it's amazing to me how just a few little words from the right person can brighten a day so much.

a very dear friend of mine has recently bloggerized her online journal, and her latest entry contains an excerpt from one of my most recent emails. aside from her compliments, which are humbly accepted, the thing that meant the most to me, the thing that brought a smile to my face and warmed my heart, was when she called me "dear."

this girl means so much to me. she is the love of my life, the one woman who to this day, if she were simply to ask, could prompt me to drop everything and go to be with her. she is the holy grail of my arthurian crusade. (and if you think i'm going a little off the deep end and risking freaking her out, don't you worry your little heads none–she's heard all this before… and much more) despite the fact that our time together came and went a long time ago, i value her friendship most of all.

ok, here's a reduced calorie version of the post i attempted to make the other day.

( or, the story of the year 2000 )

other things that happened pre-bipolar:

started the year in the arms of a beautiful woman, who i ended up falling in love with, and who ended up leaving me a couple months later.
lost my job of two years at the local bookstore, because of my own negligence.
spent two months off work, before breaking down and taking the Kinko's job (around the time of bipolar's first month).

so, now it's a new year, i've got the perfect job, and i'm making good money. hopefully this year will be a little better than the last.

yet again, i've let more than a week slip by without a post. i think i've been too grouchy lately for the people i hang out with to chastise me for it too harshly. up til today, i've had my head either buried in work, been playing "timsplitters", entering my comic book collection into my recently restored OmniComics database, or trying to re-start the reorganization of my personal life (ie. cleaning the hell out of my room).

i did get one email from nathan demanding that i update soon, since he finally went to the trouble of adding me to his AvantGo client on his Visor handheld. (hi nate)

which reminds me, a while back, we added some code to our pages to make them "AvantGo friendly." if you use AvantGo, and you'd (for some reason) like to be able to read us on your handheld, just use the following links:

for brian's blog, use /bipolar/blog.html
for my blog, use /bipolar/mlog.html
(just a note, if you try to load these links in anything other than AvantGo, you'll be redirected to our frameset, so you can see bipolar in all it's black skull-festooned glory.)
if users of any other handheld browser software want this ability or are having trouble getting the pages to load, just send me a note, and i'll see if i can make it work.

hrm. well, i just attempted to create an AvantGo "channel" for us here, but it would seem that if we get more than 5,000 subscribers, we'll have to pay $5,000. not that this is ever going to happen, but i don't want to open a $5,000 can of worms, no matter what the odds.
so, while we're not an official channel, you can still download us to your heart's content just by adding us to your download (or channel) list.

in other news, after three weeks of torturous work, i've been sitting on my ass here at work ALL DAY waiting for three paragraphs of content and some revised images for the project i've been working on. it's bad enough we had to push back the original deadline a week, but now we're so close and i've not been able to do a damned thing because i'm waiting for content. grrr. but, hopefully we'll have the new site up in the next day or so and i'll put in a link so you can see what i've been working on so diligently (before today, anyway).

in other other news,
this Salon article brings the whole technical virgin thing into better focus. it's now been upgraded (in my opinion) from the status of "funny joke site" into the realm of "pointed social satire." i never thought people could actually be crazy enough to believe that only "traditional sex" is "real" sex. apparently i was wrong.

4:32 still waiting for content.

what a couple of weeks. it seems like i've been too busy to do many of the things that i began enjoying on a daily basis. like blogging, for example… and not just writing this one, but reading the many blogs i enjoy reading from day to day. i'm hoping once this big project i'm working on at work is finished, i'll have a little extra time every day to get back to my blogs.

it's nice to see nanette again, though I really haven't had a great deal of time to actually hang out with her & brian since she got here. thursday, the delayed but much longed for comic day saw me at work for an extra two hours (or more) so pretty much as soon as i got home brian & Paul were bitching profusely about my tardiness and their overwhelming hunger. we introduced nanette to the (usually) wednesday tradition of comics & denny's, where we were informed a major travesty had occurred and they were out–completely out–of ranch dressing. no ranch dressing?!? how can we possibly eat a meal a denny's with no ranch dressing!?
…
well, angrily, of course.

since my Christmas present for Paul had arrived, we popped it in immediately on our return home and proceeded to laugh hysterically for over an hour.

Next came Friday, which found me, once again, staying late at work, except that this time i was there an extra 5 (that's five, f-i-v-e, 5) hours, bringing my total for the day up to a whopping 13!. i stopped off to grab beer, cigarettes, and food on the way home (since brian had informed me that both paul & guy were present, that they were going out to eat, and would be imbibing a bit… well, except for guy, who doesn't drink. then once home i proceeded to drink a little and whup both paul & brian's asses at a healthy game of timsplitters deathmatch. i'm sure this was all very amusing for nanette, who sat reading on the couch, and who'd occasionally attempt to assuage our egos by politely laughing when we silly boys tried to be funny.

then, after the drinking and the killing, we decided to do the eating. we took nanette to the infamous, legendary Twig & Leaf for a bite of the ol' Louisville Paul (oh, i mean hot) Brown. we settled comfortably into our booth and reviewed the menu. even i had planned to try the hot brown, since i've either never had one, or can't remember having had one. much to our surprise, when nanette tried to order, we were informed that they were out of the alfredo sauce that is used to make the hot brown. apparently there has been some conspiracy regarding nanette's visit to Louisville. our two traditional restaurants were both understocked on crucial elements needed to make the dining experience a complete and successful one. fortunately, they hadn't run out of their regular cheese sauce or twig taters (ie. tater tots). we finished our "meals" and headed back home clutching our protesting stomachs.

today has been an interesting exercise in "speed moving." one roommate, the unfortunately hippie-fied and constantly delinquent bob, is being ejected from this house. to our dismay, even having been given two months notice, (and a few random reminders) he had made no effort to pack or begin moving any of his (enormous amount of) stuff. so, Brax came over, he & I went to hawley-cooke to grab an assload of boxes, and we began packing bob's things for him. by the end of the evening Paul had also arrived, and between the three of us, we managed to compress what traditionally has been a two or three day affair into the miniscule space of 5 hours. bob's things are almost completely removed from his former room, and waiting for him in the basement. i can't wait to see the look on his face when he actually returns home to an almost empty room. hehe.

now it's time for bed. my body is tired, my brain is tired, and i have to rest up for what will surely be a record breaking drinking bout tomorrow night. (for me anyway).

i'm generally not a violent person, but every once in a while, if the wind is right and the planets are aligned, certain people–just by their being within my sphere of perception–cause me to imagine bashing their head forcefully & repeatedly against the metal corners of my cubicle until their blood stains the fabric walls and bits of bone and brain collect on the floor at my feet.

mind you, this doesn't happen very often.

i came across a link today that reminded me quite a bit of brian, & some of the online shenanigans i've participated in or been privy to. shauna of flaunt.net (along with a friend) has recently created whowouldbuythat.com which is dedicated to uncovering the strangest of online auctions.

in other news, i spent a few minutes last night (or hours, really) helping paul with the puffin-a-go-go. he's added a few links to his "go-go-to" section, and I managed to get his archives up and running, so all you puffin readers run over there and check up on any posts you might have missed.

well, i suppose since i'm here at work, i should probably do some.

one more quick update from the road.

another town, another kinko's. thought we'd drop in before we get fully involved in this whole driving thing, check our email, and the puffin-a-go-go for word from our boy Paul. don't know at this point if we'll be able to make it home in time for the x-files, but we'll damn well try.

had a great evening last night, getting trashed at Matty & Matt's house, where i sat around watching brian whupping both their asses (until he got too drunk and started losing). you've never heard more trash talk in your life. football players could learn a thing or two from the big monkey. thankfully, i think the Matts really were enjoying themselves (perhaps the alchohol had something to do with that, but i prefer to think it was our sparkling personalities).

then, of course, there was nanette, without whom this entire weekend really wouldn't have been possible. WE LOVE NANETTE! i'd just like to publicly thank her for being so cool, showing us around her city, and not being too afraid to introduce us to her friends despite our predilection for violent, disgusting, and otherwise offensive humor. we had a great time and look forward to coming back sometime when we have enough money to do something other than just walk around all those great shops and look at stuff.

well, 'bout time to get back on the road or we'll never ever make it back before Duchovny shouts "Scully!" again.

quick update from the house of the Matt's–nanette's friends who have been our kind and gracious hosts for the majority of this evening.

i just have to say that brian is my new hero. after last night's 25 minute discussion with Mark Arm, the single greatest vocalist in music today (my opinion) and subsequent picture taking… tonight he walks in from a quick trip to the liquor store with the thing we've been searching for since moving to Louisville–a 40oz Mickey's. all hail brian.

good to see Paul has been keeping himself entertained while we've been up here. also good to see he's hanging out with Brax, our frequently otherwise-occupied friend. as much as i'm enjoying Chicago, i miss my friends after only a couple days away.

we'll post much more later. i've got a fohtee to drink.

thought i'd actually use a song lyric for the title this time, even though that's brian's m.o. it fits, especially considering the fact that we're going to chicago to see the monkeywrench.

well, i haven't updated in a few days again. seems i've actually been finding things to do at work this past week. or, i guess, "having things forced upon me" would be a more appropriate statement. that, and i guess i tend to have less to talk about when i'm not allowing myself to be snubbed by women.

i know brian's already been touting puffin-a-go-go over on his side for a few days now (he's also been updating much more regularly and voluminously than i have, of late) but i'm gonna mention it anyway. it's nice to finally be able to link to Paul without having to resort to that out-dated crappy coffeemonk.com site. oh. wait. that's one of mine. it's crappy and out-of-date because i'm a lazy bastard. BUT puffin-a-go-go is neither crappy or out-dated, in fact, it's pretty damn snazzy, and you should check it out. knowing Paul as well as i do, i know it'll be a neat place to visit.

ok. i think that's four. that should just about catch me up to brian.

let me just state for the record that i am frightened as hell that g. dubya might be our next president. if that happens, brian, jack, and i may be on the earliest flight to australia following the announcement. hell, maybe we could even get walk-on parts as stormtroopers in the next Star Wars flick.

my day today has been interesting i suppose. woke up late, as usual, got to work much later than usual since i had to drive brian's non-car-repairing ass to work. checked my daily sites and then looked up the nearest locations of valvoline and big-o tires so i could get my car in tip-top shape for the arduous journey to chicago. on lunch, i went and got four new tires. unfortunately, i couldn't get them on credit, so i ended up spending more than i'd wanted to.

after work, went to get the fluids checked/changed/whatever expecting like $30 – $40 or something. nope. i let the guy do what needed to be done, and it ended up costing me over $70. again, more than i expected.

now, of course, my car's in good shape, but my wallet is looking a little ill. this will have to be a cheap chicago trip. i'm just hoping they sell mickeys up there. it's cheap, but it's oh so good.

though we'll be gone for the weekend, we'll be at least attempting to update bipolar while we're up there. i'm gonna pack up my trusty laptop so you all can revel in the avalanche of joy we are sure to experience. i'm really looking forward to hangin with nanette and co.

MARK ARM!

wow. it's amazing how much can happen in one day. basically, Friday evening was insane. i went to bed that night, wondering how in the hell i was going to fit the entirety of the worthy events into a single update. i kind of figured i'd have to space it out over the course of several. lucky for you i have a bad memory, and time has a way of dulling things down.

Paul and i spent the majority of the night (after my third night in a row of drinking) "thinking outside the box". at this point i can't remember how many different subjects we covered, but i know technology, philosophy, politics, sociology, and religion were all dealt with. I'll challenge you all with the question he presented to my drunk ass on my back porch after finally getting home from the bar (he has a singular knack for timing these things).

if you want to participate, with the answer to the following question:
Suppose, on halloween, you meet someone dressed in a slightly ratty suit, with a flat black-haired head, greenish face paint, and two metal "connectors" sticking out of either side of his neck. Who is he dressed as?

i'll post the results (and the answer i'm looking for) by the end of the week. i'll give ya till next Monday.

this particular question, i believe is what sparked our entire conversation that night. we talked about semantics, trademarks and abuse of same, and the general stupidity or laziness of the majority of the nation. at least this time, i didn't get the feeling the apocalypse was nearing.

by the time Paul & I finished talking, it was already almost 7 in the morning, and i had to get some sleep before going into work on a damned Saturday. no sooner had i fallen into the very edges of sleep, than i was shocked awake by the very loud sound of a transformer blowing up 20 feet from my window and all the various lights and contstant household sounds going dark and silent. i groaningly pulled myself out of my comfortable bed, hoping my house was not being utterly consumed by fire, because a fire would certainly prevent me from getting to sleep anytime soon, and would be a major hassle. once i realized the house was relatively safe from immediate destruction (barring, of course, attack by terrorists or space aliens) i went to the kitchen and called the electric company's automated "our service sucks" hotline and reported the trouble. Jess & I sat up chatting for a little while, and at one point, she suggested (as many many people have) that I should go back to college and get my degree. i thought about it for a minute before coming to a conclusion.

the only major that i could conceivably see myself taking would be something along the lines of "Theoretical Realism." I think it would be kind of neat to be a degreed theoretical realist. I could tell people with authority when they were living in a fantasy world, or i could come up with various theories attempting to explain what exactly reality is, and why it sucks so much.

then i thought of an even better degree program, which i would just have to follow all the way to the doctorate level. I mean, wouldn't you like to be referred to as a "Doctor of Omniscience"… ? you know, you'd start out with your bachelors in omniscient studies, move up to masters, then get the PhD. sounds fun.

well. i guess that's it. i'm drained for now. i'm not omniscient yet.

seems like brian's been admirably picking up my slack around here, updating bipolar on a regular basis while i've been busy doing a bunch of nothing.

first off, thanks to the executors of the Sebastian Stirling estate for their birthday well-wishes, all the more meaningful considering their recent loss.

i've certainly had a decent birthday. can't complain too much. yesterday, i had my 90 day evaluation at Corvus and got a raise! if that doesn't make for a decent birthday, i don't know what does.

spent most of the day today lounging around the house in my bathrobe, as I like to do, surfing the web, pricing new computers. looks like i'm going to end up going the sony VAIO route. and as brian said, "they made the PlayStation 2, how can you go wrong?"

had a good dinner and good beer with good friends at the irish rover (with no horrible bitch waitress in sight), and afterwards went to the hideaway saloon with brian and proceeded to drink two more pints and play some really bad drunken pool.

and finally, i told you all that stuff partly to avoid thinking about this–
she didn't remember. not that i'm surprised, mind you, but after i, on her birthday, and after not having spoken to her in like 4 or 5 months, wrote her a letter and made the effort to rekindle at least a friendship of some sort, i had kind of hoped that she would. i guess she's too busy being the little queen bee, having all her little drones buzzing around her (-like i used to do-), and doesn't have time to remember the birthday of the person she keeps assuring is her best friend in the world. agh. enough of that.

i am a happy person, see :^)

**update 12/17/2004** signaldrench is no more, now there's newartillery