot tea, i hit the sack intending to figure things out in the morning.

long story short, i ended up taking off the whole day wednesday, lounging around the house most of the day watching reruns of classic star trek and quantum leap. i'd forgotten what a fantastic show quantum leap was.

well, now i'm back at work. and lovin every minute of it. oh, and yeah, i'm feeling quite a bit better.

at least i can say this for myself… at least i'm consistently inconsistent.

so, it seems like quite a bit has happened since the last time i posted, but then, nothing's really changed. like brian mentioned, i finally managed to finish watching that dune mini-series that i started watching, what… 3 months ago? watched the second episode on Monday, and the third yesterday (which kind of forced brian into watching it, since he was off work yesterday). overall, i thought the series was really well done. there were some instances of really shitty acting, but the primary characters were all done really well. i thought the second episode was the best of the three, by far. if you've not watched it, be sure to do so if the sci-fi channel reruns it.

i also finally managed to finish cataloguing my comics collection, so that's one huge project pretty-much out of the way. the next step is to find coverscans for all the issues i have, so if anyone knows of any out-of-the-way comics coverscans caches on this 'ol net, .

i cleaned my room, did my laundry, balanced my checkbook, caught up on some overdue email… altogether, it's been a pretty productive week for me. and i'm feeling pretty good about things right now.

and today, apparently, i've been productive and prolific, as not only am i writing this post (finally) i also wrote two rather lengthy posts to a discussion thread on an Amiga site that i frequent (which is something i never do). here's hoping today's trend calms down and spreads out to at least one post here per day… well, it's a thought anyway.

oh, and i know brian's kind of mentioned this, but just in case you hadn't noticed, bipolar has already moved to it's new home. note the swanky new address in the address bar up top…

ok, here's a reduced calorie version of the post i attempted to make the other day.

( or, the story of the year 2000 )

other things that happened pre-bipolar:

started the year in the arms of a beautiful woman, who i ended up falling in love with, and who ended up leaving me a couple months later.
lost my job of two years at the local bookstore, because of my own negligence.
spent two months off work, before breaking down and taking the Kinko's job (around the time of bipolar's first month).

so, now it's a new year, i've got the perfect job, and i'm making good money. hopefully this year will be a little better than the last.